This is certainly a consensus pick as one of the worst (if not the worst) movies ever made - and for that very reason I've always wanted to watch it. Now I have, and my suggestion to everyone is - lighten up. Yes, it's bad. The sets are dreadful - worse than you used to see on Saturday morning kids' shows. The special effects are weak - although to be honest I've seen worse portrayals of space flight. And the costumes are hilarious - especially the polar bear and the robot. But come on - you have to admit that there's a certain "cuteness" to the story of Martians coming to earth to kidnap Santa Claus so that he can bring happiness to their children. All the characters are pretty one- dimensional. There's good guys and bad guys and fun guys and kids from both Earth and Mars. No one gets particularly well developed. And then, of course, there's Santa. In all honesty, I thought John Call did a decent job as the jolly old man. In this age of high tech special effects and big budget movies there's no doubt that this looks pretty weak - and even by the standards of 1964 it was still pretty weak. But it's good fun, and for the fun alone I don't think it deserves its reputation as one of the worst movies ever. What's left to say, except - "Hurray for Santy Claus!" 4/10
274 Reviews
Can something this dumb really be harmless?
mstomaso25 April 2005
Maybe I have a soft spot somewhere in my heart for poorly written, badly conceived, silly 1960s children's movies - but I really can't understand why Santa Claus versus the Martians is in the worst 100 movies of all time here on IMDb. Sure, most viewers will breathe a sigh of relief when it ends, but this film really seems downright harmless compared to the six month old Kennel Ration Hollywood has been feeding us as commercial film for the last ten or so years. Hey, at least it's not a remake, a sequel, or a 2 hour long CGI cartoon with a few human faces tossed in for effect.
Santa Claus gets kidnapped by distraught martians (white guys with bad green makeup and a few dishwasher parts glued to their heads, as well as inexplicable capes), who want to rescue their depressive, antisocial children from the doldrums by giving them all toys and a big red-suited guy with a beard to laugh at... err... with. Santa adapts to life on Mars very well and starts cranking out the toys with the help of Martian machines, but political controversies surrounding his activities soon threaten the fabric of Martian Society.
I'm not kidding.... really.... this is the plot.
Aside from the ludicrous plot and mediocre acting (Bill McCutcheon gives the only really enjoyable performance in this film, though Pia Zadora and Vincent Beck are not too bad), this is no worse than many of the kid films of its time. In the age of ADD and general impatience, however, this film is more than a little dated. The only modern kid I can imagine enjoying this film is one with an extraordinarily great attention span and a penchant for B-films. In terms of production, this film has the feel of a 2 hour, 1960s low budget TV show, and is almost as clever.
I would recommend avoiding this film unless you're compelled to watch films which go to extremes. I found it cute, funny, and more than a tad ridiculous. To most people, it's a film version of your great Aunt's wallpaper - it's just there on the TV, while far more interesting things are happening in the carpet below your feet.
Santa Claus gets kidnapped by distraught martians (white guys with bad green makeup and a few dishwasher parts glued to their heads, as well as inexplicable capes), who want to rescue their depressive, antisocial children from the doldrums by giving them all toys and a big red-suited guy with a beard to laugh at... err... with. Santa adapts to life on Mars very well and starts cranking out the toys with the help of Martian machines, but political controversies surrounding his activities soon threaten the fabric of Martian Society.
I'm not kidding.... really.... this is the plot.
Aside from the ludicrous plot and mediocre acting (Bill McCutcheon gives the only really enjoyable performance in this film, though Pia Zadora and Vincent Beck are not too bad), this is no worse than many of the kid films of its time. In the age of ADD and general impatience, however, this film is more than a little dated. The only modern kid I can imagine enjoying this film is one with an extraordinarily great attention span and a penchant for B-films. In terms of production, this film has the feel of a 2 hour, 1960s low budget TV show, and is almost as clever.
I would recommend avoiding this film unless you're compelled to watch films which go to extremes. I found it cute, funny, and more than a tad ridiculous. To most people, it's a film version of your great Aunt's wallpaper - it's just there on the TV, while far more interesting things are happening in the carpet below your feet.
Not NEARLY as bad as people make it out to be...AND a lot more fun than it has any right to be!
talisencrw5 April 2016
I still very much appreciate its spirit, both in terms of no-budget filmmaking and sense of fun. I wish that the films of today could have even a fraction of its good-natured mischievous approach. Certainly film studios could learn a thing or two, in this ridiculous era of quarter-of-a-billion-dollar blockbusters. I for one don't need the equivalent of 'having my eyes masturbated', as one cinema critic so lovingly stated.
I would prefer watching this in a second over any of the ham-fisted, cash-soaked holiday atrocities made in the past three decades (I believe 'A Christmas Story', and perhaps 'Elf' and 'National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation' to be the last decently-made Yuletide films).
But don't take MY word for it...see it for yourself (without the stupid and condescending MST3K commentary) and make your OWN conclusion.
I would prefer watching this in a second over any of the ham-fisted, cash-soaked holiday atrocities made in the past three decades (I believe 'A Christmas Story', and perhaps 'Elf' and 'National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation' to be the last decently-made Yuletide films).
But don't take MY word for it...see it for yourself (without the stupid and condescending MST3K commentary) and make your OWN conclusion.
Ludicrous, yet charming, Christmas-based nonsense
Red-Barracuda21 January 2015
Santa Claus Conquers the Martians is a low budget kid's movie from the early 60's. It has a reputation as one of the worst movies ever made. But, similar to most such famously trashed films, it actually turns out to be nowhere near the worst of the worst. More accurately, this could be described as an enjoyable slice of cheese. Sure, its rubbish on several levels but it also happens to be memorable on several other levels.
The story, such as it is, has the Martians kidnapping Santa Claus and, in the process, abducting two Earth children as well. You see, the Martians want to enjoy Christmas as well. With a plot-line as moronic as that, there's really no point in splitting hairs over details and instead just sit back and watch what unfolds. The sets, costumes and make-up are all bargain-basement but they all work well enough within the confines of the plastic coated world that they exist in. Some of the highlights of the film as a whole include an angry Martian and friendly but stupid Martian, an impressively unconvincing and fake polar bear, a comedy punch up and last, yet surely best of all, a truly infectious theme song about Santy Claus. In the final analysis, there's enough strangeness here to qualify this as a bona fide cult item. It's poor, yet simultaneously quite good. Come on now; let's hear it for Santy Claus!
The story, such as it is, has the Martians kidnapping Santa Claus and, in the process, abducting two Earth children as well. You see, the Martians want to enjoy Christmas as well. With a plot-line as moronic as that, there's really no point in splitting hairs over details and instead just sit back and watch what unfolds. The sets, costumes and make-up are all bargain-basement but they all work well enough within the confines of the plastic coated world that they exist in. Some of the highlights of the film as a whole include an angry Martian and friendly but stupid Martian, an impressively unconvincing and fake polar bear, a comedy punch up and last, yet surely best of all, a truly infectious theme song about Santy Claus. In the final analysis, there's enough strangeness here to qualify this as a bona fide cult item. It's poor, yet simultaneously quite good. Come on now; let's hear it for Santy Claus!
Santa Claus Conquers the Martians... and our hearts.
zmaturin11 June 2001
I really enjoy this silly little holiday flick. A bunch of serious Martian adults are afraid that their serious Martian children are too serious, so they go to a serious Martian senior citizen. The old guy tells them that the children need to be taught how to laugh, and then he explodes for no reason. The only logical thing left to do, of course, is go to Earth and kidnap Santa Claus, who we meet as he is being interviewed by the Rip Taylor-like Andy Anderson. I liked how in the movie's universe, Santa is unquestionably real and everyone knows about him. He really does deliver toys to everyone, toys made by a dozen elves (who all look like they're suffering from mini-seasonal depression). One toy shown is a toy rocket that runs on "real rocket fuel", Santa proudly explains. I would ask, "Where do little kids get rocket fuel?" The details of Santa's amazingly speedy mass distribution methods are not brought up, but it's probably black magic-related.
The Martians nab Kris Kringle and two little Earth children, who seem to live alone in the woods with no parents or family but are clean and well fed. The Martian leader forces Santa and the children to run their soulless toy machine (Soulless Toy Machine would be a good name for a band). Despite the numerous violations of human rights, it's all in good fun and everybody is nice and happy, except for one mean Martian (with a disturbing droopy mustache and a sidekick that looks like Jamie Farr) who plots to kidnap Santa (even though he's already been kidnapped). Santa encourages the kids, even the Martian kids who have now learned to have fun, to hurl lots of heavy mid-sixties toys at the bad guy's skulls. Through this display of parental negligence and bad music the evil is thwarted, and Santa is permitted to go back to Earth, letting the mewling half-wit comic relief Martian named Droppo take over the reigns of the Martian Toy Empire. (The Martians are out-of-shape guys in tights and helmets with antenna sprouting out of them, and what looks like diarrhea smeared across their faces. Imagine a guy dressed like that mugging worse than the teacher guy in Juan Piquor Simon's "Monster Island" and that's Droppo).
How can you hate this movie? If I were a little kid in 1964 I'd be enthralled. They packed this movie with nutty stuff. Elves get shot with freeze rays. Mrs. Claus is a frantic goofball. The Martian children sleep under strange lights and eat only pills. The bad guy's hideout looks like that one King Crimson album cover. I loved the part where the villain tries to shoot Santa and the kids out of an airlock, and the part where the bad guys meddle with the toy machine and the toys come out all mixed-up. There's a guy in a goofy robot costume, and a guy in an even goofier polar bear costume. And that deliciously idiotic theme song- "You spell it S-A-N-T-A C-L-A-U-S, Hooray for Santy Claus!" Oh, it's so good!
I sincerely feel the people making this had the best intentions, and while they didn't have a huge budget they made a fun, silly kids movie. If it was the same exact movie but done in Rudolf-style stop motion animation it would be a regular holiday viewing tradition.
Oh, yeah, and Pia Zadora is in this, as if anyone cares.
The Martians nab Kris Kringle and two little Earth children, who seem to live alone in the woods with no parents or family but are clean and well fed. The Martian leader forces Santa and the children to run their soulless toy machine (Soulless Toy Machine would be a good name for a band). Despite the numerous violations of human rights, it's all in good fun and everybody is nice and happy, except for one mean Martian (with a disturbing droopy mustache and a sidekick that looks like Jamie Farr) who plots to kidnap Santa (even though he's already been kidnapped). Santa encourages the kids, even the Martian kids who have now learned to have fun, to hurl lots of heavy mid-sixties toys at the bad guy's skulls. Through this display of parental negligence and bad music the evil is thwarted, and Santa is permitted to go back to Earth, letting the mewling half-wit comic relief Martian named Droppo take over the reigns of the Martian Toy Empire. (The Martians are out-of-shape guys in tights and helmets with antenna sprouting out of them, and what looks like diarrhea smeared across their faces. Imagine a guy dressed like that mugging worse than the teacher guy in Juan Piquor Simon's "Monster Island" and that's Droppo).
How can you hate this movie? If I were a little kid in 1964 I'd be enthralled. They packed this movie with nutty stuff. Elves get shot with freeze rays. Mrs. Claus is a frantic goofball. The Martian children sleep under strange lights and eat only pills. The bad guy's hideout looks like that one King Crimson album cover. I loved the part where the villain tries to shoot Santa and the kids out of an airlock, and the part where the bad guys meddle with the toy machine and the toys come out all mixed-up. There's a guy in a goofy robot costume, and a guy in an even goofier polar bear costume. And that deliciously idiotic theme song- "You spell it S-A-N-T-A C-L-A-U-S, Hooray for Santy Claus!" Oh, it's so good!
I sincerely feel the people making this had the best intentions, and while they didn't have a huge budget they made a fun, silly kids movie. If it was the same exact movie but done in Rudolf-style stop motion animation it would be a regular holiday viewing tradition.
Oh, yeah, and Pia Zadora is in this, as if anyone cares.
Harmless Christmas fun.
Sleepin_Dragon22 December 2020
I badly want to give this film a 3/10, because it is by today's standards, abysmal. However, you have to try and take this film for what it is, made way back in 1964, the world was a very different place, the height of the cold war.
It is a Christmas film, and it's of course intended for adults, so you probably would have had to have been there, it's sweet, and from a kid's perspective probably did have some degree of charm.
The music is shocking, and the acting.... I'll leave that for you. At least they opted not to make Santa a Kung Fu Master, it's all meant to be heart warming.
Could I sit through it again? Absolutely not, but one of the worst movies of all time? I've seen worse.
It is a Christmas film, and it's of course intended for adults, so you probably would have had to have been there, it's sweet, and from a kid's perspective probably did have some degree of charm.
The music is shocking, and the acting.... I'll leave that for you. At least they opted not to make Santa a Kung Fu Master, it's all meant to be heart warming.
Could I sit through it again? Absolutely not, but one of the worst movies of all time? I've seen worse.
A Very Cute Christmas Movie!
Rainey-Dawn7 December 2016
This is one of those really dorky movies - extremely geeky! Yet it's fun, cute and a bit sweet... a little bit on the freakishly cool side too. It's one of the oddest movies ever made. It's very much kid friendly so if you have youngsters and are looking for a different kind of holiday film then you might want to try this movie. It's not great at all but it is one of those "so bad it's good" type of holiday family films.
I acquired a copy of this movie through the Sci-Fi Classics 50-Films Pack put out by Mill Creek. I'm very glad they added this one - it's a refreshing change. I've just finished re-watching this film and I'm reviewing it just about 2 1/2 weeks before Christmas. It was great timing for me to get this film pack and I had no idea this movie was in the batch of films until I received it.
4/10.
I acquired a copy of this movie through the Sci-Fi Classics 50-Films Pack put out by Mill Creek. I'm very glad they added this one - it's a refreshing change. I've just finished re-watching this film and I'm reviewing it just about 2 1/2 weeks before Christmas. It was great timing for me to get this film pack and I had no idea this movie was in the batch of films until I received it.
4/10.
The best worst awful awesome movie ever!
Torgo_Approves31 May 2006
(r#30)
Basically everything is wrong about this film, and that's what makes it so great. It's hysterical, but even as you're laughing yourself breathless you can't help but feel bad inside that you're actually chewing down this rotten junk food. Because that's what Santa Claus Conquers the Martians is: a case of food poisoning. There are layers and layers of awfulness in this movie, and it really is an unforgettable experience. The actors are all stoned out of their minds and extremely ugly. The title pretty much explains the plot, although there's not really a lot of "conquering". Maybe a better title would have been "Santa Claus Laughs at Inappropriate Times while Hanging Out with Bad Actors in Silly Outfits"? Just saying. I know it isn't as catchy, but at least it's not deceiving.
It would be impossible to sum up all the stuff that sucks about this film, so I'll break it down into what I remember most strongly: a man in an ingeniously fake-looking polar bear costume (funnier than the "bear" from Hercules in New York); an extra with the most unnatural laugh you're ever likely to hear; an ex-dope addict martian with tics; kid actors who make sure every syllable of their lines are slowly and caaarreee-fulll-yyy prrooo-noun-ceeed; a newspaper headline stating that Santa's been "kidnaped", and a giant robot. Yes, you read that right. A giant robot.
The worst acting job in here must be when Mother Claus and her elves have been "frozen" by the "Martians'" weapons. Could they be *more* trembling? I know this was the sixties and everyone was doped up, but still.
This wins the Dung Beetle Award of the year. Destined to become a Christmas classic for me!
Basically everything is wrong about this film, and that's what makes it so great. It's hysterical, but even as you're laughing yourself breathless you can't help but feel bad inside that you're actually chewing down this rotten junk food. Because that's what Santa Claus Conquers the Martians is: a case of food poisoning. There are layers and layers of awfulness in this movie, and it really is an unforgettable experience. The actors are all stoned out of their minds and extremely ugly. The title pretty much explains the plot, although there's not really a lot of "conquering". Maybe a better title would have been "Santa Claus Laughs at Inappropriate Times while Hanging Out with Bad Actors in Silly Outfits"? Just saying. I know it isn't as catchy, but at least it's not deceiving.
It would be impossible to sum up all the stuff that sucks about this film, so I'll break it down into what I remember most strongly: a man in an ingeniously fake-looking polar bear costume (funnier than the "bear" from Hercules in New York); an extra with the most unnatural laugh you're ever likely to hear; an ex-dope addict martian with tics; kid actors who make sure every syllable of their lines are slowly and caaarreee-fulll-yyy prrooo-noun-ceeed; a newspaper headline stating that Santa's been "kidnaped", and a giant robot. Yes, you read that right. A giant robot.
The worst acting job in here must be when Mother Claus and her elves have been "frozen" by the "Martians'" weapons. Could they be *more* trembling? I know this was the sixties and everyone was doped up, but still.
This wins the Dung Beetle Award of the year. Destined to become a Christmas classic for me!
Absolute Genius!!!
XDevonousX16 June 2006
This is truly the worst movie I have ever seen, but it really goes beyond that. Something this stunningly terrible simply had to be done on purpose. Every joke, every "special effect" every background, every costume is done without any kind of thought as to not looking like it was done in under fifty seconds. This film brings artistry to sub-mediocrity. Something so basely horrible defies the physics of cinematography. I could not make a worse movie if I spent absolutely no time at all making it. Someone really, really tried to make this piece of gold stink like a thousand dead scatologists. If you have a dollar on you the next time you pass by your local dollar store, do yourself a favor and revel in the worst thing you can imagine.
There should have been a sanity claus.
mark.waltz20 December 2019
Warning: Spoilers
Since plan nine failed, the Martians are at it again. Martian children have become obsessed with American TV, and apparently in possession of really good TV rabbit ears), so their fathers decide to grab earthling children and later Santa Claus for themselves. The children of earth discover the plot to kidnap Santa and decide to stop them.
The Martians here, wearing very tight, revealing clothing, look exactly like humans except they have green tinted skin (making me believe that the Wicked Witch of the West must have been a Martian) and felt skulls with antennas, some with moustaches and some able to laugh. There's even one who could have been the Mickey Rooney from Mars. One of the Martian children is the young Pia Zadora who would go on to become the greatest film star of the 1980's. The art direction is actually pretty interesting, but it looks closer to a 60's TV science fiction show (like "Lost in Space") than the serious sci-fi films of the time. Get a loaf of the fake polar bear in the north pole sequence and a giant robot that is truly laughable.
What makes this film really bad is the idiotic dialogue and the acting which really seems like the actors (if you can call them that) memorize the script that morning and never rehearsed before the cameras rolled. The Martians also use guns that look like they are shooting nerf balls. At least there's that zippy "Hooray For Santa Claus!" song for audiences to sing as they left the theater. This really seems to have been made the intentions of being cheesy, and I'm on that level, it's succeeds.
The Martians here, wearing very tight, revealing clothing, look exactly like humans except they have green tinted skin (making me believe that the Wicked Witch of the West must have been a Martian) and felt skulls with antennas, some with moustaches and some able to laugh. There's even one who could have been the Mickey Rooney from Mars. One of the Martian children is the young Pia Zadora who would go on to become the greatest film star of the 1980's. The art direction is actually pretty interesting, but it looks closer to a 60's TV science fiction show (like "Lost in Space") than the serious sci-fi films of the time. Get a loaf of the fake polar bear in the north pole sequence and a giant robot that is truly laughable.
What makes this film really bad is the idiotic dialogue and the acting which really seems like the actors (if you can call them that) memorize the script that morning and never rehearsed before the cameras rolled. The Martians also use guns that look like they are shooting nerf balls. At least there's that zippy "Hooray For Santa Claus!" song for audiences to sing as they left the theater. This really seems to have been made the intentions of being cheesy, and I'm on that level, it's succeeds.
It's brought a lot of pleasure to people
epa1016 January 2010
This has been ridiculed on "The Canned Film Festival", "Mystery Science Theater 3000" and "Cinematic Titanic": the only three to be mocked on all three bad-film programmes. Everything about it is so tacky that you can't help but laugh: a Santa Claus with a pipe who says "No Sirreee", a melodramatic Martian ruler, a polar bear that would be unconvincing in a pantomine. Still, the fact it makes you laugh means that it's not that bad. It wouldn't been on all three of those programmes if there were not a lot of fun to be had from laughing at it. I'd rather own something like this than, say, Richard Harris's first film "This Sporting Life", which is so boring that there is no way of getting any enjoyment from watching it. This is a bad film with a bad plot and it does get boring in parts, but it'll cheer you up on a bad day.
Lots of fun
loriwallace-937969 April 2017
Made in 1964 this film is a cult classic. Is it a great film? No! Is it fun to watch? Absolutely. Should you see? Of course. Is it safe for children? Yes.
The plot of this film is that the children of Mars are in some sort of stupor. When a father goes to the supreme leader about the problems his children are having the leader tell s them that "Children are no longer Children on Mars". Eventually the Martians are told about how on earth they have Christmas and Santa Claus.
The Martians then set out to kidnap Santa and they do along with 2 children.
Santa however is facing a problem when he gets on Mars because one the Martians does not approve of his arrival.
If your a child of the 1970's then chances are you have seen this film. It is fun to watch. You can't help but to laugh at the cheap looking "Saturday Morning Television" special effects.
The plot of this film is that the children of Mars are in some sort of stupor. When a father goes to the supreme leader about the problems his children are having the leader tell s them that "Children are no longer Children on Mars". Eventually the Martians are told about how on earth they have Christmas and Santa Claus.
The Martians then set out to kidnap Santa and they do along with 2 children.
Santa however is facing a problem when he gets on Mars because one the Martians does not approve of his arrival.
If your a child of the 1970's then chances are you have seen this film. It is fun to watch. You can't help but to laugh at the cheap looking "Saturday Morning Television" special effects.
Brilliant film...
whammy66620 February 2006
Here it is, one of the best B-movie scifi films I have had the pleasure of seeing...the best Christmas movie next to Jack Frost (the one with the killer snowman). This is the best film I have paid a dollar for. I had wanted to see this and I had went to the dollar store and WHAMMO! There it was...Santa Claus Conquers The Martians on beautiful DVD. I got home, watched it, and laughed my butt off. This is a truly hilarious film. SEE A polar bear aka guy in a bear costume! SEE a humungous robot aka guy in a big costume! SEE aliens aka guys with green facepaint and green helmets on! SEE Santa Claus CONQUER THE MARTIANS! Quite possibly some of the worst special effects in film history, and one of the fuinniest plots in film history, it all adds up to fun! This movie has no boobies and gore, so it is appropriate for children too! Wow...what a remarkable film! SEE SANTA CLAUS CONQUER THE MARTIANS TODAY!!!!
Do not open 'til Christmas...or any other time.
Mister-613 July 1999
I remember seeing this movie a long time ago, way back before they installed the cup holders on the theater seat arm rests. You know, the good old days. All I could remember was the bright lights and colors, the green Martians, Santa was in it, and that "song" (S-A-N-T-A, C-L-A-U-S....)
The next time I saw it, I was a freshman in college and it was playing at the local pub's Bad Flick Night.
Time was not kind.
It's a kid's movie, provided the kid is mentally deficient, a hostile brat and/or has short-term attention disorder. Either way, this one will appeal to them.
For the rest of us, there's the issues of Santa-kidnapping Martians in BRIGHT green makeup and helmets that resemble Yul Brynner's headgear in "The Ten Commandments"; other Martians that you either want to punch out (Dropo) or try and talk out of future acting opportunities (a young Pia Zadora-???); Santas that walk around saying "Merry Christmas", despite the fact that Christmas is not even close; pop guns that immobilize people; polar bears that have extremely long hind legs; and blah, and blah, and blah...
But DOES Santa Claus actually conquer the Martians of the title, like it says? Yep, but he doesn't hit, punch, kick, bite, scratch, claw or anything. Sorry kids, green blood does not flow here. You see, Santa puts in a Martian North Pole workshop and wins over the Martians with peace and good will towards men...and Martians too, I guess. He even makes lazy good-for-nothing Dropo a Martian Santa. GOOD; anything that will keep that nutcase on his own planet....
Two stars for SCCTM; one star for the Christmas spirit and another for the fact that it was half-price beer night when I went in that pub to see it again.
Maybe they should do that for "The Horse Whisperer"....
The next time I saw it, I was a freshman in college and it was playing at the local pub's Bad Flick Night.
Time was not kind.
It's a kid's movie, provided the kid is mentally deficient, a hostile brat and/or has short-term attention disorder. Either way, this one will appeal to them.
For the rest of us, there's the issues of Santa-kidnapping Martians in BRIGHT green makeup and helmets that resemble Yul Brynner's headgear in "The Ten Commandments"; other Martians that you either want to punch out (Dropo) or try and talk out of future acting opportunities (a young Pia Zadora-???); Santas that walk around saying "Merry Christmas", despite the fact that Christmas is not even close; pop guns that immobilize people; polar bears that have extremely long hind legs; and blah, and blah, and blah...
But DOES Santa Claus actually conquer the Martians of the title, like it says? Yep, but he doesn't hit, punch, kick, bite, scratch, claw or anything. Sorry kids, green blood does not flow here. You see, Santa puts in a Martian North Pole workshop and wins over the Martians with peace and good will towards men...and Martians too, I guess. He even makes lazy good-for-nothing Dropo a Martian Santa. GOOD; anything that will keep that nutcase on his own planet....
Two stars for SCCTM; one star for the Christmas spirit and another for the fact that it was half-price beer night when I went in that pub to see it again.
Maybe they should do that for "The Horse Whisperer"....
Not terrible if you think a bit
NextActionHero6 November 2011
Warning: Spoilers
This film is regarded as a "turkey" and one of those films that's "so bad it's good." There are several things to consider when reviewing this film, but the most important considerations are the time it was made and the intended audience.
Santa Claus Conquers The Martians was made in 1964. Anyone who was a child around 1964 can tell you it was a very innocent time compared to today. Kids genuinely believed in Santa Claus then. One must also consider a child's concept of Martians, robots, and space travel in 1964. The cheesy Martian makeup and the clunky robot may evoke laughter from a modern audience, but a child's toy collection in 1964 might have had a Marx tin robot toy that looked very much like the one featured in this film. In fact, Marx Toy Company created the toys used in this film.
I was born in 1968, and I remember watching this movie on commercial television in the early 70s with my mother. Adult viewers see the story, set design, and effects as cheap and silly, but to a child in the 60s and 70s, this film was perfect Christmas viewing.
It's important to remember that this film was intended for children, and more specifically, children from a specific time in history. Not all films are timeless, and this one can be regarded more as a time capsule, showing just how innocent kids were 50 years ago.
The premise that Santa was real and had adventures beyond his annual duties was just fun for kids. I can't imagine this film having the bad reputation it has if it were done as one of the Rankin-Bass animated Christmas specials.
A look at the cast also reveals that all of the adult actors were professionals from stage and other film productions. I found the line delivery and acting to be sincere, and it's obvious that the cast did this because they loved their children. If this were done as a stage production, the audience would laugh along with the silliness, but kids would be mesmerized. And that's another thing to consider: the movie's costumes and set design actually seem more suited to a stage play rather than a film.
I'd say if you watch this film expecting some kind of sci-fi classic, you'll be disappointed. But if you look at it from a historical point of view, and consider that it's a play made with love for children who believed Santa Claus would visit them soon, you might see it in a different light.
Santa Claus Conquers The Martians was made in 1964. Anyone who was a child around 1964 can tell you it was a very innocent time compared to today. Kids genuinely believed in Santa Claus then. One must also consider a child's concept of Martians, robots, and space travel in 1964. The cheesy Martian makeup and the clunky robot may evoke laughter from a modern audience, but a child's toy collection in 1964 might have had a Marx tin robot toy that looked very much like the one featured in this film. In fact, Marx Toy Company created the toys used in this film.
I was born in 1968, and I remember watching this movie on commercial television in the early 70s with my mother. Adult viewers see the story, set design, and effects as cheap and silly, but to a child in the 60s and 70s, this film was perfect Christmas viewing.
It's important to remember that this film was intended for children, and more specifically, children from a specific time in history. Not all films are timeless, and this one can be regarded more as a time capsule, showing just how innocent kids were 50 years ago.
The premise that Santa was real and had adventures beyond his annual duties was just fun for kids. I can't imagine this film having the bad reputation it has if it were done as one of the Rankin-Bass animated Christmas specials.
A look at the cast also reveals that all of the adult actors were professionals from stage and other film productions. I found the line delivery and acting to be sincere, and it's obvious that the cast did this because they loved their children. If this were done as a stage production, the audience would laugh along with the silliness, but kids would be mesmerized. And that's another thing to consider: the movie's costumes and set design actually seem more suited to a stage play rather than a film.
I'd say if you watch this film expecting some kind of sci-fi classic, you'll be disappointed. But if you look at it from a historical point of view, and consider that it's a play made with love for children who believed Santa Claus would visit them soon, you might see it in a different light.
A film you won't forget... ever.
sharktrooper2119 January 2011
The title pretty mush somes up what kind of movie we have here. That is cheesy, dumb, and wrong on so many levels. In other words, the perfect film for MST3K.
I don't really need to how bad it is but there is only one msytery that eludes me. Who the hell thought that this might a good enough idea to put money to fund a film like this? I can only think of two reasons:
1. Since it's a holiday film, they thought they could get away with it. 2. It was made in Canada.
Still I love the MST version and can't think of a better film that could serve as their Chrismas special. Also I never noticed prior to watching this that Santa is smoking. An icon for children everywhere is smoking out of a pipe! Hilarious!
I don't really need to how bad it is but there is only one msytery that eludes me. Who the hell thought that this might a good enough idea to put money to fund a film like this? I can only think of two reasons:
1. Since it's a holiday film, they thought they could get away with it. 2. It was made in Canada.
Still I love the MST version and can't think of a better film that could serve as their Chrismas special. Also I never noticed prior to watching this that Santa is smoking. An icon for children everywhere is smoking out of a pipe! Hilarious!
a bizarre film with a bizarre concept.
JamesMovieGuy_11724 December 2017
Martians kidnap Santa Claus due to an elder's belief that the Martian children need to experience Christmas and the joys of childhood. This leads to two human children discovering the conspiracy and work to get Santa Claus back by Christmas.
This is a bizarre film with a bizarre concept. It's not good at all but if you want a b-grade schlocky film to watch during the holidays, look no further than this. It's for the most part harmless and despite its dumb and schlocky nature, I can understand why some may appreciate this as a guilty pleasure.
It's a very low budget film with crappy production qualities, awful looking costumes and special appearances from people in cheap looking polar bear and robot costumes.
If you are intrigued by Santa Claus Conquers the Martians, give it a watch. I know some people who like to watch this during Christmas time due to its bizarre nature. It essentially has the same production qualities as an Ed Wood movie but it's a Christmas movie.
This is a bizarre film with a bizarre concept. It's not good at all but if you want a b-grade schlocky film to watch during the holidays, look no further than this. It's for the most part harmless and despite its dumb and schlocky nature, I can understand why some may appreciate this as a guilty pleasure.
It's a very low budget film with crappy production qualities, awful looking costumes and special appearances from people in cheap looking polar bear and robot costumes.
If you are intrigued by Santa Claus Conquers the Martians, give it a watch. I know some people who like to watch this during Christmas time due to its bizarre nature. It essentially has the same production qualities as an Ed Wood movie but it's a Christmas movie.
A must-see just for laughing at his inaniness
bellino-angelo201411 February 2019
Warning: Spoilers
This ranks among the cults of the worst movies of all time (and it ended again on IMDB's Bottom 100) and it's also unintentionally funny. And it's probably the strangest and most psychedelic Christmas movie out there!
The kids on Mars are depressed, and this because they don't have Christmas presents and Santa Claus that gives them presents. Then the martians have the idea of kidnapping Santa Claus (and in the process they also kidnap two Earth children that act very poorly). On Mars the Martians are happy but Santa and the kids not. This because the kids are nostalgic of their home and their family and Santa in the technological world of Mars hasn't nothing to do but pushing the same buttons over and over again. Then Dropo (the dumbest and most obnoxious alien that you'll ever find in a movie) disguises as Santa and then the Martian kids are happy, and the real Santa Claus and the two kids are sent on Earth at the end.
Everything in this movie is pretty bad. The acting is very bad by everyone (especially by the two Earth children). I personally saw much better acting in Pauly Shore or Steven Seagal movies! The sets are pretty bad, like in PLAN 9 and ROBOT MONSTER there is too much stock footage, and the alien's costumes are the most hideous costumes I ever saw in old B-movies. The special effects are atrocious (especially the polar bear that is a guy in a suit which his head falls while he is chasing the kids), the characters are all unlikeable except Santa, but I hated Dropo SO much that I wanted to jump in the movie and beat him for stopping him! And the soundtrack, except the credits' song (I am ashamed of saying it but I found it catchy) it's very annoying and grating.
In substance, a truly awful movie but also a must-see that you can use for a laugh or two. It has to be seen to be believed!
The kids on Mars are depressed, and this because they don't have Christmas presents and Santa Claus that gives them presents. Then the martians have the idea of kidnapping Santa Claus (and in the process they also kidnap two Earth children that act very poorly). On Mars the Martians are happy but Santa and the kids not. This because the kids are nostalgic of their home and their family and Santa in the technological world of Mars hasn't nothing to do but pushing the same buttons over and over again. Then Dropo (the dumbest and most obnoxious alien that you'll ever find in a movie) disguises as Santa and then the Martian kids are happy, and the real Santa Claus and the two kids are sent on Earth at the end.
Everything in this movie is pretty bad. The acting is very bad by everyone (especially by the two Earth children). I personally saw much better acting in Pauly Shore or Steven Seagal movies! The sets are pretty bad, like in PLAN 9 and ROBOT MONSTER there is too much stock footage, and the alien's costumes are the most hideous costumes I ever saw in old B-movies. The special effects are atrocious (especially the polar bear that is a guy in a suit which his head falls while he is chasing the kids), the characters are all unlikeable except Santa, but I hated Dropo SO much that I wanted to jump in the movie and beat him for stopping him! And the soundtrack, except the credits' song (I am ashamed of saying it but I found it catchy) it's very annoying and grating.
In substance, a truly awful movie but also a must-see that you can use for a laugh or two. It has to be seen to be believed!
An intricate, homely and delirious masterpiece!
Cluckewallist25 December 2020
Warning: Spoilers
This old cult classic can at times feel like a film from the future and it is more relevant today than it has ever been!
After the mind boggling perfection that is the opening scene which I have uncontrollably erased from my mind, it delves into the subject of "civilization". A martian father figure is deeply concerned about his children's TV addiction, summons an ancient God as a last resort to save his children from the cruel claws of domineering TV advertisement strategists. The martians watch the Earth from above, an Earth that is magical and full of life in contrast to the dull and over-civilized Mars. It reminds me of Christopher Ryan's book "Civilized to Death", and is most likely an allegory for today's people who yearn to return to the way things were in the past.
The villain, whose moniker is "the black moustache man", represents the toxic masculinity that is opposed to magical things, like Santa, and children. Meanwhile Santa has a white moustache, a true battle of wills represented by such a duality! The black moustache man complains about the excess amount of soy in the atmosphere of Mars softening up all the martian men and plans to kill Santa who is apparently conspiring against his traditional values.
Meanwhile Santa is depicted as an alternative version of "The Mask", always laughing and mocking around, playing stupid and naive while he appears to have the power of a God. In fact he is so powerful that he seems to not take reality seriously at all, a bit too overpowered I'd say. I wanted to see him sneak up behind the bad guys and show them his true powers. And as expected, in the final battle against the black moustache man, Santa is utterly dominant, humiliating, shocking and overwhelming. After a painfully unhinged battle that must have been a fever dream of mine, magic and happiness conquers the dull civility of toxic masculinity.
And all comes full circle crashing down.
After the mind boggling perfection that is the opening scene which I have uncontrollably erased from my mind, it delves into the subject of "civilization". A martian father figure is deeply concerned about his children's TV addiction, summons an ancient God as a last resort to save his children from the cruel claws of domineering TV advertisement strategists. The martians watch the Earth from above, an Earth that is magical and full of life in contrast to the dull and over-civilized Mars. It reminds me of Christopher Ryan's book "Civilized to Death", and is most likely an allegory for today's people who yearn to return to the way things were in the past.
The villain, whose moniker is "the black moustache man", represents the toxic masculinity that is opposed to magical things, like Santa, and children. Meanwhile Santa has a white moustache, a true battle of wills represented by such a duality! The black moustache man complains about the excess amount of soy in the atmosphere of Mars softening up all the martian men and plans to kill Santa who is apparently conspiring against his traditional values.
Meanwhile Santa is depicted as an alternative version of "The Mask", always laughing and mocking around, playing stupid and naive while he appears to have the power of a God. In fact he is so powerful that he seems to not take reality seriously at all, a bit too overpowered I'd say. I wanted to see him sneak up behind the bad guys and show them his true powers. And as expected, in the final battle against the black moustache man, Santa is utterly dominant, humiliating, shocking and overwhelming. After a painfully unhinged battle that must have been a fever dream of mine, magic and happiness conquers the dull civility of toxic masculinity.
And all comes full circle crashing down.
As the other 1 star reviewers say...
cinephile-2769024 March 2019
The plot is stupid (read the title again if you don't know why), the polar bear looks fake, actually EVERYTHING looks fake, the picture quality, everything is trash!
This is now considered to be a "cult classic", a hated movie that has gained popularity, and rightfully so. It's a "so bad it's good" movie, and probably one of the best of it's kind.
As I watched this movie, I wondered what I should rate it. It's not boring, but the film quality sucks! It's amazing that My Fair Lady, Mary Poppins, and The Gospel of According To St. Matthew came out the same year!
The movie gets a 1 for it's quality, but it's a must see for goofy fun!
This is now considered to be a "cult classic", a hated movie that has gained popularity, and rightfully so. It's a "so bad it's good" movie, and probably one of the best of it's kind.
As I watched this movie, I wondered what I should rate it. It's not boring, but the film quality sucks! It's amazing that My Fair Lady, Mary Poppins, and The Gospel of According To St. Matthew came out the same year!
The movie gets a 1 for it's quality, but it's a must see for goofy fun!
It's just pretty bad!
Hitchcoc17 April 2006
I only watched this because for about forty years I have seen it listed among science fiction movies. Yes one reviewer said it was made for kids. That's true. Others were made for adults. However, bad is bad. Who the film was directed at is of no consequences. I would suspect short attention spans, would last about five minutes. It's just a rambling mess of mistaken identity and ridiculous situations, going nowhere. Santa is OK in his ho, ho, ho, sort of way, but he even looks bored and confused at times. He is brought to Mars to get the kids to focus on more traditional Martian values or something. They are watching too much TV, I guess. But the pitfalls are that the Martians are so uninteresting. Earthlings with shoe polish on their faces--it even rubs off at times. There is the obligatory bad guy. I guess he's on a power trip because what difference does it all make? The title is really the best part of the movie.
Santa Claus Conquers the Martians
Scarecrow-8824 December 2009
Warning: Spoilers
Classic among bad movie enthusiasts, it is, after all, geared towards children and is innocuous, with it's heart in the right place. Martians kidnap Santa Claus and two Earth kids, hoping they can bring a smile to the frowning faces of their little green children. With a title like "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians", it's certain to draw ridicule..it's just so easy to mock the costumes, sets, effects, and dialogue, but it's all directed at kids at Christmas time, so adults would find such silly dross as this a perfect target for scorn.
The scene with the giant robot or North Pole polar bear, the martians' head gear, face paint, and costumes, Santa ho-ho-ho-ing at situations which simply aren't funny(..and few are laughing, and even here it's strained and forced), newspaper front pages proclaiming in horror of Ole Saint Nick's capture at the hands of the Martians, zap guns which "freeze" victims in a temporary state which will soon wear off(..Santa is quite disappointed that his wife and elves have been zapped, but his cheery resolve is rather amazing), the "radar box", Bill McCutcheon's clumsy oafish martian Dropo (..always bumbling, stumbling about and getting in trouble), the escape from certain death(..when it appears that Santa, Billy, and Betty are doomed to be sucked out in space, somehow miraculously finding their way out through a small access tunnel), the red cave on mars where Dropo is kidnapped after villainous Voldor(Vincent Beck)mistakes him for Santa, and a broom closet in the dwelling of King Kimar. The Martian kids have their own television sets which broadcast to them specials telecast on Earth, and a live interview in Santa's workshop instigated by a jovial reporter. The machine which makes toys for the Martian children is sabotaged by Voldor who believes Santa is making his "warrior race" weak through Holiday cheer.
I could go on and on, but, again, the movie's crowd was supposed to be children, and it's spirit is aimed at this particular demographic so we as adults are gonna respond with embarrassment at it. The dressed up sets and Martian costumes instantly tickle the funny bone, and the plot is bizarre, there's just no disputing this, but I find the motives behind this admirable.
The scene with the giant robot or North Pole polar bear, the martians' head gear, face paint, and costumes, Santa ho-ho-ho-ing at situations which simply aren't funny(..and few are laughing, and even here it's strained and forced), newspaper front pages proclaiming in horror of Ole Saint Nick's capture at the hands of the Martians, zap guns which "freeze" victims in a temporary state which will soon wear off(..Santa is quite disappointed that his wife and elves have been zapped, but his cheery resolve is rather amazing), the "radar box", Bill McCutcheon's clumsy oafish martian Dropo (..always bumbling, stumbling about and getting in trouble), the escape from certain death(..when it appears that Santa, Billy, and Betty are doomed to be sucked out in space, somehow miraculously finding their way out through a small access tunnel), the red cave on mars where Dropo is kidnapped after villainous Voldor(Vincent Beck)mistakes him for Santa, and a broom closet in the dwelling of King Kimar. The Martian kids have their own television sets which broadcast to them specials telecast on Earth, and a live interview in Santa's workshop instigated by a jovial reporter. The machine which makes toys for the Martian children is sabotaged by Voldor who believes Santa is making his "warrior race" weak through Holiday cheer.
I could go on and on, but, again, the movie's crowd was supposed to be children, and it's spirit is aimed at this particular demographic so we as adults are gonna respond with embarrassment at it. The dressed up sets and Martian costumes instantly tickle the funny bone, and the plot is bizarre, there's just no disputing this, but I find the motives behind this admirable.
Paging Edward D. Wood
amherst528222 January 2005
If the fabulously awful yet admirably enthusiastic director Ed Wood had ever made a kids' holiday flick, this would have been it.
This movie is not bad, if by bad you mean boring and a waste of time. It's spectacularly appalling, the way "Plan 9" is. They obviously had a budget of about fifty bucks to make this, and it shows.
But some of us love these evidences that once upon a time in America there was such a thing as real independent cinema, and all-afternoon multi-feature holiday shows at neighborhood theaters that only had one screen, and sing-along events built into kids' movies, and fun that didn't depend on multi-billion dollar special effects.
This is one of those movies that you will laugh at and make fun of, yet long for the days when local, independent television stations aired it on a Saturday afternoon before Christmas. You'll make jokes about it, but catch yourself absentmindedly humming "Hooray for Santy Claus!" for the rest of your life. And you'll amaze your friends with -- "I know what movie Pia Zadora made her debut in, and you don't!"
This movie is not bad, if by bad you mean boring and a waste of time. It's spectacularly appalling, the way "Plan 9" is. They obviously had a budget of about fifty bucks to make this, and it shows.
But some of us love these evidences that once upon a time in America there was such a thing as real independent cinema, and all-afternoon multi-feature holiday shows at neighborhood theaters that only had one screen, and sing-along events built into kids' movies, and fun that didn't depend on multi-billion dollar special effects.
This is one of those movies that you will laugh at and make fun of, yet long for the days when local, independent television stations aired it on a Saturday afternoon before Christmas. You'll make jokes about it, but catch yourself absentmindedly humming "Hooray for Santy Claus!" for the rest of your life. And you'll amaze your friends with -- "I know what movie Pia Zadora made her debut in, and you don't!"
For Kids Who Still Believe In Santa Claus
hogwrassler19 December 2020
I can still remember, as a kid back in 1964, seeing the TV commercials advertising that "Santa Claus Conquers The Martians" was coming to the local movie theater. I am watching it right now on Movies TV! It's on their Saturday morning popcorn movies lineup. Since it's the Saturday before Christmas, it's an appropriate time to show it. The plot of martians coming to earth to kidnap Santa Claus in order to get Martian kids to stop watching earth TV programs is a unique idea. It's kind of silly but earth kids back in 1964 would believe most anything. The special effects are OK and the makeup is good enough the time period. There are some legitimate actors in SCCTM. John Call was well cast as Santa. He had a long career both as a stage, movie and TV actor. What with the internet today, modern kids would probably not be too interested. But, it might be an enjoyable movie for really young kids who aren't into the internet and cell phones yet. And for any of us who still believe in Santa Claus.
Deck the Halls of Mars with Folly
wes-connors21 February 2010
"Martian children are addicted to Earth's television shows featuring Santa Claus. This enrages their parents, who travel to Earth to kidnap Santa himself. On arrival, they kidnap two zealous children who lead them to 'Santa's Workshop' at the North Pole. They return to Mars with Santa and the children in tow, but are thwarted when he converts the Martian children with unstoppable Yuletide joy," according to the DVD sleeve's synopsis.
"Santa Claus, you're coming with us!" was the line that got me. See if you can watch it straight through, with a friend, and not crack a smile. This amazingly silly film was obviously intended for young kids to see during Saturday afternoons in December, first in the cinema, and later on TV (just like the Martian children glued to their set). Or, maybe the whole project was a plot designed by parents to make their children go outside to play.
Mean and mustached Vincent Beck (as Voldar) does well as the bad Martian; later, he guest-starred as the villainous "Megazor" on "Lost in Space", a show which (more often than not) accomplished much with small resources. Reputedly, Gene Lindsey is the man in the polar bear suit, but he can't bee seen; later, he guest-starred as "Randall Drew" (Roxanne's brother) on "Dark Shadows", a show sparking the imagination on a limited budget.
With a small budget, your really need a big imagination. "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians" has a few good lines, a phallic set statue (as the Martian kids watch TV), and a nice view of the sky as seen from Mars (see Saturn?) - but, there isn't enough creativity aboard. John Call (as Santa Claus) and Bill McCutcheon (as Dropo) try their best with the script, and 1980s celebrity Pia Zadora (as Girmar) debuts. Milton Delugg's music is nicely done.
**** Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (11/14/64) Nicholas Webster ~ John Call, Vincent Beck, Bill McCutcheon, Pia Zadora
"Santa Claus, you're coming with us!" was the line that got me. See if you can watch it straight through, with a friend, and not crack a smile. This amazingly silly film was obviously intended for young kids to see during Saturday afternoons in December, first in the cinema, and later on TV (just like the Martian children glued to their set). Or, maybe the whole project was a plot designed by parents to make their children go outside to play.
Mean and mustached Vincent Beck (as Voldar) does well as the bad Martian; later, he guest-starred as the villainous "Megazor" on "Lost in Space", a show which (more often than not) accomplished much with small resources. Reputedly, Gene Lindsey is the man in the polar bear suit, but he can't bee seen; later, he guest-starred as "Randall Drew" (Roxanne's brother) on "Dark Shadows", a show sparking the imagination on a limited budget.
With a small budget, your really need a big imagination. "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians" has a few good lines, a phallic set statue (as the Martian kids watch TV), and a nice view of the sky as seen from Mars (see Saturn?) - but, there isn't enough creativity aboard. John Call (as Santa Claus) and Bill McCutcheon (as Dropo) try their best with the script, and 1980s celebrity Pia Zadora (as Girmar) debuts. Milton Delugg's music is nicely done.
**** Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (11/14/64) Nicholas Webster ~ John Call, Vincent Beck, Bill McCutcheon, Pia Zadora
See also
Awards | FAQ | User Ratings | External Reviews | Metacritic Reviews
