Mon, Mar 27, 1972
Harold wants to re-decorate but cannot agree on a colour scheme with his father so they agree to put a partition down the living room and have their own space on either side. There is even a coin-operated turnstile put in the hall which each must feed to pass through common ground. Unfortunately when the house catches fire the turnstile severely limits the firemen who do not have change for it.
Sun, Oct 20, 1974
Albert has done his back in and the doctor orders bed-rest since it's not serious enough to warrant hospital admission. Harold is run ragged, climbing up and down the stairs to wait on him and carrying him to the toilet. When Albert's back clicks back into place he maintains the illusion of illness, but Harold has noticed beer and sweets have gone missing, lays a trap to expose Albert, and gets his revenge via the dreaded blanket bath.
Mon, Apr 3, 1972
It's a cold winter day and the Steptoes are reduced to putting pfennigs in the meter. They are visited by two escaped convicts, elderly Frank and the younger Johnny. When Johnny denounces Frank as introducing him to crime and ruining his life, Harold sympathises and says that Albert has always held him back. Frank defends Albert, telling Harold to respect his father. When the two finally leave, having given Harold their last shilling for the meter, Johnny agrees to let Frank go with him, just as Harold has always allowed himself to return to Albert. Steptoe and Son feel sad that their visitors have gone.
Mon, Feb 21, 1972
The vicar calls, asking for an article on rag and bone men for the church magazine's centenary edition. Both Steptoe and Son want to write it but Harold wins the toss and, foreseeing a journalistic career ahead of him, works hard interviewing local totters for his piece. Albert has still been asked to make a contribution - a crossword, but, as the clues and answers turn out to be filthy, the magazine is seized as being obscene and burnt so Harold's article never sees the light of day.
Thu, Dec 26, 1974
Harold wants to go to Switzerland for Christmas whilst Albert, as usual, prefers Bognor, though he is persuaded to go provided they sail, rather than fly. However he has no passport and when Harold finds his birth-certificate in order to get him one, it turns out that Albert is the illegitimate son of the muffin man and the picture of his supposed father is really Gladstone. At customs Albert's new passport is accepted but Harold's is a year out of date, so Albert happily goes on the holiday alone, unaware that Harold has actually cooked a scheme allowing him to spend Christmas with his girl-friend - in Bognor.
Mon, Mar 6, 1972
When Albert's brother George dies it's a surprise to Harold who never knew he existed. The greedy relatives turn up for the funeral, all hoping to be left something - even Albert wants the twenty-five pounds he lent George in 1925 for an aborted emigration to Australia. They are all in for a shock when it transpires that George left all his money to animal charities, though at least Albert manages to sneak out a valuable figurine everyone coveted.
Mon, Mar 13, 1972
When a tax inspector calls to investigate Albert's claim for an allowance for his - long dead - wife, Harold gets him drunk and he agrees to giving 'her' a back-dated pension, though Albert has to drag up to claim it and attracts an unwanted admirer. Eventually Steptoe and Son tell the tax office that the lady has died. However, Albert forgot to tell Harold about the fake daughter for whom he was claiming, thus requiring another drag act.
Mon, Feb 28, 1972
Harold has joined an amateur dramatics group who use the Steptoe house as a rehearsal room for their play set in Afghanistan during the days of the Raj. Initially mistrustful of actors Albert changes his mind when given a part in the play but his snide interruptions during Harold's scene with leading lady Nemone, plus his inability to read his lines correctly, get on Harold's nerves. Come the performance however a nervous Harold is a flop whilst his father is the star of the show. Leaving the stage door Harold is asked by a young boy if he is an actor but replies he is a rag and bone man and will never be anything more before throwing a bottle through the dressing room window.
Mon, Nov 30, 1970
Harold wants to move up in the world so he and a reluctant Albert go to view a suburban semi-detached house. When the local Residents' Association gets to hear that two rag and bone men are planning to move into the area they offer a bribe to stop them coming. Harold is appalled by such prejudice but Albert sees a potential money-spinner on the way.
Fri, Mar 20, 1970
Timothy Stanhope, an elderly antique dealer, comes to the Steptoes' yard. He is a cultured man and Harold sees the opportunity to make a friend with whom he can converse about the finer points in life. Unfortunately, he has not twigged that Timothy is gay and wants him for more than erudite conversation. Albert has but Harold ignores his father's warning and goes to Timothy's flat. He soon comes back again.