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14 out of 16 people found the following review useful: Gather the relatives, kidnap the nieghbors, everybody will enjoy this one., 22 November 2001 Author: Glenn Andreiev (gandreiev@aol.com) from Huntington, NY
Put this on the VCR on Christmas day, and let people gather round the boob tube. Have them gawk at the crazy, silly wonder at this Mexican produced version of St. Nick, and fun will seep in like vodka spiced egg-nog!Santa lives in space with little kids and a senile magician (Mrs. Claus probably filed for divorce decades ago!) He uses listening devices (made up of applainces and human organs. I am not kidding!!!) to spy on children on earth. he also pauses to watch a frightening puppet show, a Mexican glamour gal go shopping, etc. etc. Then we meet Santa's enemy- Pitch. Pitch is a prissy devil who dances alot, complains of stomach cramps, and uses wild hand gestures when he talks. Pitch has to destroy Christmas or Satan will make his ulcer worse! The plot gets crazier when Santa moonlights as a bartender, children have dreams that look like cheaply rendered LSD trips (with nagging dolls, parents that arrive in coffin-like boxes) I am not making anyof this up. This is possibly the strangest Christmas movie ever made. Box up that CD of old Chrsitmas caroles. This Christmas, this loopy wonder should be on your TV.
20 out of 28 people found the following review useful: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!, 30 December 2006 Author: Torgo_Approves from El Paso!
Some might say something like "Baby Geniuses" with its giant robot infants or "Dumbo" with its psychedelic drug-addled nightmare sequence would win the award for the most disturbing movie ever made for children. You might say that too, but you'd be wrong. Lo and behold, for I bring to you: Santa Claus, the most helplessly messed up family film since ... well, ever. From the opening scenes showing children from different parts of the world singing their insipid theme songs (seriously, this segment is nearly 20 freakin' minutes long and has nothing to do with the plot!) to the thrilling conclusion in which Merlin pops up from outta nowhere and saves the day (don't mind him, he's from Barcelona), this is childhood trauma at its finest. And no matter how hard I try, no matter how many different therapists I visit, I just... can't... get... those... reindeer's...laughter...out... of... my ... head! Avoid this mind-bending piece of trash like you'd avoid a sex-starved whale during mating season. Still, if flaming gay demons with a serious case of the overacting flu are something for you, I guess you should give it a try. But really, this movie isn't worth your time and mental health.
14 out of 18 people found the following review useful: Mexican Santa Claus Versus Satan, 25 December 2006 Author: TimothyFarrell from Worcester, MA
What the ...? As a kid's film, this is a complete failure. What would you expect from the folks who brought us "The Brainiac" and "Night of the Bloody Apes"? However, as a surrealist film, it is one of the most compellingly bizarre things I've ever seen. I know this wasn't the intentions of the filmmakers (who wanted to create some Yuletide magic to make a buck), but this is what nightmares are made of. I'd go so far as to saying this is the most bizarre film I've ever seen, and I'm familiar with the works of Jodorowsky and David Lynch. The film's already general weirdness is increased in my eyes as its all completely unintentional. What kind of mind would create this and honestly think of it as holiday cheer? Its certainly the most unintentionally bizarre film ever made, even beating out infamous titles such as "Glen or Glenda" and "The Tingler". This coupled with the garishly kitschy set design (which is like those old Flash Gordan serials on acid) make this a must for psychotronic fans. This is the stuff us cult film fanatics can only dream of.What makes it so bizarre? It is one of the worst bastardizations of Santa Claus ever made. Santa doesn't live in the north pole, but in a cloud in outer space. He doesn't have elves as helpers, but children from all around the world (apparently child labor laws don't mean too much to him). His helper is Merlin the Magician. How these two came together I don't know, but here they are hand in hand. He really knows what every child is up to due to his surveillance system including a giant ear and lips that transmit what every child is saying. He has to fight Satan, who wants to stop him. If this film was ever re-released, a more appropriate title would be "Mexican Santa Claus Versus Satan". Apparently Santa represents the worst enemy to Lucifer. Interestingly enough, this is the only Christmas film in recent memory to mention Jesus explicitly.This isn't something to show to your kids. It'll give them nightmares for weeks on end and possibly result in them hating the holiday. However, psychotronic fans will be in heaven. This is as unique a viewing experience as either "Eraserhead" or "El Topo". I enjoyed this a lot better than the more infamous "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians". The sheer strangeness along with the fact I was never bored combined to create a film I know I'll never forget. I can't award this anything higher than a five, because the filmmakers completely failed at their original intentions, but I still highly recommend this to those intrigued by what they've read. (5/10)
9 out of 9 people found the following review useful: Viva Senor Santa!!, 14 July 2001 Author: Bothan from Birmingham, Alabama
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
***SPOILER WARNING***NOTE: This is not to be confused with Tim Allen's lousy `The Santa Clause' or the snoozy `Santa Claus' with Dudley Moore or even the god-awful `Santa Claus Conquers the Martians', no this late 50s rhubarb is god-awful in it's own right.However, I write this with a smile on my face . . . This very bizarre (and at times very creepy) 1959 Mexican kid's movie takes everything you know about Santa Claus and chucks it out like last year's Christmas tree. According to this movie Santa doesn't live at the North Pole but lives on a cloud in a castle somewhere in space and spies on the earth's children through a strange telescope with an eyeball at the other end. There is no Mrs. Claus to be seen but instead he has two sidekicks: a little Mexican moppet named Pedro and Merlin the magician (yes THAT Merlin the magician). Apparently not wanting to care and feed livestock, Santa has a quartet of creepy wind up reindeer that cackle – *shudder*. This Santa isn't even fat!Santa has no elves but instead employs children from each country dressed in their respective stereotypical outfits who wake in the morning and sing a song that I swear couldn't make head nor tail of. The screen should flash `These children are NOT actors' because most of them are camera shy and just stand around waiting for their cues. The African have bones in their hair, the Mexicans wear Sombreros, the Americans are dressed like cowboys and the kids from Central America are dressed like disgraced employees from a taco stand.Well, Batman must have his Joker so Santa has one of Satan's minions, a bouncy fellow named Pitch who looks like Jamie Farr with huge red plastic Spock ears. Satan warns this professional screw up to turn all the good little children bad or risk spending eternity eating ice cream (Maybe he's lactose intolerant, I dunno). Pitch zeros in on three rambunctious little boys and gives them rocks to throw at a store window then on an penniless tot named Lupita who wants a doll for Christmas more then anything and tries to encourages her to steal one.The rest of the movie is pretty obvious, Santa tries to deliver presents, and Pitch tries to spoil the mission. At one point Santa actually shoots a dart into Pitches butt taking the movie into even darker territory. As for the climax we get Santa having run out of invisibility dust treed by a dog named Dante just before sunrise. Oh and I forgot to mention the narrator who gives us the color commentary every step of the way lest we miss anything.`Miracle on 34th Street' it ain't - but this misguided, politically incorrect and horribly dated cinematic toilet brush is still fun especially when MSTyed which does help cushion the blow.
10 out of 11 people found the following review useful: Santa vs. Pitch: The Case of the Magical Movie from Mexico?, 4 December 2003 Author: pirate1_power from New York City
How to explain the unusual 1959 feature from Mexico, wherein the Merriest Man on the Planet teams up with Merlin the Magician to defend the magic of Christmas against Ol' Sparky, a/k/a the Devil --- or, to be more accurate, his agent Pitch?Well, for some reason, this film has its share of defenders. Recently, the website www.kgordonmurray.com was developed just for them, paying tribute as it does to the Miami-based entrepreneur who somehow acquired the U.S. rights to this strangely bizarre Santa Claus film from its Mexican-based producers. One would surmise that the all-Mexican cast and crew wanted to stress all the tenets associated with Mexico's perceptions of good versus evil; God (personified here by Santa) versus Satan (or, as the English-language version calls him, Lucifer, King of Hades), again in the person of Pitch --- Well, really, the whole thing was put together by people who simply had no clue as to Santa's primary concepts! Adding Merlin the Magician (direct from King Arthur's Court) and giving him a special place in Santa's heavenly castle might have worked wonders for the screenwriters, but purists of Camelot and its ilk will certainly ask what in thunder Merlin's doing in a movie about Santa Claus. And what is all this business with magical flowers, and even magic cocktails anyway? The idea of getting drunk to be with the ones you love sounds a bit twisted in my book --- but, as they say, to each his own.Then we turn to Lupita, the little girl who seems obsessed with being good. OK, it's good to want to be good, but even behaving positively can at times be taken to extremes, as we obviously see here. Pitch makes every effort to seduce her into doing bad things, but at this point it becomes clear that she will not be moved. One has to wonder why. Lucifer has, after all, threatened Pitch that if he fails in his mission against St. Nick, he'll be fed chocolate ice cream (which is fun, but it doesn't exactly classify as a so-called 'punishment'.Look, the bottom lime here is that this silly film is a laugh riot. How we giggle and guffaw at this film each time we view it is beyond analysis. Just enjoy the darn movie, and laugh yourself a merry (albeit bizarre) little Christmas. Now.
12 out of 16 people found the following review useful: Probably one of the stupidest films you'll ever see., 13 October 2000 Author: lartronic from Akron, Ohio.
If Santa was real, he'd probably take revenge on everyone responsible for this that are still living. This ranks as one of the all time worst holiday films ever made, right along with "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians". If curiosity gets the best of you, try to see the MST3K version, it's a laugh riot, like usual. 'Tis the season to make fun of bad movies.
8 out of 9 people found the following review useful: Santo vs. a wicked but ineffectual demon, 14 June 2000 Author: (kikaidar@hotmail.com) from Wichita, KS USA
Every once and again, a producer takes a simple, appealing little idea and runs amok with it. The middle-1970s were largely the official stumbling block for "childrens movies" designed to offer gentle, non-hip entertainment. Now, even Disney-produced films can have touches of low humor and things that parents of the 1950s would take exception to.However, in 1959, there was still time for an unsophisticated storyline. The best years of Rankin-Bass lay ahead, and -- down in Mexico -- work was being completed on a slightly outre' Christmas film.SANTA CLAUS emerges in the 1990s as a "party film," simply on the merits of some of the more bizarre elements, which include the fabled Jolly Old Elf spying on unaware children with a sophisticated, wiggly telescope eye, a minor demon tormenting Santa with a toy missile launcher, and far more elfin magic than is good for you.In his castle (literally) in the clouds, Santa and a gaggle of "typical" children (a Mexican boy, a somewhat Germanic girl and an all-American cowboy Norte Americano) are busily getting the good on the unwary children of the world. In spite of a minor flaw with his mobile spy eye, Santo deftly homes in on a little girl who has no means to get that doll she's been wanting.You realize, of course, that she'll get it...In the meantime, down in suburban Heck, the devil sends wicked, somewhat able Pitch to Earth to stonewall Santa's Christmas dealings. Pitch is essentially warned that he'd better not screw this job up. At this point, I think we all see where all this is heading.Santo arrives on Earth in a vaguely sci-fi sleigh. He bedevils a couple of nasty boys who heckle the waif, and we see her tormented with guilt as Pitch tries to engineer her stealing of a doll.Of course, she instinctively does the right thing, which leaves Pitch at loose ends. Having been a wee bit short of the task of corrupting a 5 year-old child, he turns on Santa. There follow a few extremely humiliating scenes of the demon trying to do something significant.Santa wins, Pitch loses.How do you analyze a film like this? It plays exclusively on a "feel good" emotional level, with no sophistication in plot or execution. For the very young, it will probably play well (a public domain video version was market in the U.S. some years ago). For the older viewers, I'd suggest the Mystery Science Theater 3000 version, which mercilessly homes in on each and every bizarre or particularly weak point.
6 out of 6 people found the following review useful: the scariest horror film I've ever seen...oh, wait, this was a Christmas movie!, 18 October 2005 Author: Diana from United States
This has to be creepiest, most twisted holiday film that I've ever clapped eyes on, and that's saying something. I know that the Mexican people have some odd ideas about religion, mixing up ancient Aztec beliefs with traditional Christian theology. But their Day of the Dead isn't half as scary as their take on Santa Claus.So..Santa isn't some jolly, fat red-suited alcoholic(take a look at those rosy cheeks sometime!). Rather, he's a skinny sociopathic pedophile living in Heaven(or the heavens, whichever), with a bunch of kids who work harder than the one's in Kathy Lee Gifford's sweat shops. They sing oh-so-cute traditional songs of their homelands while wearing clothing so stereotypical that i was surprised there wasn't a little African-American boy in black face singing 'Mammy'. This Santa is a Peeping Tom pervert who watches and listens to everything that everybody does from his 'eye in the sky'. This is so he can tell who's been naughty or nice(with an emphasis on those who are naughty, I'd bet).There's no Mrs. Claus, no elves(what does he need elves for when he's got child labor?) and the reindeer are mechanical wind-up toys! This floating freak show hovers on a cloud, presumably held up by its silver lining.Santa's nemesis is...the Devil?! What is this, Santa our Lord and Savior? Weird. Anyhoo, Satan sends one of his minions, a mincing, prancing devil named Pitch, to try to screw up Christmas. Let me get this straight-the forces of purest evil are trying to ruin a completely commercial and greed driven holiday? Seems kind of redundant, doesn't it?Pitch is totally ineffectual. He tries to talk some children into being bad, but doesn't have much luck. I was strongly struck by the storyline of the saintly little girl Lupe, who's family is very poor. All that she wants is a doll for Christmas, but he parents can't afford to buy her one(they spent all of their money on the cardboard that they built their house out of). So Pitch tries to encourage her to steal a doll. In reality, that's the only way that a girl that poor would ever get a doll, because being saintly and praying to God and holy Santa doesn't really work. But Lupe resists temptation and tells Pitch to get thee behind her, and so is rewarded by being given a doll so creepy looking that you just know that it's Chucky's sister.Along the way Pitch manages to get Santa stuck in a tree(uh-huh) from whence he's rescued by Merlin! Merlin? You have got to be kidding me! Since when do mythical Druidic figures appear in Christmas tales, or have anything to do with a Christian religion? And doesn't God disapprove of magic? They'd have been burning Merlin at the stake a few hundred years ago, not asking him to come to the rescue of one of God's Aspects(or that's what I assume Santa must be, to be going up against Satan). This movie is one long HUH? from start to finish, and it'll make you wonder if that eggnog you drank wasn't spiked or something. Probably it was, since this movie is like one long giant DT.
9 out of 12 people found the following review useful: The Worst Film Ever?, 28 December 1998 Author: Welly-2 from England
This film is awful. Give me the dentist anytime! Can you believe that one of the main TV stations here in Arabia had this as their Christmas film! I can only assume they expected to entertain the crowds with Dudley Moore rather than this. The last time I looked at my hot water bottle it had more acting, better plot, more drama and a lot more interest than this waste of celluloid. Don't even watch it if you're drunk!
5 out of 6 people found the following review useful: Jeez RD wasn't kidding...., 22 December 2002 Author: Dylan Brennan (Homerdoh26@aol.com) from New Jersey
All right I recently got a chance to rent this and watch Santa Claus conquers the martains. Although the children were much more sadistic in SCCTM, I would have to say that Santa Claus was a much worse movie. As a spanish assignment in Spanish 5 we all had to watch it. I'll tell you, usually when we watch a movie we are all just talking and eating food, but not for this movie. Everyone just kept there jaw open wondering what the evil Mr. Pitch was going to do next. Would Merlin help Santa Claus!?! or would his robot reindeer come and save the day? I would suggest renting it because it is the biggest piece of rubbish I have ever seen and I love it for that. :D
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