Santa Claus (1959) User Reviews

What if FELLINI made a low-budget Christmas kiddie movie in Spanish!

[therascalsarchives · 4/10 · 6 January 2009]

I saw this film numerous times in the late 60's/early 70's whenever it reared it's head like a reindeer with rabies every November-December as a Saturday matinée kiddie show.It was always stiff competition for THE CHRSTMAS THAT ALMOST WASN'T (oops-can I SAY "Christmas"?), perhaps the greatest,most iconic Christmas-season film of all time.But that's another review.

At the time,I marveled that the on-screen tint of SANTA CLAUS was almost "pink and white", so much had the color of the sprocket-torn prints changed color.

The film is kinda creepy! I thought so then--and still do, actually. I was highly entertained then, as I still am! It's amusing in a "retarted-elf" sort of way. By the way,the image quality looks much better on the DVD I have now than it did in the theater, circa 1969-74.

If you are expecting maybe "the lost RANKIN-BASS Christmas special-forget it! If you want FELLINI DOES Christmas--read on...

By nature, the dubbing on these foreign films (the original version here was in Spanish)always makes them seem "surreal". This adds to the films inherent oddness. It is also pretty scary in that a "mishevious demon" (as described in the original US trailer) spends the entire film trying to turn decent kids "evil". One particularly nightmarish scene has a young "latch-key" boy wishing he had parents for Christmas-suddenly the "port-a-family" emerges out of giant "Christmas presents-of-the-mind" until he realizes he's just daydreaming! See this,Christmas lovers--and if you're a stoner, save your stash--this film will make you think you're hallucinating...without drugs!

Pure pain and yet, I love it!

[BandSAboutMovies · 3/10 · 17 December 2017]

This is a movie made by maniacs who have nothing less than the goal of decimating your sanity. View this movie at your own peril.

This movie has so many insane ideas, it's difficult to summarize them. From learning that demons primarily eat hot coals to the fact that every child that works for Santa must wear a racist costume that denotes their country of origin (all Japanese children wear kimonos, all Americans are cowboys), this is a movie brimming with barely concealed menace.

But here's what's really weird - even though Santa has made all of his children codified by country, none of them know anything about he countries they come from. What is happening?

This is a movie that explains how Santa can be everywhere at once: he is from the Fifth Dimension and as we all know from reading Grant Morrison comics, that is the dimension of imagiantion. Therefore, as a Fifth Dimension being, Santa is able to transcend the reality of our dimension and do things that would break our minds were we to contemplate them too long - just like I am doing when I write this. I am putting your brain in danger right now by forcing you to reason with the fact that the physical properties that ground us in the Third Dimension can be pushed beyond the infinte. Merry Christmas.

Santa Claus can also feel physical pain when his mechanical manifestations are hit with rocks. This makes even less sense. Why, in a world where Lucifer constantly is trying to murder him, would Santa put himself in such mortal peril?

This is a movie that raises more questions than it does answers. You ask, "Where does Santa come from," knowing that he comes from the North Pole and are shocked to learn that everything you know - including the very way our universe and its laws are governed - is a lie. This is a movie made to keep children occupied, whether on TV or in the movie houses where it ranyearly for three decades, while parents try to get a merciful break. But a central point of the film is for parents to stop ignoring their children, so any child ignored in such a way will have to feel lost in the maelstrom of emotional pain that this movie wields like a scapel.

Ain't no sanity claus here. But Satan's claws are.

[mark.waltz · 2/10 · 20 December 2019]

This absolutely wretched Mexican made Christmas children's matinee is one of the strangest holiday films ever to come out in any form. While there are some pretty impressive sets and props, it is bizarre from start to finish, and they end up actually providing more nightmares than holiday joy. I saw the dubbed English version, and after prologue which deals with Santa introducing his little helpers basically children from all over the world gather together in sets stolen from Dr. Seuss's Dr. T. Sends one of his devil demons up to worth to prevent the children from being good so they will not get presents from Santa. It's interesting that the anagram of Santa and Satan (aka Pitch) are tied together in this film, presenting them as foes, but they are both in red.

Satan's blood red skin tight outfit looks like it is oozing off the actor in the costume which makes it all the more demonic to look at. Really, there isn't any plot, and much of the time show Santa simply reading letters, slipping some into a reject pile, when requesting a baby into the stork pile, and accepted ones in another pile. It's presented in its dubbed version as a semi documentary where narration comes out of nowhere after part of the action has already taken place, and that makes it all the more ridiculous. There are a couple of ballet segments as well that are extremely bizarre, and one involving large Raggedy Ann dolls is very spooky to look at.

I'm glad that I did not see this one as a child, finding it as part of public domain Christmas movies in a box set, and seeing it for the first time as an adult. That way I was able to look at it objectively as a film reviewer rather than a child or from the memory of a children's experience in being disturbed by reliving the memory. Even where the devil gets his due, it is still quite eerie, and a poor choice in taste for being made for children at a more innocent time. I can see why this is listed on the worst Christmas films of all time list, and after seeing it with "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians" and "The Day Christmas Almost Wasn't", I refer to these three as "Dante's Holiday Inferno".

Santa vs. Pitch: The Case of the Magical Movie from Mexico?

[pirate1_power · 4 December 2003]

How to explain the unusual 1959 feature from Mexico, wherein the Merriest Man on the Planet teams up with Merlin the Magician to defend the magic of Christmas against Ol' Sparky, a/k/a the Devil --- or, to be more accurate, his agent Pitch?

Well, for some reason, this film has its share of defenders. Recently, the website www.kgordonmurray.com was developed just for them, paying tribute as it does to the Miami-based entrepreneur who somehow acquired the U.S. rights to this strangely bizarre Santa Claus film from its Mexican-based producers. One would surmise that the all-Mexican cast and crew wanted to stress all the tenets associated with Mexico's perceptions of good versus evil; God (personified here by Santa) versus Satan (or, as the English-language version calls him, Lucifer, King of Hades), again in the person of Pitch --- Well, really, the whole thing was put together by people who simply had no clue as to Santa's primary concepts!

Adding Merlin the Magician (direct from King Arthur's Court) and giving him a special place in Santa's heavenly castle might have worked wonders for the screenwriters, but purists of Camelot and its ilk will certainly ask what in thunder Merlin's doing in a movie about Santa Claus. And what is all this business with magical flowers, and even magic cocktails anyway? The idea of getting drunk to be with the ones you love sounds a bit twisted in my book --- but, as they say, to each his own.

Then we turn to Lupita, the little girl who seems obsessed with being good. OK, it's good to want to be good, but even behaving positively can at times be taken to extremes, as we obviously see here. Pitch makes every effort to seduce her into doing bad things, but at this point it becomes clear that she will not be moved. One has to wonder why. Lucifer has, after all, threatened Pitch that if he fails in his mission against St. Nick, he'll be fed chocolate ice cream (which is fun, but it doesn't exactly classify as a so-called 'punishment'.

Look, the bottom lime here is that this silly film is a laugh riot. How we giggle and guffaw at this film each time we view it is beyond analysis. Just enjoy the darn movie, and laugh yourself a merry (albeit bizarre) little Christmas. Now.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!

[Torgo_Approves · 1/10 · 30 December 2006]

Some might say something like "Baby Geniuses" with its giant robot infants or "Dumbo" with its psychedelic drug-addled nightmare sequence would win the award for the most disturbing movie ever made for children. You might say that too, but you'd be wrong. Lo and behold, for I bring to you: Santa Claus, the most helplessly messed up family film since ... well, ever.

From the opening scenes showing children from different parts of the world singing their insipid theme songs (seriously, this segment is nearly 20 freakin' minutes long and has nothing to do with the plot!) to the thrilling conclusion in which Merlin pops up from outta nowhere and saves the day (don't mind him, he's from Barcelona), this is childhood trauma at its finest. And no matter how hard I try, no matter how many different therapists I visit, I just... can't... get... those... reindeer's...laughter...out... of... my ... head!

Avoid this mind-bending piece of trash like you'd avoid a sex-starved whale during mating season. Still, if flaming gay demons with a serious case of the overacting flu are something for you, I guess you should give it a try. But really, this movie isn't worth your time and mental health.

Creepy and strange, but quite entertaining

[TheLittleSongbird · 5/10 · 1 March 2011]

Santa Claus is not as bad a film as its reputation suggests, in fact I quite enjoyed it despite the obvious flaws. Is it a good movie? Not really. Is it entertaining? I think so. And I think it is better than Santa Claus Conquers the Martians which was hysterically bad but somewhat a must-see just to revel in its awfulness.

To say that Santa Claus is strange is an understatement. The story is pretty much a shambles, with incoherent and disconnected scenes, and the writing is awful but makes me laugh, one of the few times when writing as bad as it is brings a smile to my face. The Devil himself looks very, very fake, while they do bastardise Santa Claus a bit. There are also some very night-marish images, as a child I got night-mares from the reindeer alone, as an adult I am not so scared any more but I do get the shivers even looking at them.

That said, it is better paced than Santa Claus Conquers the Martians, it has better effects I think(they're not great but they aren't appalling either) and sets and colours wise it is quite lavish. The film is a good length, it starts off quite well with some interesting songs, the climax is thrilling and while they are not great by any stretch of the imagination the actors look as though they are having a ball.

All in all, this is a very creepy and strange movie, but I was entertained. 5/10 Bethany Cox

the scariest horror film I've ever seen...oh, wait, this was a Christmas movie!

[Oosterhartbabe · 1/10 · 18 October 2005]

This has to be creepiest, most twisted holiday film that I've ever clapped eyes on, and that's saying something. I know that the Mexican people have some odd ideas about religion, mixing up ancient Aztec beliefs with traditional Christian theology. But their Day of the Dead isn't half as scary as their take on Santa Claus.

So..Santa isn't some jolly, fat red-suited alcoholic(take a look at those rosy cheeks sometime!). Rather, he's a skinny sociopathic pedophile living in Heaven(or the heavens, whichever), with a bunch of kids who work harder than the one's in Kathy Lee Gifford's sweat shops. They sing oh-so-cute traditional songs of their homelands while wearing clothing so stereotypical that i was surprised there wasn't a little African-American boy in black face singing 'Mammy'. This Santa is a Peeping Tom pervert who watches and listens to everything that everybody does from his 'eye in the sky'. This is so he can tell who's been naughty or nice(with an emphasis on those who are naughty, I'd bet).

There's no Mrs. Claus, no elves(what does he need elves for when he's got child labor?) and the reindeer are mechanical wind-up toys! This floating freak show hovers on a cloud, presumably held up by its silver lining.

Santa's nemesis is...the Devil?! What is this, Santa our Lord and Savior? Weird. Anyhoo, Satan sends one of his minions, a mincing, prancing devil named Pitch, to try to screw up Christmas. Let me get this straight-the forces of purest evil are trying to ruin a completely commercial and greed driven holiday? Seems kind of redundant, doesn't it?

Pitch is totally ineffectual. He tries to talk some children into being bad, but doesn't have much luck. I was strongly struck by the storyline of the saintly little girl Lupe, who's family is very poor. All that she wants is a doll for Christmas, but he parents can't afford to buy her one(they spent all of their money on the cardboard that they built their house out of). So Pitch tries to encourage her to steal a doll. In reality, that's the only way that a girl that poor would ever get a doll, because being saintly and praying to God and holy Santa doesn't really work. But Lupe resists temptation and tells Pitch to get thee behind her, and so is rewarded by being given a doll so creepy looking that you just know that it's Chucky's sister.

Along the way Pitch manages to get Santa stuck in a tree(uh-huh) from whence he's rescued by Merlin! Merlin? You have got to be kidding me! Since when do mythical Druidic figures appear in Christmas tales, or have anything to do with a Christian religion? And doesn't God disapprove of magic? They'd have been burning Merlin at the stake a few hundred years ago, not asking him to come to the rescue of one of God's Aspects(or that's what I assume Santa must be, to be going up against Satan). This movie is one long HUH? from start to finish, and it'll make you wonder if that eggnog you drank wasn't spiked or something. Probably it was, since this movie is like one long giant DT.

Jeez RD wasn't kidding....

[Dielanbomb · 1/10 · 22 December 2002]

All right I recently got a chance to rent this and watch Santa Claus conquers the martains. Although the children were much more sadistic in SCCTM, I would have to say that Santa Claus was a much worse movie. As a spanish assignment in Spanish 5 we all had to watch it. I'll tell you, usually when we watch a movie we are all just talking and eating food, but not for this movie. Everyone just kept there jaw open wondering what the evil Mr. Pitch was going to do next. Would Merlin help Santa Claus!?! or would his robot reindeer come and save the day? I would suggest renting it because it is the biggest piece of rubbish I have ever seen and I love it for that. :D

The Worst Film Ever?

[Welly-2 · 1/10 · 28 December 1998]

This film is awful. Give me the dentist anytime! Can you believe that one of the main TV stations here in Arabia had this as their Christmas film! I can only assume they expected to entertain the crowds with Dudley Moore rather than this. The last time I looked at my hot water bottle it had more acting, better plot, more drama and a lot more interest than this waste of celluloid. Don't even watch it if you're drunk!

Santa Claus Conquers the Devil

[richardchatten · 5/10 · 25 December 2022]

Why this harmless little trifle has incurred such odium is beyond me; it's vastly superior to 'Santa Claus Conquers the Martians' and even that's better than it's reputation.

Prettily staged in Eastmancolor, the high production values (Santa inhabits a truly vast Arabian Nights palace of gold & crystal up in the clouds - rather than on the North Pole - from which he spies on the world through a telescope that extends an eye resembling the Martian periscope in 'The War of the Worlds') which I suspect were standing sets from a much grander production.

Santa as depicted has a tendency to laugh maniacally and he spends the first ten minutes pounding on an organ as the master of ceremonies on some sort of Eurovision Song Contest for kiddies.

So far, so good, but when he starts his annual round on a sleigh pulled by mechanical reindeer in Mexico City it seriously bogs down when he encounters problems with an agent of Lucifer with horns and enormous ears who rubs his hands with glee as he goes about his nefarious business (at the rate Santa's going he wouldn't have completed his tasks that year).

The film would be much better had it devoted more time to charming little waif Lupita Quezandis, first seen staring wide-eyed at the window of a toy shop and later at the centre of a truly extraordinary dream sequence depicting life-size mechanical Russian dolls dancing in a cloud of dry ice to the accompaniment of saxophones.

Have Looked Everywhere For This Film

[jtovarbiz · 9/10 · 14 December 2008]

My mother took me to see this film as a child and I long to see it every year as I do all of my other Christmas favorites. What I remember most was the silly Devil and Santa looking through his telescope. I waited and looked through the T.V. Guide each year after that to see when it would be shown. I would usually find it playing on a Saturday afternoon. I only found the movie in English which took something special away from the film and have longed to find a copy of it in Spanish. I hold this film dear to my heart and have never suffered from nightmares as others might suggest. Yes, it is a different film about Santa Claus and that is what makes it special and unique. I can't wait to get a copy of this film and watch it with my children as I explain to them my favorite parts and memories!!

Defending this Santa Claus movie

[Pencho15 · 6/10 · 26 December 2011]

This film is a Mexican Christmas classic, each December 24th it is aired on television in my country for the joy of small children, and many Mexicans like me watched it and have fond memories of it. When I looked for it at IMDb I got an enormous surprise finding out it was listed as one of the worst 100 movies in history, but my surprise turned to disappointment when I saw the reasons for its bad reputation. It turns out the rights for this movie were bought by an American producer to exhibit it on his country, for what I read this man, K. Gordon Murray, was not particularly good with the way he treated those films, he created badly done dubbed versions, edited them as he pleased without respect for the original film and took no notice about the quality of the process. This U.S. version has been seen by many persons in that country and it has a big responsibility in the bad reputation of the film, which is unfairly judged based on a different version of the original. Also and worst of all is that for everything that I've read It seems this movie has been judged based on the United States Folklore, and not on the Mexican culture in which it was born. Many reviews criticize this based on the fact that it is a version that does not conform to the U.S. version of the character, like if that version was unique and inalterable, well here is a surprise for You, it's not, and if you are watching this film first you have to understand that, the traditions it shows are from another culture and therefore, while they have similarities they also have differences. The creators of the movie made it only for Mexican children and they never thought it could be distributed to another place. Please consider this before making harsh judgments of the film.

With this points clarified here's a quick summary of the film, the original Mexican film which is the one that should be reviewed as it is not fair that this is trashed on the grounds of a crappy edition made by an irresponsible distributor. The plot is rather simple, it is Christmas Eve and Santa Claus is getting ready to fulfill his yearly mission of delivering presents to the good kids in the world. But at the same time in Hell, Satan himself sends a devil called "Precio" to stop him. Once in earth the story focuses on five Mexican children: a poor girl that wishes to have a rag doll, a rich boy that wishes to have his parents alongside him because he is lonely and a group of three spoiled boys that think they can get away with having presents despite being bad all year; while the stories of these children develop we see Santa struggling to overcome the attempts of Precio to stop him and, while for a moment it seems that the envoy of hell will beat Santa, like in every Christmas film we have a happy ending.

Now allow me to explain a few important things that have been said about this film based on the misguided ideas I mentioned above. The Devil against Santa Claus? Yes, this comes from a Mexican tradition called Pastorela which has its origins on the colonial epoch and it still exists today; pastorelas are simple plays whose ultimate end is evangelization, they show Satan trying to stop small groups of shepherds that are on their way to worship the newborn Jesus at Betlehem. In modern times different cultural elements like Santa himself have been added to the original tradition, but the root of the pastorela is religious and hence the important part of the devil. Christmas is a religious celebration and that is still very important in catholic latinoamerican countries.

Santa is a friend of Jesus? Why,of course. I thought this to be common knowledge but apparently it isn't so You just have to watch a documentary, read a book Or simply visit Wikipedia and you'll learn that the origin of Santa Claus is in Christianity and in the figure of Saint Nicholas. It wasn't útil the XIX century when the world famous version of the character started to take form and it didn't do it in a massive way until Coca-Cola used the character as part of an advertising campaign when it became the marketing figure it is today. In the United States you may have a very defined idea of how this character must be, but can't you accept that in other places it evolved in a different way closer to it's religious roots? Well that's what happened in Mexico and the film itself says in the introduction that Santa is no other than Saint Nicholas, that means a Christian saint. Now in catholic countries saints are very important figures, they serve as intermediaries between God and men, in this case rewarding kids that are good and punishing those that aren't. So as a Christian saint it makes perfect sense that Santa prays to Jesus and it makes much more sense that the devil is trying to stop him; he does this not just because he can, but because making Santa fail will prevent that he spreads his Christian message. Anyway these are the most important points I wanted to write about, because it is completely unfair that you trash this film because you don't understand its context or its message: judge it in base of its cinematographic merits and considering the audience it is aimed for, those are small children.

Considering this I can say Santa Claus is not a specially good film, it has bad acting, bad costumes, bad scenarios and it is very naive. But it achieves its goal to entertain kids and give them a nice moral message. Is it a bad film? Yes. Does it deserve to be at the bottom 100? Absolutely no.

A movie so strange it has to be seen to believe.

[TOMNEL · 1/10 · 21 August 2007]

Before I'd seen this, I had seen some pretty bad Christmas films. But once I saw this, "Jingle All the Way" looked better than "The Godfather". "Santa Claus" is a jolly film about Santa helping out some kids, but it almost feels demonic watching it. Santa's jolly ho-ho-ho is replaces by an evil, devilish laugh that I'm sure has turned many kids off of Christmas. The plot of this massacre is very strange, which fits along with all of the performances and dialog. Santa lives high above Earth in the North Pole where he, and kids from all around the world get ready for Christmas. But Santa has an enemy named Pitch, or Satan. Pitch tries to ruin Santa's Christmas by making three boys naughty, and by creating diversions, like moving the chimney and making the doorknob hot. When Pitch causes Santa to be attacked by a dog, it's up to Santa's helper Pedro and Merlin the wizard to get Santa out of this pickle.

Everything about this film, along with being downright bad, is so bizarre. Satan dances a lot and he actually seems much more merry than Santa. Santa talks about delivering presents to all the boys and girls, yet he seems to only deliver to 5 houses of kids in Mexico. The reindeer are wind up toys, and when the reindeer laughs, I'm amazed it doesn't bring tears to kid's eyes...it's frightening. Everything is terrible. The first 10 minutes are simply Santa playing the organ while kids sing to it. Probably one of the strangest scenes is Santa shooting Pitch in the butt with a mini-cannon and uproariously laughing about it while Pitch dances around in pain. I think parents are better off telling their little kids about where babies come from, than showing them this. The only positive is it will have you laughing hysterically if you can appreciate bad cinema.

My rating: BOMB/****. 85 mins.

Gather the relatives, kidnap the nieghbors, everybody will enjoy this one.

[boris-26 · 22 November 2001]

Put this on the VCR on Christmas day, and let people gather round the boob tube. Have them gawk at the crazy, silly wonder at this Mexican produced version of St. Nick, and fun will seep in like vodka spiced egg-nog!

Santa lives in space with little kids and a senile magician (Mrs. Claus probably filed for divorce decades ago!) He uses listening devices (made up of applainces and human organs. I am not kidding!!!) to spy on children on earth. he also pauses to watch a frightening puppet show, a Mexican glamour gal go shopping, etc. etc. Then we meet Santa's enemy- Pitch. Pitch is a prissy devil who dances alot, complains of stomach cramps, and uses wild hand gestures when he talks. Pitch has to destroy Christmas or Satan will make his ulcer worse!

The plot gets crazier when Santa moonlights as a bartender, children have dreams that look like cheaply rendered LSD trips (with nagging dolls, parents that arrive in coffin-like boxes) I am not making any

of this up. This is possibly the strangest Christmas movie ever made. Box up that CD of old Chrsitmas caroles. This Christmas, this loopy wonder should be on your TV.

A Mexican "fever dream" of a kid's Christmas movie, made by people who hate children

[lemon_magic · 3/10 · 26 June 2005]

"Santa Claus" appears to be of those whacked out K. Gordon Murray hybrid specials. Murray would buy some silly hack product from South American film studios and then hire some more hacks to edit the living crap out of it and dub a "second version" of the movie in English on top of the original sound track.

The "English Version" guys wouldn't just try to translate the lines. Oh no, they were far more ambitious; they apparently thought that they could improve on the script in some manner. So frequently, what we hear on screen does not have all that much to do with what the original version of the film was all about. Similarly ,sometimes even what we SEE has been vastly altered - the order or sequences or length of scenes would be changed, footage would be dropped, even brand new footage from OTHER movies would be mixed in. As a result, these altered 'English Version' movies often undergo a strange 'sea change' from the original Spanish version; tone, pacing, structure or even the story that is being told would be quite different.

Since the intent of the original footage is so out of sync and at odds with what you are watching, the resulting effect on the viewer is seldom desirable. You tend to feel as if you just downed a bottle of cough syrup, a quart of Hagen Daze, and several shots of peppermint schnapps; and then you drank 5 cups of coffee to offset all of the previous stuff; and THEN you had to watch a crappy children's film made by people who have nothing but contempt for children.

That certainly seems to be the case with "Santa Claus". As weird as the original version of this film probably was, what with the wind up reindeer, and Pitch, and Merlin, and the Chucky doll factotum in the cowboy hat, and the "Rolling Stones" giant lips on the wall and the radar dish with the human ear in the center...you can just lump that all into the category of 'cultural differences'. I am pretty sure that the original version was a harmless, if somewhat trippy, kid's film. But once the "English Version" editors got done with it, the results defied description.

For one thing, it is pretty obvious that whoever did the children's voices for the English version read their lines straight off cards; there isn't even an attempt at appropriate inflections, rhythms, emotions, or interplay. They all could be reciting "Mary Had A Little Lamb" at a kindergarten recital. Apparently if the kid read through the line without stuttering or choking, the editors called it good.

For another, the English version guys decided to turn the movie into a "Mystery Play", so they crammed in a Narrator Voice-over/Greek Chorus guy to comment on the action. You know, in case the audience was too stupid or inattentive to figure out what was happening on screen, like when Santa shot Pitch in the butt with a toy dart. And I promise you, Barney the Purple Dinosaur would turn to the camera and ask him to "turn it down to 11, OK?" . The Teletubbies would stop what they were doing to tell this guy to SHUT UP ALREADY.

And whoever did the English version of "Santa Claus" voice deserves special commendation for assaulting our ears with the fruitiest spoken Baritone voice since Dudly Do-Right of the Mounted Police (a comparison that is actually unfair to that fine old cartoon character.)

I don't actually hate this movie. It's too weird and incoherent and structurally messed up and simple minded to hate, and anyway, it's still obviously aimed at children, not adults. But man, it's a tough, gristly thing for any viewer over the age of 6 to choke down. I wouldn't inflict it on my nieces and nephews unless I had a copy of "Bambi" or "Hercules" to soothe the damage from this movie.

Gave me nightmares

[preppy-3 · 1/10 · 25 July 2006]

When I was kid back in the 1970s a local theatre had Children's Matinees every Saturday and Sunday afternoon (anybody remember those?). They showed this thing one year around Christmas time. Me and some friends went to see it. We expected a cool Santa Claus movie. We stumbled out 90 minutes later totally numb and frightened to death! This is a terribly dubbed (you can tell) and truly creepy movie.

Something about Santa Claus and Merlin the Magician (don't ask me what those two are doing in the same movie) fighting Satan (some joker in a silly devil costume complete with horns!). The images had me cringing in my seat. I always found Santa spooky to begin with so that didn't help. The guy in the Satan suit was even worse. But what REALLY horrified me were the wooden reindeers that pulled Santa's sled. When he wound them up and the creepy sound they made and the movements--I remember having nightmares about those things! All these years later I still remember walking out of that theatre more than a little disturbed by what I saw. My friends were sort of frightened by it too. I just saw an ad for it on TV and ALL those nightmares came roaring back. This is a creepy, disturbing little Christmas film that will probably scare the pants off any little kid who sees it and put them in therapy for YEARS! This gets a 1.

UPDATE: I just saw the movie again tonight. It's stupid, poorly done, childish and just plain surreal! The creepy imagery is still there too! The parts that got me (aside from those nightmare-inducing reindeers) was Santa's observatory (don't ask) which has a telescope where a big EYE comes out of and moves around! Then there's a HUGE mouth in the wall that moves and speaks! The scenes with those things sparked something deep in me and I briefly felt afraid--but I can deal with it now. Again--do NOT let your children see this film--unless you REALLY want to punish them.

A Christmas film that's even worse than "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians" or "Santa With Muscles"!

[planktonrules · 1/10 · 31 January 2010]

This Santa movie starts off strange and I think Santa might be a pedo. Instead of the usual elf toy makers, this Santa has apparently kidnapped kids from all across the globe and makes them sing a bit like characters from "It's a Small World"! I guess there are no child labor laws on the weird astral plane on which he lives (it's apparently NOT the North Pole and not on Earth)!! None of these kids seem very happy and I kept wanting to see commandos break in and rescue the tykes, though I guess for some of the third world kids, these working conditions were perhaps an improvement over local sweatshops. I sure hope that all they do is sing and make toys.

Then, the scene abruptly changes to Hell where lots and lots of demons dance about like they are in a Busby Berkeley musical. This fun in put to a stop by Satan who orders one of them, Pitch, to go to Earth to ruin Christmas!! Personally, I thought this movie already did that! The Devil and his imps are actually kind of cute--like Hot Stuff from the Harvey Comics but with cool evil goatees! Or, if you are Puerto Rican, like a vejigante mask with a goatee!

Somehow a poverty-stricken Mexican kid named Lupita, a group of jerky kids who want to mug Santa and some rich kid are key battlegrounds for the Devil and Santa!! So, if the Prince of Darkness (not Donald Trump, it's the OTHER Prince of Darkness) can somehow make her steal and be bad, he'll 'win'--what, we don't really know! In fact, as they root her on, you get the impression that the film makers intend Santa to be Jesus--as he has all these great powers AND fights the Devil over kids' souls! Later, Santa meets with his friend, Merlin. He asks him to make him a special powder that makes people dream nice dreams. Considering how much Santa laughs in the film (like a demented chipmunk), I assume he must use this drug A LOT! He immediately goes to see a blacksmith who makes him a magic key that opens ALL doors. Considering he keeps kids as his personal 'assistants', this magic key thing worries me immensely! During Santa's Christmas Eve ride, you see Lupita behave like a little angel--one problem down. Santa then takes time out now to take care of the rich kid whose parents are selfish jerks. He gives them some sort of crazy cocktail which magically solves their problems--two problems solved. This is a rare case where alcohol/drugs HELP kids and solves problems! And as for the little muggers, he gives them coal! Frustrated with his losses to Santa, Pitch then tries to steal the sleigh (which is pulled by creepy animatronic deer). When this fails, he destroys Santa's stash of 'magic powder'! As a result, Santa can't become invisible to avoid dogs and gets treed. Uh, oh...how can Santa take a detour to the Betty Ford Clinic if he's stuck up a tree?! Will St. Nick get down from the tree and get the monkey off his back or will the devils win? If you care, tune in and see. However, be warned that the film is bat-crap crazy!

Technically speaking, the film is yecchy. While it is in color, it's really gaudy. The music is mostly done on an organ--which, along with bad singing from the kids, produces perhaps the worst soundtrack I've heard in recent memory. And the story is just incomprehensible and very, very, very creepy. Devils and a Santa that kidnaps kids is just plain creep-tastic. It's a film you should NEVER show to kids but makes a great film to watch with friends so you can laugh at it from start to finish!

The nightmare that lasts throughout Christmas

[benjaminweber · 1/10 · 30 November 2017]

Where to begin with this one? Others have already brought up so many points, so I'll stick with the nightmare imagery. For instance, early on we see Santa's observatory, that he uses to watch children while they sleep. This would not be so bad, Santa is noted for watching all the children of the world, if it wasn't for the huge bizarre-looking face sticking out of the wall, or the ear stuck to a colander to listen to people on Earth.

Next, there are Santa's reindeer. At first, this looks like it will be a slightly more modern take on the reindeer, especially given the release date of 1959, by having them as mechanical reindeer powering his sleigh. Then he starts them up, and their eyes open and start to move around. I was expecting them to all start screaming, having been awoken once more to the clockwork nightmare of their existence, trapped in nearly immobile metal bodies perpetually bound to a sleigh. Arguably what actually happens is worse, when one of them stares directly into the camera for several seconds emitting a terrifying laughing sound.

There are other moments as well, such as Santa using a dangerous weapon he was delivering to a 'good' little boy to fight Pitch, but there isn't sufficient time to go into them all. This film has to be seen to be believed. You may have heard about Santa living with Merlin in outer space, or the racially insensitive multi-cultural slave children Santa has instead of elves, but nothing can quite prepare you for this film.

not bad

[gasman-ryan · 5/10 · 3 August 2010]

This movie is not all that bad if you compare it to Santa Claus Conquers The Martians. It has to be the most colourful movie to be shown on MST3K. The director wanted to make a fantasy movie and thats what he did but it is still a bad movie. A lot of the movies on the bottom 100 were just made for the money but this one was not. This film actually a very expensive to make seeing how it was made in colour. So how can a movie that is not that bad end up on lists of worst films ever? It still feels like a normal, run of the mill Christmas movie despite all it's bizarre moments. The strangest thing about this film is the inclusion of the devil and the fact that he wants to kill Santa and ruin Christmas. Its very much like The Grinch in that regard. Again if you think about it, it's not that bad of a movie.

really bad Santa

[tsf-1962 · 1/10 · 23 November 2006]

While "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians" is usually cited as one of the worse films ever made, this Mexican-made film from 1959 is so bad it makes "SCCM" look like "It's a Wonderful Life." You have to wonder what the people who made this film were thinking; perhaps they meant it as a third-world allegory about capitalist greed and conspicuous consumption. Nah . . . They just weren't very good. The same production company made an even more disturbing version of "Little Red Riding Hood" in which the wolf's obsession with our heroine has unmistakable hints of pedophilia. (Perhaps this was the inspiration for "Freeway.") Back to "Santa Claus": instead of the North Pole, Jolly Old Saint Nicholas resides in a satellite in geosynchronous earth orbit (shades of "MST3K"); instead of elves his toys are made by children chosen from around the world; and he had sophisticated spy equipment to check just which kids are naughty and nice. The result is like an Orwellian outer space sweat shop. It's enough to turn you off Christmas forever. This and other low-rent Mexican children's' films were dubbed in English and widely distributed in the U.S. in the early 1960s; no wonder the sixties became such a turbulent period in American history. The baby boomers who were forced to endure these "family" films as children would be all too eager to turn revolutionary.

* Truly Bad Xmas Movie!

[dweilermg-1 · 1/10 · 12 July 2020]

Only very young children no older than 6 or 7 can enjoy this matinee monstrosity. At least "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians" & "Ernest Saves Christmas" are good for laughs but this 1959 Santa Claus dubbed into English is terrible leaving older viewers wondering why they wasted time and money at the theater. BTW the clue that it is a Spanish language film dubbed into English is when you see FELIZ NAVIDAD banner on the toy store window display.

This movie is sheer genius.

[itsbaylis · 10/10 · 10 September 2007]

It's the most unbelievably nonsensical movie I've ever seen. I have only watched this ripped apart by MST3K, so I can't talk about it 'clean' so to speak.

However, I get the impression it would be just as funny, and possibly even more disturbing. If this film doesn't put your kids off Santa, I don't know what will, as he appears to hold to slave labour and has spying equipment the CIA would kill for.

The entire film is a weird Christian centred movie, with a very creepy Santa (who thinks people on Earth eat smoke. Incidentally where the hell is he supposed to live, exactly?) fighting a devil called Pitch, who is the most unbelievably camp villain I think I've ever seen. After Santa makes some weird wishy-washy comment about Jesus (seriously, what the hell?) he takes off for earth after his child slaves load up the sleigh. The kids are, by the way, the most horrifically stereotyped examples from various countries and continents, including some which I'm sure aren't huge on the whole Christmas thing...

The rest of the film makes even less sense. There's some really disturbing giant dolls and a horrifically saccharine little girl who is really just....horrible. She's not cute, she's sugary vileness of the highest degree.

A truly disturbing film in many ways, but absolutely hilarious from start to finish.

Ridiculous, but fun

[elisereid-29666 · 7/10 · 24 May 2020]

When I was a little kid, I was in the habit of seeing every movie I could get my hands on. I don't remember how, but somehow I ended up with a VHS copy of this movie, and thought it the most bizarre thing I'd seen in all of my six years. Back then, I had no taste for strangeness, so I found it boring and put it aside and didn't think of it again for many years.

Flash forward twenty years. I'm a big fan of MST3K, and a lover of many so-called "bad movies". Cinematic weirdness is my way of life. So I decided to give this one a shot again. It's strange how I can see how I've evolved, in comparing my reactions during the two periods in which I was familiar with this film.

All of the highlights of the film involve the demon Pitch, sent to Earth to...seemingly do little more than frustrate Santa Claus slightly. Or at least that's what he's competent enough to do in the film. You'd think Satan would have more reliable deputies. He manages to turn three little boys against Santa, and plays some strange pranks on him, all while prancing around the sets to goofball music in a way that was probably meant to be mildly funny for children, but turns out to be unintentionally hilarious for adult bad movie buffs like me.

This is really only a "bad" movie if you choose to take it seriously. There is a strange ridiculousness to it that is unlike anything I've ever seen in a movie that will leave "normal" audiences in the 21st century befuddled, while leaving those of us with a taste for the bizarre in hysterics. So if you go into it looking for a typical, moralistic children's Christmas movie, you will likely be scratching your head and saying "huh?", but if you like your Christmas movies with a side order of weird, you won't be disappointed.

I watch it every year but it still rates a "1".

[kimcoxmonm · 1/10 · 16 December 2021]

Every year, I watch the usual Christmas classics from "It's A Wonderful Life", "Miracle on 34th St.", "The Christmas Story", "Home Alone 1 and 2", "Christmas Vacation", et al. Then.....I have to watch the schlocky, cringefests like this and "Santa vs. The Martians".

It is so BAD but it is appealing in a demented way. Everything about it stinks up the place but it kind of has a moral to it. When you're a kid, you know you're not suppose to look directly at the sun but you do it anyway.

The scenes where the children are singing and representing their respective countries is so funny and cute except it's not acceptable by todays standards, well, it never was. It was a different time. In my opinion, you don't cancel the past, you learn and grow from it. You can't understand what other cultures dealt with, and still do, if you're willfully ignorant of it.

I will be watching it again, laughing at it's absurdity and thinking, "not as bad as the sugary sh** they play ad nauseam on Hallmark".

Let your mind channel MST3K, it's more fun that way.