- Horace Debussy 'Sach' Jones: What about me?
- Terence Aloysius 'Slip' Mahoney: You stay here. If ya get in any trouble, whistle.
- Horace Debussy 'Sach' Jones: How do you whistle?
- Terence Aloysius 'Slip' Mahoney: Just pucker your lips and... I'll bash dem in.
- Louie Dumbrowsky: What... what does a ghost want with $100?
- Chuck: [as Uncle Jake] Traveling expenses.
- Louie Dumbrowsky: Traveling expenses? You must be going by cab.
- Madame Zola: I run my own business! I take orders from no one!
- Terence Aloysius 'Slip' Mahoney: [mimicking] "I run my own business; I take order from no one."
- [goes to the phone]
- Terence Aloysius 'Slip' Mahoney: Well, maybe you'd like to take orders from the D.A.
- Terence Aloysius 'Slip' Mahoney: [slips a $100 into Mrs. Parelli's apron pocket snd takes it out] So you told her you couldn't get the money, huh? Well, um... what's this, cold sausage?
- Louie Dumbrowsky: [at seance] Hellah... H-hello, Uncle Jake. You look better now than you did when you were alive. How is business down there... I mean... up there?
- Madame Zola: Oh, don't turn me in. I... I'm just a poor old lady trying to make a living.
- Terence Aloysius 'Slip' Mahoney: Well that makes us even. I'm just a poor old man tryin' to make a livin'.
- [first lines]
- Terence Aloysius 'Slip' Mahoney: You gotta remember, Cynthia, dat your voibal denunciation must be in accordance with your facial destruction. Foidamore, you must applicate pear-shaped tones.
- Terence Aloysius 'Slip' Mahoney: Hmm. So dis is where de great Margo makes her habitute.
- Horace Debussy 'Sach' Jones: Exactly.
- Terence Aloysius 'Slip' Mahoney: Remember, Louie, if Margo asks you what side of the cardiac you was born under, tell her you're a Sagentaria.
- Louie Dumbrowsky: [as Slip decides to look into the spiritualism racket] You think you could make him talk from wherever he is?
- Terence Aloysius 'Slip' Mahoney: I don't know. If your thought waves are synthetic with his, I think it can be done - dat is if you were born on the right bicuspid.
- Terence Aloysius 'Slip' Mahoney: Well, if you don't wanna get in touch with your old poor Uncle Jake, dat's your business, but my female institution tells me that he could steer you into a fortune. Maybe a million. Oh, well, let's forget the whole thing.
- Louie Dumbrowsky: Slip, how can I forget "the whole thing" when you put the state of doubt in me?
- Terence Aloysius 'Slip' Mahoney: You mean you'll submit to a see-ance?
- Louie Dumbrowsky: In my financial condition, I'll submit to ANYTHING - except... a tax investigation.
- Terence Aloysius 'Slip' Mahoney: Okay, boys, let's go into the inner sanction and set up the see-ance equipment!
- Terence Aloysius 'Slip' Mahoney: Mama, that's absolutely pre-prosperous. You can't talk to people that are... well, uh... dead - dat is, not unless they've been... re-incarcerated.
- Terence Aloysius 'Slip' Mahoney: [as the gang tries to revive Louie] Maybe you oughta give him a little artificial perspiration!
- Cynthia: [answering phone] Louie's Sweet Shop, where the elite meet to eat their sweets.
- Horace Debussy 'Sach' Jones: [impersonating Clark Gable] Cynthia, fair maid, your hero's held captive in yon tower of Throwbridge Estate.
- Cynthia: How's that?
- Horace Debussy 'Sach' Jones: [dropping accent] Cynthia, this is your platonic enemy Sach.
- Cynthia: Sach, you moron.
- Horace Debussy 'Sach' Jones: Cynthia, you idiot. How now brown cow.
- Cynthia: What happened?
- Horace Debussy 'Sach' Jones: [donning accent once again] Call out the militia and march on yon tower of Throwbridge Estate or your swain shall be put to the sword.
- [Louie lies unconscious]
- Terence Aloysius 'Slip' Mahoney: What'd you do to Louie?
- Chuck: Nothin', Slip. We were only playin' a little joke on Whitey.
- Butch: Just tryin' a little experiment in spiritualism.
- Terence Aloysius 'Slip' Mahoney: For a minute I thought maybe you paid him the money we owed him.
- ["This card identifies WITMORE WILLIAMS as a member in good standing of the United Mediums of Greater New York"]
- Whitmore 'Whitey' Williams: Dat's my membership card, and I'm gonna go tonight, and for bein' such a loyal friend, I think I can fix it up so you can go wit' me.
- Horace Debussy 'Sach' Jones: Gee, that's wonderful, Whitey, and if I ever become a ghost, I'm gonna give you all my business.
- Horace Debussy 'Sach' Jones: I got a lighter but it's outta fluid.
- Terence Aloysius 'Slip' Mahoney: I think your brain is outta fluid.
- Horace Debussy 'Sach' Jones: HI ya, Chief. Whatta ya doin'?
- Terence Aloysius 'Slip' Mahoney: I was just givin' Cynthia her electrocution lessons.