- Ethel Huggett, Mother: She's a bit more developed than I expected, I admit.
- Joe Huggett, Father: Developed? She's overexposed!
- Ethel Huggett, Mother: You needn't keep on about it. It can't last much longer.
- Joe Huggett, Father: That's what you said when the war broke out. That went on for six years.
- Ethel Huggett, Mother: She's only been here a week.
- Joe Huggett, Father: That's eight days too long for me.
- Joe Huggett, Father: What about her job?
- Ethel Huggett, Mother: She hasn't got one. '
- Joe Huggett, Father: Hadn't she? Why not?
- Ethel Huggett, Mother: She's looking around for something, she says.
- Joe Huggett, Father: How? Out of the bedroom window?
- Ethel Huggett, Mother: Mr. Huggett's always up to something in here. He's very handy with his tools.
- Ethel Huggett, Mother: Here's a letter from cousin Edith. She's got to go into hospital tomorrow to have an operation.
- Joe Huggett, Father: Not on her mouth, by any chance?
- Harold Hinchley: By the way, are you interested in sex, Miss Huggett?
- Jane Huggett: What?
- Harold Hinchley: Purely in study, of course.
- Jane Huggett: Well, I - I don't know, really. I haven't really thought about it much.
- Harold Hinchley: Oh, you should have. Everyone should. It's because they don't that our lives are so full of tragedy and misunderstanding.
- Jane Huggett: Really?
- Harold Hinchley: Oh, yes. And it's a - a fascinating study. You're just at the right age to appreciate it, Miss Huggett.
- Jane Huggett: Am I?
- Harold Hinchley: Yes. I've been watching you for some months now. You have an unusual nature.
- Ethel Huggett, Mother: I'm trying to give Edie a helping hand.
- Joe Huggett, Father: If you ask me, it's Diana who needs a helping hand - in the proper place. And I'd like to do it.
- Peter Hawtry: I can hardly believe it. Why should a girl like Diana look at your father?
- Pet Huggett: Some girls like men with one foot in the grave.
- Grandma Huggett: I suppose you all thought I was dead.
- Ethel Huggett, Mother: No, of course not.
- Grandma Huggett: Well, I might as well have been dead, for all the notice anybody ever takes of me.
- Ethel Huggett, Mother: Oh. How are you dear?
- Grandma Huggett: All right.
- Pet Huggett: [singing] So, when there's trouble around your way, Just try walking backwards all the day...
- Mr. Campbell: You can't get a good beef steak to put on a black eye now these days either.
- Joe Huggett, Father: If I could get a steak, I wouldn't waste it on a black eye, sir.
- Peter Hawtry: I don't guarantee anything.
- Pet Huggett: You can do it if you try. I mean, be more masculine this time. Bend her to your will!
- Peter Hawtry: Bend her? Which way?
- Pet Huggett: Oh, it doesn't matter which way. Just bend her.