A Night in Casablanca (1946)
Groucho Marx: Kornblow
Photos
Quotes
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Ronald Kornblow : From now on the essence of this hotel will be speed. If a customer askes you for a three-minute egg, give it to him in two minutes. If he askes you for a two-minute egg, give it to him in one minute. If he askes you for a one-minute egg, give him the chicken and let him work it out for himself!
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Ronald Kornblow : You know, I think you're the most beautiful woman in the whole world.
Beatrice Rheiner : [eagerly] Do you really?
Ronald Kornblow : No, but I don't mind lying if it'll get me somewheres.
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Corbaccio : What you need is a good bodyguard.
Ronald Kornblow : What I need is a good body. The one I've got isn't worth guarding.
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Mr. Smythe : Sir, this lady is my wife. You should be ashamed.
Ronald Kornblow : If this lady is your wife, YOU should be ashamed.
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Beatrice Rheiner : I shall be in the Supper Club.
Ronald Kornblow : The Supper Club?
Beatrice Rheiner : Yes. Will you join me?
Ronald Kornblow : Why? Are you coming apart?
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Beatrice Rheiner : Oh, come on now. You wouldn't say no to a lady.
Ronald Kornblow : I don't know why not? They always say no to me.
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Corbaccio : I be-a you bodyguard! I watch-a you like a mother watches a baby!
Ronald Kornblow : Is the mother pretty?
Corbaccio : Why?
Ronald Kornblow : Well, if she is, you watch the baby, I'll watch the mother!
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Beatrice Rheiner : My name's Beatrice Rheiner. I stop at the hotel.
Ronald Kornblow : My name's Ronald Kornblow. I stop at nothing!
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Ronald Kornblow : After all, I'm a man and you're a woman... and I can't think of a better arrangement.
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Ronald Kornblow : Now there's a man with both feet on the ground... until they hang him.
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Ronald Kornblow : I don't mind being killed, but I resent hearing it from a character whose head comes to a point!
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Ronald Kornblow : How about getting rid of that mutt?
Beatrice Rheiner : Oh, Frou-Frou's a watchdog.
Ronald Kornblow : Well, let him watch somebody else.
Beatrice Rheiner : Oh, Frou-Frou won't bother us. He has such good manners.
Ronald Kornblow : If he had such good manners, he'd get off your lap and give me a seat. He can stand up better than I can, he's got twice as many legs.
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Ronald Kornblow : [Bea and Kornblow are playfully blowing smoke at each other] This is like living in Pittsburgh - if you can call that "living".
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Corbaccio : [the bottle of champagne they've just uncorked turns out to be empty] Hey, you cheap crook, that bottle's empty!
Ronald Kornblow : That's "dry" champagne!
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Ronald Kornblow : Shush. I don't wanna hear a word out of you!
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Ronald Kornblow : [just taken off in an airplane] Well, here we are flying in the air.
[stares into camera]
Ronald Kornblow : What a stupid remark that is.
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Annette : [Noticing a very disheveled Mr. Kornblow making his way back to the hotel] Good heavens, Mr. Kornblow, what happened?
Ronald Kornblow : What happened! I was stood up by a woman, and knocked down by a car. These Casablanca drivers are terrible! He missed me three times. I finally had to climb a palm tree, and he hit that instead.
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Ronald Kornblow : It's a funny thing. I've met a lot of pin-up girls, but I've never been able to pin one down.
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Ronald Kornblow : Call me Montgomery.
Beatrice Rheiner : Is that your name?
Ronald Kornblow : No. I'm just breaking it in for a friend.
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Ronald Kornblow : [as the new hotel manager, Groucho has asked what happened to a previous manager]
Governor Galoux : Monsieur! We caught him stealing money! We were forced to discharge him!
Ronald Kornblow : I see. You want a manager that doesn't steal money. Good day, gentlemen.
Ronald Kornblow : [tries to leave]
Prefect of Police Capt. Brizzard : [holds Kornblow back] Please Monsieur Kornblow do not take offense. You are making a mountain out of a molehill.
Ronald Kornblow : Well, that's quite a trick. You try that sometime.
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Ronald Kornblow : [as Beatrice Rheiner is leaving the room, with her back to the camera, and alluding to her hourglass figure] That reminds me, I must get my watch fixed.
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Ronald Kornblow : Do you rhumba?
Beatrice Rheiner : Yes.
Ronald Kornblow : Well I don't, but I'll walk around with you while you rhumba.
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Ronald Kornblow : Well, gentlemen, I'm a different man behind a desk - as any stenographer can tell you. But, uh, what I want to know, is why they're burying the last manager. And don't tell me it's because he's dead.
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Ronald Kornblow : [Talking to a hotel guest over the phone] Hello? What's that, sir? You've been up in your room three-and-a-half hours, and your trunks haven't arrived? Well, put your pants on. Nobody'll know the difference.
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Ronald Kornblow : The elevator is stuck between the fifth and sixth floors? This could only happen to me!