Nothing But the Truth (1941)

Bob Hope: Steve Bennett

Photos 

Quotes 

• Gwen Saunders : You hardly know us and yet you've taken a great delight in hurting everybody's feelings. Well, why don't you make a good job of it. Go on! Go on! Don't leave me out! I'm here. What would you like to do to me?

  Steve Bennett : I would like to kiss you 'til your ears fly off.

• Samuel : Hey, boss, I got a great big...

  Steve Bennett : Oh, why don't you fall overboard?

  Samuel : What a short Christmas.

• Linda Graham : But, Mr. Bennett, you're wearing my negligée.

  Steve Bennett : Much worse if I weren't Shhh! Stand by.

• Steve Bennett : [entering T.T. Ralston's office]  Why, T.T. - this is too-too!

• Steve Bennett : [checking the clock]  In six more hours it'll be Christmas.

  Samuel : Christmas? Is Mr. Roosevelt movin' them holidays around again?

• Samuel : [Examining picture]  Who these fellas with the big spoons or somethin'?

  Steve Bennett : [Looks over at picture]  Spoo... those are oars. That's my rowing team. Intercollegiate champs... '29, '30, and '32.

  Samuel : But what happened to '31?

  Steve Bennett : The judges found out where we hid the outboard motor. Snoops.

• Gwen Saunders : [waving 10 thousand dollar bills]  I'm so upset, I don't know what I'm doing. I've had these for 4 days. Pudgy doesn't know I've got them. Here you keep them.

  [hands cash to Steve] 

  Gwen Saunders : I've had them in two bags, in my safe deposit box, under my pillow, and in my stocking.

  [points at her leg] 

  Steve Bennett : [staring at leg]  Aren't you afraid of prowlers?

• Samuel : I'm unprepared for a weekend like this. All I brought was my suntan oil.

  Steve Bennett : Suntan oil, you're gilding the lily. What do you want with suntan oil?

  Samuel : I freckle.

• Steve Bennett : Oh, father time, get going. Get the lead out of your sarong.

• Steve Bennett : [kisses phone]  Telephone's a wonderful thing.

  Samuel : It ain't that wonderful.

  Steve Bennett : Oh, let me dream.

• Steve Bennett : [entering plush brokerage firm]  This is the office for me. The Taj Mahal with inkwells.

  Samuel : Taj Ma-who?

• Van : Do you think you're good-looking?

  Steve Bennett : Yes, in a manly sorta way...

  Van : You lose the bet!

  Steve Bennett : No, I don't lose. That's not a lie. That's an opinion. If I said YOU were good-looking - That'd be a lie.

• Steve Bennett : Yes sir, Sam, I'm really falling into something. No more worries, no responsibilities, no ulcers. People beg for that Ralston stock. All I'll have to do is come in the morning, put my feet up on the desk, rock back and go to sleep. Every once in a while, the door opens, a customer tiptoes in, takes a stock off the desk, leaves a check and tiptoes out.

  Samuel : Yep, but whose gonna get up and open the door for 'em?

  Steve Bennett : I don't know, but they're not going to make a drudge out of me.

• Steve Bennett : Still, this must be my office... it's too small for a telephone booth.

• Steve Bennett : [talking to his client on the phone]  Yes, sir. I'll call you the minute I've got something good.

  Gwen Saunders : [knocks and walks in to office]  Hello!

  Steve Bennett : I've got something. Goodbye.

  [hangs up phone] 

• Gwen Saunders : There isn't anyone in the world I could ask except Van and he wouldn't do it.

  Steve Bennett : Oh, he wouldn't, eh? Well that's just like him. Who is he?

• Gwen Saunders : [concerned about her 10 thousand dollar bills]  You mustn't mix it with your money.

  Steve Bennett : [Shakes the coins in his pocket]  No, I won't mix it with my money.

• Steve Bennett : [watching Van do push-ups]  I must remember to eat more raw meat.

• T.T. Ralston : What did you say?

  Steve Bennett : I don't chew my cabbage twice!

• Van : Why if a man set out to tell the truth for a whole day, before nightfall someone'd kill him.

  Dick Donnelly : Sure. Why all the diplomats of Europe would have to quit if that were the case.

  Steve Bennett : [puzzled]  Is that bad?

• T.T. Ralston : If you meet Smith on the street and ask "did you sleep well?" That's a lie. You don't give a hang if he never sleeps.

  Steve Bennett : Well, I do. Smith's a nice guy!

• Linda Graham : Now you're my husband, Humphrey. We've just separated, but I'm still mad about you!

  Steve Bennett : Oh, what are you mad about?

• Van : Steven, what you said to mother, it was nothing. Nothing at all. Forget it.

  Gwen Saunders : But, Van, your own mother! An old paper bag!

  Mr. Van Dusen : I think it's outrageous. Bennett... I can't find words!

  Steve Bennett : That, sir, is the trouble with your editorials.

• Mrs. Ralston : Mr. Bennett, the cat got your tongue? You haven't said very much and I've put you between two of Miami's most attractive women.

  Steve Bennett : [looks around]  Yes, you're right, I haven't said much.

• Van : Did you ever steal anything?

  Steve Bennett : Yes.

  Dick Donnelly : What did you steal?

  Steve Bennett : I stole some money.

  T.T. Ralston : Where did you steal it?

  Steve Bennett : From a bank.

  Dick Donnelly : How much money was it?

  Steve Bennett : A half a dollar.

  T.T. Ralston : You stole a half a dollar from a bank?

  Steve Bennett : Yes.

  Van : What bank was it?

  Steve Bennett : My little brother's piggy bank.

  Dick Donnelly : So you stole a half a dollar from your little brother's piggy bank. Is that all?

  Steve Bennett : That's all that was in it.

• Steve Bennett : [pulls himself together]  I don't have to explain things to you.

  [walks off] 

• Samuel : Why didn't you pack some extra pajamas for me?

  Steve Bennett : What about those striped ones I gave you last week?

  Samuel : Was those pajamas?

  [opens shirt and exposes striped pajamas] 

  Samuel : I thought they were underwear.

  Steve Bennett : Oh Sam, why don't you retire. Just pretend that suit you're wearing is a sleeping bag. Fact, you don't have to pretend. You're home.

• Steve Bennett : [hiding from Linda Graham in his office]  Hey Samuel, get some bricks and mortar. We're going to seal up this door. In the meantime, put a rat trap there.

• Steve Bennett : Good morning, Samuel!

  Samuel : Mornin'.

  Steve Bennett : You look radiant! Gainsborough should have painted you.

• Linda Graham : [as Steve barges through her bedroom]  This isn't the Lincoln highway!

  Steve Bennett : [as he heads to the ringing phone in his cabin]  I wish it was.

  Linda Graham : [finishing call, he comes through her cabin again]  You should have a motorcycle!

  Steve Bennett : It would slow me down.

• Steve Bennett : Well, distance is only a question of relativity as Einstein said. Now you take the caterpillar. From here to where Miss Saunders it would be about 20 miles to a caterpillar. Of course with you, it's different. You're no caterpillar or you wouldn't be wearing a double-breasted suit and that's nice.

  Mr. Bishop : Young man, I think you're a lunatic.

• Steve Bennett : Don't get so physical. I've got a brother who's a marine!

• Steve Bennett : Oh, the customers I have believe in me. I'm not kidding, they do. I can't sell 'em anything I don't believe in.

  Dick Donnelly : Has Ripley heard about him?

  ["Ripley's Believe It or Not"] 

• Dick Donnelly : Oh, give in, Bennett. The truth hurts. An attractive lie sounds infinitely better.

  Steve Bennett : Well, I'm entitled to my own opinion. I still think you can tell the truth.

• Steve Bennett : Oh, Mr. Bishop... Mr. Anderson... Mr. Stevens.

  Sailor : We're sailors.

• T.T. Ralston : A lie is the same as the truth if the result is all right.

  Steve Bennett : I'm afraid I disagree with you.

  Dick Donnelly : Take a page form the old master. Profit's the only thing in business.

  T.T. Ralston : And, in our business, profit is imagination. And imagination is seldom the truth. It's what you hope for.