Wife vs. Secretary (1936)

Clark Gable: Van Stanhope

Photos 

Quotes 

• Linda : Well, after all, Van, she is an uncommonly good-looking girl. I don't know of anyone in our crowd who's as attractive, and people aren't willing to believe that looks go with brains.

  Van : Well, one of the smallest troubles we've ever had, Linda, is caring what other people think.

• [kisses Linda while her eyes are closed] 

  Van : Guess who!

  Linda : Hmm... Simpson?

  Van : No!

  [kisses her again] 

  Van : Try again!

  Linda : Finny.

  Van : No!

  [kisses her again] 

  Van : Try again!

  Linda : I give up.

  [opens her eyes as they laugh and embrace] 

  Linda : Oh! It's a husband!

• Van : There's an old Chinese proverb that says if you want to keep a man honest, never call him a liar.

• Van : I can't do any more, Whitey. I'm all fagged out.

• Van : Happy?

  Linda : I don't know. You've never shown me anything else.

• Van : I'm sorry, boys. I got some work to do.

  Mr. Bakewell : Come on, Frawley. We've been thrown out of better offices.

  Frawley : Where they had better scotch!

• Van : You gals certainly stick together. You know, you'd rather see Whitey promoted than to see me comfortable.

  Linda : It's really my own comfort I'm thinking of. Do you know that I sat next to a young lady tonight that didn't know I was Mrs. Stanhope and was convinced that Whitey was one of *those* secretaries.

  Van : What? Did somebody say that?

• Van : Who won the fight?

  Simpson : Rosenblaum. In the third round.

  Van : He did? I owe Finny a night off.

  Simpson : Well with your night off and my three dollars, Finny should do quite well.

  Van : You too? Maybe we should get rid of Finny.

• [after Linda finds a bracelet hidden in her trout] 

  Van : Don't start asking me to go whale fishing.

• Van : You know, it's amazing how a man can twist logic to suit his own ends.

• Van : They're not going to get very far trying to sell a two dollar jar of cold cream in a five cent magazine.

• Linda : I'm the best, aren't I?

  Van : You're the top!

  Linda : The only best, always?

• Van : Whitey, you're good at this!

  Helen 'Whitey' Wilson : Thanks, V.S.

• J.D. Underwood : You have to admit its an idea.

  Van : Why, it's flabbergasting!

  J.D. Underwood : Well, it takes an old flabbergaster like me, to make you smart youngsters know that you haven't got all the ideas in the world.

• Van : [singing]  Pack up your troubles in your old kit bag, And smile, smile, smile, While you've a lucifer to light your fag, Smile, boys, that's the style, Oh what's the use of worrying? It never was worth while...

• Van : What'd you want?

  Linda : Oh, nothing.

  Van : Come on, now. What was it you wanted to tell me?

  Linda : It's too late. I won't talk now.

  Van : Well, probably wasn't anything important.

  Linda : Well, you're not going to get it out of me that way.

  Van : Well, what'd you want to tell me?

  Linda : Oh, the mood's gone. It's all different now.

  Van : Oh, it is, huh? The mood's gone? Eh? The mood's gone, eh? It is? Mmm-hmm.

  [kisses Linda on the lips] 

  Van : You know, the first time you bid three spades tonight, I am definitely going to break that lovely little neck of yours.

  [kisses Linda's neck] 

• Linda : Please give her the promotion.

  Van : Well, I certainly wouldn't give it to her for that reason - because someone thinks something smutty.

• Van : Are you going out?

  Linda : Yes, I have an appointment at the hair dressers at nine-thirty.

  Van : It's rather early for you, isn't it?

  Linda : Well, hair dressers are very arrogant, you know. You have to take what you can get.

• Van : You probably think I'm drunk, don't you?

  Helen 'Whitey' Wilson : No.

  Van : Well, you should; because, I am.

• Van : Me? I haven't done that in years. That's work!

• Van : What's to prevent me from thinking about you *all* day?

  Linda : Wild horses?

• Van : Say, that Ellen's a cute dish.

• Van : Is it still wet?

  Helen 'Whitey' Wilson : Yes, it is.

  Van : No! I don't think so. No, it must be dry by now. No, it's still wet.

• Van : Ladies and Gentlemen, I thank you for a very interesting and stimulating afternoon.

• J.D. Underwood : Van, I've got a brand new kind of a steam cabinet some fellow in Belgium invented and I tell you I'm like a kid with a toy.

  Van : You know, I haven't had a good steam bath in a year.

• J.D. Underwood : Van, enough beatin' about the bush. What are you tryin' to put over on me?

  Van : J.D., did anybody ever put anything over on you in your entire life?

  J.D. Underwood : Well, you're not far wrong.

• Helen 'Whitey' Wilson : Look, crack the whip. Are you game?

  Van : Certainly!

• Van : Whitey, you're a modern Mata Hari!

• Van : Whitey, tonight we let loose.