- May Wallace Cooper: Well, how's the soup?
- Miss June Crabtree: Oh, it's delicious, only I'm afraid it's a little too rich for me.
- May Wallace Cooper: Oh, I'm sorry.
- Jackie: Tastes like mothballs.
- [Mom kicks Jackie's shin under the table, causing him to swallow a mothball in the soup]
- Jackie: I swollered it.
- Mary Ann: Tastes like Pa's dress suit smells.
- [Mom repeats shin-kicking business on Mary]
- Mary Ann: [swallowing a mothball as well] I did too.
- Wheezer: Tastes more like axle grease.
- [Mom pinches Wheezer]
- Wheezer: Owwwwwww! Quit pinching me!
- Mary Ann: [seeing Wheezer asleep at the table] Wheezer! What's the matter with you?
- Wheezer: Aw, I couldn't sleep all night!
- Mary Ann: Couldn't sleep? Why?
- Wheezer: Aw, Jack kept huggin' me an' kissin' me all night, he did.
- Mary Ann: He DID?
- Wheezer: Yeah, an' he kept on saying: "I love you, my darling, I love you, I love you."
- [Wheezer's mom enters with Jackie]
- May Wallace Cooper: Now, hurry and eat your breakfast or you'll be late for school!
- Wheezer: HEY, DON'T YOU KISS ME!
- Jackie: I'll kiss you with my fist in a minute!
- May Wallace Cooper: Wheezer, what in the world's the matter with you?
- Wheezer: Jack's gonna kiss me.
- May Wallace Cooper: KISS you?
- Wheezer: Yeah, and... and all night he grabbed me and kissed me... an' calls me names.
- May Wallace Cooper: Names? Well, what kind of names?
- Wheezer: "Precious" and "sweetheart" and "tootsie-tootsie."
- Jackie: [about Miss Crabtree] I like the way she walks, and I love the way she dresses, and, oh, boy, how she smells!
- Farina: "Smells?" How come? Does she eat garlic and onions?
- Jackie: No. Sweet and rosy. You know, like, well... ammonia from flowers.
- Stymie: Oh, you mean like a funeral?
- Jackie: No! Not like a funeral! Perfume, like the barber puts on your haircut!
- Jackie: Gee, I thought our first teacher, Miss McGillicuddy, was swell, but Miss Crabtree, boy, she's sweller.
- Stymie: [trying anything to get in on the conversation] My Pappy's head's all swelled.
- Mary Ann: Well, what made your Pappy's head swell?
- Stymie: My Mammy hit him on the head wid' a monkey wrench.
- Mary Ann: Did it hurt him?
- Stymie: Don't be silly. How could a monkey wrench hurt your head?
- [aided by a larger-than-life-size Greta Garbo cutout at a movie theater, Chubby practices his romantic technique while quoting from an adult love letter; a little girl echoes but misquotes his studied lines]
- Chubby: Oh, my darling, can you hear my pleas in my whispers?
- Echo: Darling, I hear the fleas in your whiskers.
- Chubby: [exasperated but continues] If love is like a rose, I will pick my rose in a bud.
- Echo: If love is like a rose, I will stick my nose in the mud.
- Chubby: [pressing on] My heart is filled with joy. I wanna trip and dance.
- Echo: My heart is filled with joy. I want to rip my pants.
- [Chubby finally gives up the effort]
- [news arrives of Miss Crabtree becoming a boarder at Jackie's house]
- Jackie: Now, wait a minute, fellas. This might not be so hot. Could mean the house is just like Sunday. Gotta wash your neck and ears and slick up all the time.
- Farina: Never thought of that. Even gotta wash your feet before you eat.
- Stymie: I wouldn't wash my feet for nobody.