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Vulture Asks: What Are Your Jurassic Park Memories?
5 April 2013 1:00 PM, PDT
We here at Vulture have gone hard on Jurassic Park coverage this week, partly because it's being rereleased in 3-D but mostly because it remains one of our most memorable childhood big-screen experiences. Here are three reminiscences. Please leave yours in the comments below.Margaret Lyons Jurassic Park is probably my No. 1 movie of all time, and it might be the movie I've seen the most. It's definitely the movie I've seen the most in the theater — because I saw it seven times when it came out. My mom was pregnant that summer, and my dad took me and my sisters to the movies. A lot. And seeing Jurassic Park over and over was great because I was completely obsessed with it. I had both the hardcover and paperback versions of the book (where I learned the word iteration). I had hundreds of the trading cards (not that I »
- Kyle Buchanan,Gilbert Cruz,Margaret Lyons
5 Themes and Symbols to Watch for on Mad Men
5 April 2013 12:30 PM, PDT
It seems like we've been waiting for April 7 forever. Mad Men! Come back to us! Now that the show is indeed back (or just about), it's time to reengage with our favorite TV pastime: analyzing the themes, symbols, and imagery that seem to suck us deeper into Don Draper's world week by week. Keep an eye out for these motifs if you want to play along with the super-close readings of Mad Men.1. Doors It's not just season three's "Shut the Door. Have a Seat." Just about every episode of Mad Men has some kind of threshold scene — someone standing in the hall while someone else is standing in his or her apartment; a shot that follows a character all the way into an office and then watches as they shut the door; fumbling for one's keys trying to get home. When you change how you feel, you change »
- Margaret Lyons
Seitz: Roger Ebert on TV Was the Gateway Drug for New Film Obsessives
5 April 2013 12:00 PM, PDT
I grew up in Kansas City and Dallas in the seventies and eighties. To put it mildly, these were not film towns. They had precious few art-house theaters. Roger Ebert’s review show with Gene Siskel, which ran on PBS and then in syndication under various titles, was my gateway into cinematic worlds I might not have otherwise explored, and that road led to my becoming a film and TV critic. Siskel and Ebert had as much to do with stoking my interest in films and film criticism as anyone I knew personally. Maybe more.The duo became quite powerful fairly early in their show’s run — when it was on PBS in the late-seventies and called Coming to a Theater Near You and then Sneak Previews — and they consistently used their power for good. Their tastes were catholic-with-a-small-c, and in any given episode of a show, their selection of »
- Matt Zoller Seitz
Kitten Bowl Coming in 2014
5 April 2013 11:30 AM, PDT
The Puppy Bowl will have some competition next year, at long last. The Hallmark Channel announced today that they'll be airing a Kitten Bowl on Super Bowl Sunday 2014, with a similar look-at-these-cute-adoptable-pets strategy but with a cat agility contest. According to the rules, "Lures, like laser pointers, and toys on a string will be used to get the kittens through the course, but food will not [be] allowed." Sounds official! While we're shocked that it's taken this long for another channel to jump on the alterna-bowl train, we're glad it's finally happening. Some of us find the Super Bowl extremely dumb and boring but still like to eat nachos while enjoying companionship. We need shows, too. »
- Margaret Lyons
Evil Dead: 4 Reasons Why Most Horror Remakes Fail
5 April 2013 11:15 AM, PDT
You can remake The Evil Dead, as director Fede Alvarez has now done (with creator Sam Raimi's seal of approval, no less), but all of the excessive demonic bloodshed in the world won't let you reproduce Bruce Campbell's iconic hero Ash. That's just one nagging problem plaguing this latest entry in the long, depressing line of recent lousy horror remakes, which even more than do-overs of successful dramas or comedies are usually destined for failure. No genre relies more heavily on the element of surprise. So attempting to replicate material that has already stunned and horrified audiences is a fool's errand, as the past two decades' worth of horror-retread rubbish more than ably confirms.To be sure, there are exceptions — think Rob Zombie's gonzo-brutal and surreal Halloween films, Zack Snyder's action-oriented Dawn of the Dead, Matt Reeves's haunting Let Me In, and Alexandre Aja's goofily exploitative Piranha. »
- Nick Schager
Photos of the Rock Making Normal-Size Things Look Small
5 April 2013 10:45 AM, PDT
The Rock is tall and has giant muscles: He is superhumanly big. Whereas the star power of diminutive stars like Prince or Tom Cruise elevates them to look of average size, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson uses his to seem like a goddamn giant. He is so huge that normal objects don't look normal in his presence: An iPhone looks like a black pebble with white thread attached; water bottles look like sippy cups; kids look like the kin of a different, smaller species. Scroll on to see him dwarf everything on the planet.Seconds after placing his hands down, the podium crumbled into dust. This is the Rock’s toothpick. Or, as it's known by puny humans, a baseball bat. The Rock always has to hold his iPhone because it would get lost if put into his swimming-pool-size pocket. Peter Berg: “Hey, Dwayne, you know you can put that »
- Jesse David Fox
Steve Carell and James Gandolfini to Play Rival Paleontologists
5 April 2013 10:00 AM, PDT
In The Incredible Burt Wonderstone, Steve Carell played a Vegas magician and James Gandolfini played a casino owner. As Deadline reports, in their next project together, they'll take the logical step forward and play paleontologists. Titled Bone Wars, the HBO movie will tell the true story of the famous post–Civil War fossil feud between Edward Drinker Cope of the Academy of Natural Sciences in Philadelphia and Othniel Charles Marsh of the Peabody Museum of Natural History at Yale. Their rivalry lead to the discovery of more than 160 dinosaurs and each man's personal downfall. The comedy is still looking for a writer and director. Is Ross Gellar busy? »
- Jesse David Fox
New Girl Recap: Romancing Yolanda Winston
5 April 2013 9:57 AM, PDT
You guys, I’m worried about Outside Dave. What's his deal? How come he’s so down on his luck? When he started shaving Schmidt’s leg, was that a sign of how unhinged he is, or just evidence that he’s better at pranks than Winston? Obviously, Outside Dave was not the main point of last night’s episode. But he was one distracting element among many in a half-hour that just didn’t gel. Jess and Nick have enough sexual chemistry to power a fleet of Ford Escapés (nice product placement there, by the way), but at this point, they’ve been "are they or aren’t they"-ing for six episodes now, and it’s starting to feel like it’s not quite enough. Bringing the group to Chicago for Nick’s dad’s funeral was a smart move, but now that they’re back in L. »
- Izzy Grinspan
Scandal Recap: Home Invasion
5 April 2013 9:43 AM, PDT
For the last couple of weeks, I’ve started each episode thinking, Eh, maybe this one isn’t going to be so dynamic. They can’t all be winners. They start out slow, but by the end I am punching my couch, jaw flapping open, quietly yelling “What?” over and over again until the local news flashes on the screen. There is a slowly rising tension in this fast-paced show, and this week was no exception. I have to talk about that ending, but we cannot get there without a detailed beginning, so let’s go.Those of us wondering how it was possible for Olivia’s apartment to be bugged when she employed Huck, the most frighteningly agile spy in town, got our answer last night when he came in to do his monthly sweep with Quinn seconds after Ballard had dismantled and removed all of the cameras to »
- Danielle Henderson
Edelstein on Evil Dead: Years From Now, Will Anyone Choose to Watch This Over the Original?
5 April 2013 9:15 AM, PDT
Here’s the bleeding obvious: All humans are greedy, Hollywood humans greedier, and nowadays no one gives a second thought to the notion of cannibalizing an old property in the hope of creating a new “franchise.” (I refuse to use that word without quotation marks — it should be reserved for Burger Kings and 7-11s, not films.) You can remake a movie, but you can’t bring back the era in which it was made and seen. Say what you will about Jonathan Demme’s The Manchurian Candidate, it had an urgency that came from anger and despair over the Iraq War. It wasn’t the same damn thing with new technology. Which brings me to the 1981 The Evil Dead, now remade as Evil Dead — no definite article and not much definition in other ways.First the old one: The magic of Sam Raimi’s The Evil Dead had everything »
- David Edelstein
The Mindy Project Recap: Piano Man
5 April 2013 9:03 AM, PDT
It’s true, the second best part of living in New York is knowing that Beyoncé and Jay-z are sharing our weather. I think the first best part is having bodegas that are open all night, but Mindy thinks it’s the nightlife. Which maybe is kinda the same thing? Hmpf, I miss the Cool Minister from Tuesday night. This episode, which seemed to be once again out of sequence as the Mindy folks figure out how to make this show awesome instead of merely decent, had Mindy dating a male prostitute, which made me wonder: Will we ever get tired of her going on dates every week? It’s annoying that I’d say that, since I’ve been advocating for more of her rom-com send-ups. And this was clearly one of those, a role-reversing take on Pretty Woman. If nothing else, we did get a Zoolander-y, douchey version of Seth Meyers (yes, »
- Jennifer Keishin Armstrong
18 Mad Men Anachronisms Spotted by the Internet
5 April 2013 9:00 AM, PDT
Mad Men showrunner Matthew Weiner’s obsession with researching every last period detail has inspired much journalistic awe — and some collegial snark: Breaking Bad creator Vince Gilligan once quipped, "Now I always weigh the meth on the show to the 100th of a gram." The show is nearly period-perfect and its anachronisms are few, far between, and often debatable — which is why Mad Men obsessives take such obscene delight in nailing them down. Here we salute the insane, anal-retentive, obsessive-compulsive nitpickers who have sifted through every frozen frame of five seasons of television and come up with eighteen tiny anachronisms, from too-modern typefaces to misdirected trains. Go forth and revel in the fact that nothing’s perfect. And don’t worry about Weiner's feelings; as he once told The New York Times Magazine, "I’m glad that we’re held to a high standard, and I’m glad that people »
- Gwynne Watkins
Jason Segel Is Writing a YA Trilogy
5 April 2013 8:45 AM, PDT
Jason Segel has written a series of young-adult books, he says. He mentioned last night at a Q&A that the books are based on the first script he sold, back when he was just 21. "It’s about kids facing their biggest fears, that’s about all I can tell you," he said, according to VH1. Segel actually bought back his script from a studio in 2011, and at the time he said the film was a "kids' adventure movie in the style of Goonies or Labyrinth," which would make for a perfectly fine trilogy. Which will obviously then be made into a movie. And the cycle continues. »
- Margaret Lyons
Parks and Recreation Recap: Welcome Back, Ice Clown!
5 April 2013 8:34 AM, PDT
For a show that usually basks in how much its characters love each other, Parks and Rec took us through a conflict-ridden episode this week. Ron does battle with Councilman Jamm and the American justice system. Leslie wages war with the mayor of Partridge and Fred the Sled. Ben dukes it out with his past and also a kidney stone. April fights what I imagine is every instinct in her body as she tries to tell the truth and do something nice. So, did our warriors emerge with their shields or on them?Swanson vs. Jamm: Round TwoAn unofficial rule of television is this: If something spectacular happens to a beloved character, an equal and opposite thing is bound to strike that character down. Just as Carrie Mathison solves the mystery of Abu Nazir’s “fallow yellow” period, she gets electroshocked over the cuckoo’s nest and forgets all about it. »
- Jessica Goldstein
The Office Recap: Pretzel Days Revisited
5 April 2013 8:17 AM, PDT
One of the things I admire most about The Office was the way that, after a few seasons of fraught courtship, the show's writers were content to just let Jim and Pam be a couple. There was no "we were on a break" plot machinations à la Friends or near constant relationship status reversals like on Cheers, just two crazy kids in love making it work. The writers sometimes struggled to find material for these two outside of the relationship (it really should have committed to the Jim becomes the New Michael plot point it used to continually walk up to before scurrying in the other direction, though I guess this complaint is a few seasons old), but the show's refusal to accept the inherent idea that married people can't be funny or dramatically interesting was refreshing.So if I appreciated the way the show left Pam and Jim alone, »
- Michael Tedder
15 Roger Ebert Passages That Epitomize His Writing
5 April 2013 8:00 AM, PDT
Roger Ebert’s passing yesterday marked the end of one of the most influential, entertaining, and versatile voices in American criticism. (Though, technically speaking, he has a couple more reviews coming up, according to his longtime collaborator, editor, and friend Jim Emerson.) In honor of Roger Ebert’s immense, diverse body of work, here are fifteen great quotes and passages from his writing — from pans to effusive praise to touching blog posts and even recipes. These aren’t necessarily his most definitive reviews or passages, and yet each one evokes exactly what he did so well in every bit of writing, no matter how banal, grand, or universal the subject. (And make sure to also read David Edelstein’s eloquent eulogy to Ebert.)Do the Right Thing review, June 30, 1989"Of course it is confused. Of course it wavers between middle-class values and street values. Of course it is not sure »
- Bilge Ebiri
American Idol Recap: Rock-and-Roll Homicide
5 April 2013 7:44 AM, PDT
Have you all recovered from rock night? Did you start your day with a sack of McGriddles and take a nap in the office bathroom with your forehead on the toilet-paper roll, or was that just me at 23 the morning after every show I went to? Tonight’s show opens with the top seven “continuing to honor last night’s rock theme” by singing Queen’s “Somebody to Love” — or should I say, listlessly miming along to a track of Queen’s “Somebody to Love”; the group harmony parts are so Auto-Tuned I caught it, and I am deaf from every show I went to at 23. But at least they’re smiling all the way through the sad lyrics. Honest question: Do they have rehearsals for this show at all?The Ford Fiesta Missions continue! Whereas last week their mission was to teach some impoverished schoolchildren to sing, tonight they »
- Dave Holmes
Jurassic Park 3-D Review: Aging Effects Just Make It More of a Classic
5 April 2013 7:32 AM, PDT
At times, you could swear Jurassic Park was meant to be in 3-D all along. A movie about a theme park that is, in many ways, its own theme-park ride, Steven Spielberg’s 1993 dinosaur adventure always had plenty of in-your-face moments that one associates with 3-D gimmickry — from a pack of gallimimus charging toward the camera, to a jeep falling off a tree and straight at us, or even to an ominous dolly into a prehistoric mosquito caught in amber. The movie hasn’t lost any of its charm in the twenty years since its release; if anything, it’s gained some, because those slick, seemingly perfect CGI dinosaurs now seem slightly more fake than they used to. You’d think that might be a hindrance, but not here: The same way that Raiders of the Lost Ark was partly an homage to the action serials of an earlier age, »
- Bilge Ebiri
Glee Enlists Katey Sagal
5 April 2013 7:30 AM, PDT
Sons of Anarchy star Katey Sagal is going to be on Glee, Ryan Murphy announced last night. According to his tweet, Sagal will be playing Artie's mom. (How have we never met Artie's mom?) Sagal's an accomplished singer — she used to sing backup for Bette Midler — but honestly, we hope she channels some Gemma and kills one of the Glee kids. It's time. »
- Margaret Lyons
Kellan Lutz to Play Hercules in Hercules 3D
5 April 2013 7:00 AM, PDT
The Hollywood Reporter writes that Kellan Lutz has been cast to play Hercules in Hercules 3D. We know what you're thinking: Isn't the Rock supposed to be playing Hercules? He is, in the Brett Ratner–directed Hercules: The Thracian Wars. There are two Hercules movies in production, Armageddon–Deep Impact style. Not sure why they don't just merge the movies and make it about buddy Herculeses — one a streetwise, slovenly demigod, the other a straight-laced uptight demigod — who fight mythic-crime while bickering. »
- Jesse David Fox
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