Death! Destruction! Whodunits with cliffhanger endings! From Lucy Beale to Tina McIntyre to (almost) Ross Barton, there's been a lot of murders in soapland lately.
We've taken the big five soaps and crunched the numbers to discover the deadliest (and safest) places to live. How? By dividing the total murders by the show's number of years on air. We've been strict with the rules, so accidental killings don't count unless there was malicious intent. We also don't allow murders that occur miles away from the main location (unless it was somehow started there, like the Neighbours plane bomb).
Yep, we know it's morbid, but it's grimly fascinating. So here are the soaps ranked by their murder rates:
5. Neighbours
Murders: 10 in 30 years (Click here for the full list)
Average murders per year: 0.33
Even sunny Erinsborough can have the odd murder here and there, but not that many in comparison to other soap towns.
We've taken the big five soaps and crunched the numbers to discover the deadliest (and safest) places to live. How? By dividing the total murders by the show's number of years on air. We've been strict with the rules, so accidental killings don't count unless there was malicious intent. We also don't allow murders that occur miles away from the main location (unless it was somehow started there, like the Neighbours plane bomb).
Yep, we know it's morbid, but it's grimly fascinating. So here are the soaps ranked by their murder rates:
5. Neighbours
Murders: 10 in 30 years (Click here for the full list)
Average murders per year: 0.33
Even sunny Erinsborough can have the odd murder here and there, but not that many in comparison to other soap towns.
- 9/3/2015
- Digital Spy
Stars: Glenn Maynard, Kyrie Capri, Aston Elliot, Louise Bremner, Benjamin Grant Mitchell, Kristen Condon, Lucinda Cowden | Written by Addison Heath | Directed by Stuart Simpson
It’s been four years since Stuart Simpson hit my cinematic radar with El Monstro Del Mar a rockabilly meets monster movie that, despite its low budget nature, was a tremendously fun flick – plus it didn’t hurt that the cast were good on the eye! Since then I’ve been following Simpson on Facebook,Twitter – you know, the usual social media outlets – and in particular the progression of his next feature, Chocolate Strawberry Vanilla…
Awkward ice cream van driver Warren Thompson’s only respite from his drab existence comes in the form of gorgeous soapie star Katie George. Besotted with the young actress, Warren can’t help but imagine what life would be like with Katie at his side. After suffering another in a long...
It’s been four years since Stuart Simpson hit my cinematic radar with El Monstro Del Mar a rockabilly meets monster movie that, despite its low budget nature, was a tremendously fun flick – plus it didn’t hurt that the cast were good on the eye! Since then I’ve been following Simpson on Facebook,Twitter – you know, the usual social media outlets – and in particular the progression of his next feature, Chocolate Strawberry Vanilla…
Awkward ice cream van driver Warren Thompson’s only respite from his drab existence comes in the form of gorgeous soapie star Katie George. Besotted with the young actress, Warren can’t help but imagine what life would be like with Katie at his side. After suffering another in a long...
- 10/24/2014
- by Phil Wheat
- Nerdly
Stars: Glenn Maynard, Kyrie Capri, Aston Elliot, Louise Bremner, Benjamin Grant Mitchell, Kristen Condon, Richard Sutherland, Lucinda Cowden | Written by Addison Heath | Directed by Stuart Simpson
Review by Scott Clark of Cinehouse
Stuart Simpson’s Chocolate Strawberry Vanilla is a strange but welcome kind of cathartic character study. Warren (Glenn Maynard) is an ice cream man, he lives alone with his cat and tunes in daily to his favourite soap opera. However, after an awful accident, Warren’s life begins to spiral out of control: he becomes dangerously obsessed with his favourite soap star, a local drug dealer starts muscling in on his patch, and his sanity begins to disintegrate alarmingly.
First things first, Glenn Maynard deserves an overwhelming amount of praise for his performance, considering the entire film rests on his laurels. Warren is a hop and a skip away from being a dull kind of caricatured loner, however...
Review by Scott Clark of Cinehouse
Stuart Simpson’s Chocolate Strawberry Vanilla is a strange but welcome kind of cathartic character study. Warren (Glenn Maynard) is an ice cream man, he lives alone with his cat and tunes in daily to his favourite soap opera. However, after an awful accident, Warren’s life begins to spiral out of control: he becomes dangerously obsessed with his favourite soap star, a local drug dealer starts muscling in on his patch, and his sanity begins to disintegrate alarmingly.
First things first, Glenn Maynard deserves an overwhelming amount of praise for his performance, considering the entire film rests on his laurels. Warren is a hop and a skip away from being a dull kind of caricatured loner, however...
- 5/17/2014
- by Guest
- Nerdly
Langford’S Picks And Pans
Neighbours
As I said last week, I’m really enjoying Neighbours these days. The fallout from the accident has continued to make for interesting soap. Now, I don’t know anything about epilepsy or its symptoms, so I can’t say if the show is being medically accurate about Andrew’s illness, but it’s dramatically compelling to watch.
I see a lot of comments about Andrew being ‘stupid’ for not taking Aidan’s advice and telling people about his situation, but his behavior makes perfect sense to me. Andrew has always been one to avoid problems. His father is repeatedly telling him he needs to be tough and he can’t even talk to Chris and his friends because they won’t have anything to do with him following the accident. Risking his health might be stupid, but it’s realistic.
What isn’t so realistic,...
Neighbours
As I said last week, I’m really enjoying Neighbours these days. The fallout from the accident has continued to make for interesting soap. Now, I don’t know anything about epilepsy or its symptoms, so I can’t say if the show is being medically accurate about Andrew’s illness, but it’s dramatically compelling to watch.
I see a lot of comments about Andrew being ‘stupid’ for not taking Aidan’s advice and telling people about his situation, but his behavior makes perfect sense to me. Andrew has always been one to avoid problems. His father is repeatedly telling him he needs to be tough and he can’t even talk to Chris and his friends because they won’t have anything to do with him following the accident. Risking his health might be stupid, but it’s realistic.
What isn’t so realistic,...
- 9/12/2012
- by Anthony D. Langford
- The Backlot
Langford’S Picks And Pans
Neighbours
I really enjoyed Neighboursthis past week. The crash and the aftermath made for some really strong storytelling and I’m surprised at how prominent Chris has been in the storyline. Frankly, I thought he would only play a minor supporting role in his friends' drama, like he has in much of the time on this show. I never expected Chris to be front and center. I think James Mason has been very good as Chris struggles to deal with what’s happened, though he needs to be a more convincing crier. A few tears might help.
One thing that never changes about this show, however, is that Chris has lousy friends. Both Tash and Summer ragged on Andrew about how selfish he was being, more concerned about his money than Chris’ plight, but neither of them bothered to go with Chris when he went...
Neighbours
I really enjoyed Neighboursthis past week. The crash and the aftermath made for some really strong storytelling and I’m surprised at how prominent Chris has been in the storyline. Frankly, I thought he would only play a minor supporting role in his friends' drama, like he has in much of the time on this show. I never expected Chris to be front and center. I think James Mason has been very good as Chris struggles to deal with what’s happened, though he needs to be a more convincing crier. A few tears might help.
One thing that never changes about this show, however, is that Chris has lousy friends. Both Tash and Summer ragged on Andrew about how selfish he was being, more concerned about his money than Chris’ plight, but neither of them bothered to go with Chris when he went...
- 8/29/2012
- by Anthony D. Langford
- The Backlot
Langfords Picks And Pans
EastEnders
I’m glad Amira has finally gotten the message, given up on Syed and left town. Given that Syed cheated on her for over a year with Christian, ended their marriage to be with Christian and wanted nothing more than to be with Christian after Christian dumped him late last year, it’s pretty clear that he’s just not that into her. I just hope she doesn’t give him a hard time about finally getting a divorce and lets him see his daughter regularly without a hassle. Her character has worn out her welcome, and it’s time to move on. I will miss scenes of Christian and Amira being bitchy to each other though. That was always fun to watch.
As for Zainab finally confessing that she purposefully sent Yusef to his death, which led to Tamwar being seriously burned, it was a moment long in coming.
EastEnders
I’m glad Amira has finally gotten the message, given up on Syed and left town. Given that Syed cheated on her for over a year with Christian, ended their marriage to be with Christian and wanted nothing more than to be with Christian after Christian dumped him late last year, it’s pretty clear that he’s just not that into her. I just hope she doesn’t give him a hard time about finally getting a divorce and lets him see his daughter regularly without a hassle. Her character has worn out her welcome, and it’s time to move on. I will miss scenes of Christian and Amira being bitchy to each other though. That was always fun to watch.
As for Zainab finally confessing that she purposefully sent Yusef to his death, which led to Tamwar being seriously burned, it was a moment long in coming.
- 3/14/2012
- by Anthony D. Langford
- The Backlot
Langford's Picks And Pans
Hollyoaks
Well, it looks like Callum and George are going to be just friends, at least that’s what I’m forecasting after weeks of wondering. And that’s fine. Romance would have been nice, but I like them both, and I always enjoy strong friendships between gay men and straight men. But I do hope that the show eventually gives George a love interest. Though as I said before, this is Hollyoaks,so I’d be surprised if they didn’t. I did think the scenes of the guys cruising Callum in the gay club were cute. He’s the kind of guy who would definitely attract attention.
Meanwhile, as for Brendan, I liked his scenes with Cheryl and especially with Darren, even if Brendan suddenly hanging out with Darren makes little sense given they’ve said about two words to each other since Brendan arrived in town.
Hollyoaks
Well, it looks like Callum and George are going to be just friends, at least that’s what I’m forecasting after weeks of wondering. And that’s fine. Romance would have been nice, but I like them both, and I always enjoy strong friendships between gay men and straight men. But I do hope that the show eventually gives George a love interest. Though as I said before, this is Hollyoaks,so I’d be surprised if they didn’t. I did think the scenes of the guys cruising Callum in the gay club were cute. He’s the kind of guy who would definitely attract attention.
Meanwhile, as for Brendan, I liked his scenes with Cheryl and especially with Darren, even if Brendan suddenly hanging out with Darren makes little sense given they’ve said about two words to each other since Brendan arrived in town.
- 2/1/2012
- by Anthony D. Langford
- The Backlot
Langford's Picks And Pans
EastEnders
I know a lot of people were upset that Ben slept with Lola given that Ben knows he’s gay. We have had too many tv gay teens who lose their virginity to girls, but I can sort of relate to the situation Ben was in, and I get why he would do it.
He might think he’s gay or believe he’s gay, but sleeping with a girl would remove any doubts, which is exactly how it played out. However, I’m not sure why Lola would sleep with Ben. It’s not like she particularly liked him or was even attracted to him. She just seemed all too casual about sleeping with Ben to me. But perhaps that’s an attitude that many teens have about intimacy in general, not worried about the very real ramifications of casual sex. And I suspect...
EastEnders
I know a lot of people were upset that Ben slept with Lola given that Ben knows he’s gay. We have had too many tv gay teens who lose their virginity to girls, but I can sort of relate to the situation Ben was in, and I get why he would do it.
He might think he’s gay or believe he’s gay, but sleeping with a girl would remove any doubts, which is exactly how it played out. However, I’m not sure why Lola would sleep with Ben. It’s not like she particularly liked him or was even attracted to him. She just seemed all too casual about sleeping with Ben to me. But perhaps that’s an attitude that many teens have about intimacy in general, not worried about the very real ramifications of casual sex. And I suspect...
- 11/3/2011
- by Anthony D. Langford
- The Backlot
Langford’S Picks And Pans
All That Matters
Florian got some bad news about Roman..
As I said last week, I can’t bring the clips of this storyline to you, but I did want to discuss it as it's an important arc for one of the most beloved TV gay couples. To begin, to my surprise, I’m really enjoying this storyline. Last week’s episodes detailing Roman's impending doom were terrific. The writing for this story has been unusually strong for this generally fluffy soap, and the acting is outstanding, especially by Igor Dolsgatschew, who plays Deniz.
The scene where Deniz begged Roman to tell Florian about his illness and then talked about his own feelings about losing the man he loves had me misting up as much as the actor. Dennis Grabosch as Roman was good, but I was really taken by his co-star's work. Dolsgatschew has...
All That Matters
Florian got some bad news about Roman..
As I said last week, I can’t bring the clips of this storyline to you, but I did want to discuss it as it's an important arc for one of the most beloved TV gay couples. To begin, to my surprise, I’m really enjoying this storyline. Last week’s episodes detailing Roman's impending doom were terrific. The writing for this story has been unusually strong for this generally fluffy soap, and the acting is outstanding, especially by Igor Dolsgatschew, who plays Deniz.
The scene where Deniz begged Roman to tell Florian about his illness and then talked about his own feelings about losing the man he loves had me misting up as much as the actor. Dennis Grabosch as Roman was good, but I was really taken by his co-star's work. Dolsgatschew has...
- 9/7/2011
- by Anthony D. Langford
- The Backlot
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