- [on his relationship with Nancy Sorrell). 'This one will last. Marriage is to be decided. I'd like to settle down. And more kids? There's always the possibility I might become Picasso and spawn one at 91.'
- It's very difficult to get anything on TV at the moment. I've got great ideas, but it seems like it's a lot cheaper and easier to stick a camera through someone's window. There's no need to pay for any professionals.
- Vic Reeves is really just a character on TV. He's an exaggerated version of me, I suppose. He's more brusque and self-confident. He's a big, blustery character. He's just a character who's a bit of an idiot, which I quite like playing.
- We paved the way for Noel Edmonds - he definitely copied us.
- I don't really think it's my job to analyze my comedy.
- I've always wanted to do something a bit harder than satirical comedy - that's a piece of piss.
- [on partner and friend Bob Mortimer] We don't argue. We both have a pretty clear idea of what we want to do, and we try to keep things moving. Our thing with us has always been if people aren't interested in one bit, they won't have to wait too long for something else to happen.
- [on how he and Bob Mortimer met] We found we both had an interest in Graeco-Roman wrestling so we got some margarine and a paddling pool and arranged to meet.
- The things that make me happy are simple things. I like doing a painting, taking a good photograph, going for a good walk. My kids are the most important thing in my life. That and being enthusiastic about what I do. I don't give a stuff about the whole showbusiness thing. For me, hell would be being forced to go to a nightclub every night. I went to one once. It was Dante's Inferno.
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