- [on his sole acting part in Monstrosity] It was the happiest time in my life.
- My full name is Robert Wayne Keeton, but you can call me Wayne. D'ya know I'm related to Diane Keaton? No, Buster Keaton. Or is it Michael Keaton? Ignore me, I'm always full of shit.
- [on how he met Andy Milligan] It was late summer of '85. I was working as a dishwasher at a seedy Mexican eatery in the Valley when Andy and his friends walked in for lunch. We just clicked. Love at first sight. As he was leavin' he and I talked for 'bout a minute and he barked: "you're coming with us." Excited, I yelled, "OK!" I threw down my apron and walked out with them, never looking back. I later learned that five days later, the place I used to work at was closed down by the local health board for selling donkey-dick burritos.
- I've always been poor. Most money I ever had in my life was $37,000, when I lived in New Orleans. Stole it from a blind, colored guy when he wasn't lookin'. Left town, forgot where it all went. Spent most of it on booze.
- I was thirteen when my older brother, at seventeen, killed himself. It was Christmas Day, 1973. We was around the presents under the tree when he came out and said: "hey, y'all check this out. I have a present for ya." BAM! He blew his brains out with a revolver right there in front of everyone! Ma and Grandma screamed for ten full minutes. Grandma never threw away his presents. She was gonna open 'em, but she later donated 'em to Goodwill.
- I've always known I was gay. Since I never had a father growin' up, I've always preferred older men. My first boyfrien' was when I was 14. This trucker, an older man, picked me up one day while I was hitchhikin' home and took me 'cross the state line. We spent three days and two night together before he dropped me off in Georgia. Later heard he was arrested for "transportin' a minor"-me... as well as sodomy.
- After I left home, I tried to live straight. Honest. When I was 19 or 20, I got married... to a woman. My first and only straight relationship was with this young widow; a woman couple years older then me, who had a young daughter when I was livin' in Houston. Was married to her for a year-and-a-half before I realized that straight and monogamous was not for me. Ended up dumpin' her and leavin' town with half her money... leavin' her and her girl to fend for themselves.
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