- If you're not happy before you're successful, you're going to be miserable when you do become successful because all your problems just get magnified.
- But I said wait a minute, I'm going to get a computer, I can do this as well as anybody else. So I did some studying so I knew what kind of boards to get to put a PC together. But there was a guy sitting there with Apple. I said, 'what's that?' and he goes, 'Apple with 128k, it's all built into the box,' and I bought it. That was my first computer.
- People think comedians don't do drama. Comics are drama. And what is drama, as opposed to comedy? It's all the same to me.
- There's no one defining moment that kills you or makes you.
- Who the heck is Donald Trump to fire me? I regret I didn't tell Donald Trump, 'You need to fire your barber. I'm sorry. I ain't feeling you, man. You're fired! I fire you, Donald Trump.'
- I spent money, and I kept thinking, 'I get one more movie and I'll wipe these bills out,' but that movie never came. That black pride, I said, 'Man, I'm going to hang in there, I'm going to pay these bills.' So you owe a million dollars. 'I can pay that.' OK, fines, fees, now you owe two and a half million. 'But I didn't do nothin'!'
- I'm under stress. They killed me on Wikipedia. They killed me. And I didn't stay dead long enough to sell no DVDs. I didn't even stay dead long enough - I was too stupid. I should've stayed low. I should've laid low. I could've been gone for a year; I'd have made money. And then I'd have risen from the dead.
- I didn't buy Bentleys. I didn't live large. I invested in me. I invested in a lot of other people.
- Hollywood's not a progressive place. Everyone likes to think that Hollywood is hip, but it's not hip at all.
- Don't let people treat you like you're stupid. If it sounds too good to be true, it is.
- I never should have done 'Celebrity Apprentice.' I didn't want to do it because I didn't want Donald Trump to say, 'You're fired.'
- I would be an activist but never a politician. As an activist, nobody owns you.
- We ask for way too much stuff - way too much stuff. You got a job making $100 a year and bought a house for $3 million. Talking about, 'I don't know what happened with the payment.'
- I was in the Air Force and was a boom operator (in-flight refueling). I got my comedy start in the Air Force.
- We all want something else other than what we have and don't realize what you got works. It works. It does work. You gotta work. Marriage is work. Marriage is a career. It's not an adventure.
- If you got a name like Barack Obama, you're supposed to fight.
- I've been on the road since 1983. Nothing ever changed, even when I was doing TV and movies.
- Here's the thing about Apple, we complain and they give us more battery life. We complain and they'll give us more stuff. Everything's beta right now. Everything's experimental. They really don't know what people want.
- I had flaming red hair and they called me Red Chamberlain. I had "Baby Wilt" written on the side of my car. I was on my way to becoming All-American. I thought college ball was going to be the ticket.
- I didn't make the Air Force basketball team and went into denial. So, I kept going AWOL. My mother kept begging me to go back. I told her, 'No, I'm not going back. I'll just grow a beard. They won't recognize me. I'll just be another black man with a beard.' I was going to Georgia Tech to learn about computers. I'd go AWOL all the time. I'd just leave. I'd come back, hoping they'd throw me out.
- I renamed myself Sinbad because Sinbad is bad. He could hang out with rogues and with kings. He didn't have the strength of Hercules, but he could outwit anyone.
- I've never had my own TV show and the only i did have barley lasted one season.
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