Roger Ebert's Most Hated
by peter1-8 | created - 18 Dec 2010 | updated - 04 Jan 2012 | PublicThe following includes all the movies that appear on Roger Ebert's list of most hated films, plus several others that he wrote extremely scathing reviews of. Snippets from his reviews are included in quotation marks.
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1. 10 to Midnight (1983)
R | 101 min | Crime, Drama, Thriller
An LAPD detective and his rookie partner are on the trail of a psychopathic young man who is murdering young women.
Director: J. Lee Thompson | Stars: Charles Bronson, Lisa Eilbacher, Andrew Stevens, Gene Davis
Votes: 9,330 | Gross: $7.10M
"This is a scummy little sewer of a movie, a cesspool that lingers sadistically on shots of a killer terrifying and killing helpless women, and then is shameless enough to end with an appeal to law and order. The people who made "From Ten to Midnight" have every right to be ashamed of themselves -- and that includes Charles Bronson, whose name on the marquee is the only reason anybody would come to see it."
2. The A-Team (2010)
PG-13 | 117 min | Action, Adventure, Crime
A group of Iraq War veterans look to clear their name with the U.S. Military, who suspect the four men of committing a crime for which they were framed.
Director: Joe Carnahan | Stars: Liam Neeson, Bradley Cooper, Sharlto Copley, Jessica Biel
Votes: 268,838 | Gross: $77.22M
"The A-Team” is an incomprehensible mess with the 1980s TV show embedded inside. The characters have the same names, they play the same types, they have the same traits, and they're easily as shallow. That was OK for a TV sitcom, which is what the show really was, but at over two hours of Queasy-Cam anarchy, it's punishment."
3. Africa: Blood and Guts (1966)
R | 122 min | Documentary, Horror
The cruel acts of animal poaching and violence, executions, and tribal slaughtering, all taking place on the African continent.
Directors: Gualtiero Jacopetti, Franco Prosperi | Stars: Sergio Rossi, Gualtiero Jacopetti, Jomo Kenyatta, Julius Nyerere
Votes: 1,875
"Africa Addio" is a brutal, dishonest, racist film. It slanders a continent and at the same time diminishes the human spirit. And it does so to entertain us... There are scenes even more odious, of executions, decomposed bodies, burning flesh, suffering and death. If only they were honestly presented, set in context, perhaps they could be justified. But they are not. Instead, they are staged for our amusement, cloaked in the respectability of an "impartial" documentary, and in the end that is the most disgusting thing about this wretched film."
4. An Alan Smithee Film: Burn Hollywood Burn (1997)
R | 86 min | Comedy
When a rookie filmmaker with the unfortunate name Alan Smithee realizes he's an unwitting studio puppet, being forced to make a big-budget action movie he knows is horrible, he steals the master reels and tries to make a deal.
Director: Arthur Hiller | Stars: Ryan O'Neal, Coolio, Chuck D, Eric Idle
Votes: 3,769 | Gross: $0.05M
"In taking his name off the film, Arthur Hiller has wisely distanced himself from the disaster, but on the basis of what's on the screen I cannot, frankly, imagine any version of this film that I would want to see. The only way to save this film would be to trim 86 minutes."
5. Alex & Emma (2003)
PG-13 | 96 min | Comedy, Romance
A writer must turn out a novel in thirty days or face the wrath of loan sharks.
Director: Rob Reiner | Stars: Luke Wilson, Kate Hudson, David Paymer, Sophie Marceau
Votes: 13,896 | Gross: $14.21M
"This other story takes place in 1924 and involves people who dress and act like the characters in The Great Gatsby. Not the central characters, but the characters who attend Gatsby's parties and are in those long lists of funny names. It might have been a funny idea for the novelist to actually steal The Great Gatsby , confident that neither the gamblers nor his publisher would recognize it, but funny ideas are not easy to come by in "Alex & Emma."... [Rob Reiner has made] wonderful movies in the future. He has not, however, made a wonderful movie in the present."
6. Alligator (1980)
R | 91 min | Horror, Sci-Fi, Thriller
A pet baby alligator is flushed down a toilet and survives in the city sewers. Twelve years later, it grows to an enormous size thanks to a diet of discarded laboratory dogs injected with growth hormones. Now, humans have entered the menu.
Director: Lewis Teague | Stars: Robert Forster, Robin Riker, Michael V. Gazzo, Dean Jagger
Votes: 15,840
"The alligator, on the other hand, is smart enough to travel all over the city without being seen: In one shot, he's in a suburban swimming pool, and seconds later, he's midtown. You would not think it would be that easy for a 40-foot alligator to sneak around incognito, but then, New Yorkers are awfully blase. Meanwhile, I suggest a plan: Why not try flushing this movie down the toilet to see if it also grows into something big and fearsome?"
7. Anatomy of Hell (2004)
Unrated | 77 min | Drama
A woman employs a gay man to spend four nights at her house to watch her when she's "unwatchable".
Director: Catherine Breillat | Stars: Amira Casar, Rocco Siffredi, Alexandre Belin, Manuel Taglang
Votes: 6,138
"But sometimes she [Catherine Breillat] is just plain goofy, as in "Anatomy of Hell," which plays like porn dubbed by bitter deconstructionist theoreticians."
8. Annapolis (2006)
PG-13 | 108 min | Drama, Romance, Sport
Set against the backdrop of boxing at the Naval Academy, centers on a young man from the wrong side of the tracks whose dream of attending Annapolis becomes a reality.
Director: Justin Lin | Stars: James Franco, Jordana Brewster, Tyrese Gibson, Donnie Wahlberg
Votes: 21,904 | Gross: $17.13M
"...It is the anti-Sundance film, an exhausted wheeze of bankrupt clichés and cardboard characters, the kind of film that has no visible reason for existing, except that everybody got paid."
9. Armageddon (1998)
PG-13 | 151 min | Action, Adventure, Sci-Fi
After discovering that an asteroid the size of Texas will impact Earth in less than a month, NASA recruits a misfit team of deep-core drillers to save the planet.
Director: Michael Bay | Stars: Bruce Willis, Billy Bob Thornton, Ben Affleck, Liv Tyler
Votes: 450,457 | Gross: $201.57M
"Here it is at last, the first 150-minute trailer. ``Armageddon'' is cut together like its own highlights. Take almost any 30 seconds at random, and you'd have a TV ad. The movie is an assault on the eyes, the ears, the brain, common sense and the human desire to be entertained. No matter what they're charging to get in, it's worth more to get out... Staggering into the silence of the theater lobby after the ordeal was over, I found a big poster that was fresh off the presses with the quotes of junket blurbsters. ``It will obliterate your senses!'' reports David Gillin, who obviously writes autobiographically. ``It will suck the air right out of your lungs!'' vows Diane Kaminsky. If it does, consider it a mercy killing."
10. B*A*P*S (1997)
PG-13 | 91 min | Comedy
Two tacky homegirls move to L.A. to become dancers; instead they scam a dying millionaire but eventually become B*A*P*S (Black American Princesses).
Director: Robert Townsend | Stars: Halle Berry, Natalie Desselle Reid, Martin Landau, Ian Richardson
Votes: 5,841 | Gross: $7.24M
"The movie doesn't work, but was there any way this material could ever have worked? My guess is that African Americans will be offended by the movie, and whites will be embarrassed. The movie will bring us all together, I imagine, in paralyzing boredom."
11. Baby Geniuses (1999)
PG | 97 min | Comedy, Crime, Family
Scientists hold super intelligent talking babies captive, but things take a turn for the worse when a mix-up occurs between a baby genius and its twin.
Director: Bob Clark | Stars: Kathleen Turner, Christopher Lloyd, Kim Cattrall, Peter MacNicol
Votes: 27,633 | Gross: $27.14M
"Bad films are easy to make, but a film as unpleasant as ``Baby Geniuses'' achieves a kind of grandeur. And it proves something I've long suspected: Babies are cute only when they're being babies. When they're presented as miniature adults (on greeting cards, in TV commercials or especially in this movie), there is something so fundamentally wrong that our human instincts cry out in protest."
12. The Back-up Plan (2010)
PG-13 | 104 min | Comedy, Romance
A woman conceives twins through artificial insemination, then meets the man of her dreams on the very same day.
Director: Alan Poul | Stars: Jennifer Lopez, Alex O'Loughlin, Michaela Watkins, Eric Christian Olsen
Votes: 52,233 | Gross: $37.49M
"Some movies are no better than second-rate sitcoms. Other movies are no better than third-rate sitcoms. "The Back-up Plan" doesn't deserve comparison with sitcoms. It plays like an unendurable TV commercial about beautiful people with great lifestyles and not a thought in their empty little heads. So timid is this film that when it finally arrives at its inevitable childbirth scene, it bails out after two "pushes"!"
13. Bad Boys II (2003)
R | 147 min | Action, Comedy, Crime
Two loose-cannon narcotics cops investigate the flow of Ecstasy into Florida from a Cuban drug cartel.
Director: Michael Bay | Stars: Will Smith, Martin Lawrence, Gabrielle Union, Jordi Mollà
Votes: 266,848 | Gross: $138.61M
"Bad Boys II" is a bloated, unpleasant assembly-line extrusion in which there are a lot of chases and a lot of killings and explosions... The movie has a carelessness that shows a contempt for the audience. Consider a sequence in which two helicopters pursue a speedboat near Miami. I was never sure who was in the speedboat, or why it was fleeing. Maybe I missed something, but it didn't make much difference. Eventually the cops spray the boat with automatic weapons, the engine dies, and we hear "the boat is dead in the water." End of scene. As nearly as I can tell, the only reason this scene is in the movie is so that we can watch two helicopters chasing a speedboat. In a movie that is painfully long at 146 minutes, why is this scene taking up our time?"
14. Baise-moi (2000)
Not Rated | 77 min | Crime, Drama, Thriller
Two young women, marginalised by society, go on a destructive tour of sex and violence. Breaking norms and killing men - and shattering the complacency of polite cinema audiences.
Directors: Virginie Despentes, Coralie Trinh Thi | Stars: Raffaëla Anderson, Karen Lancaume, Céline Beugnot, Adama Niane
Votes: 18,551 | Gross: $0.01M
"An equally controversial new American movie named ''Bully'' is also about stupid, senseless murder, but it has the wit to know what it thinks about its characters. ''Baise Moi'' is more of a bluff. The directors know their film is so extreme that most will be repelled, but some will devise intellectual defenses and interpretations for it, saving them the trouble of making it clear what they want to say. I can't buy it. Ernest Hemingway, who was no doubt a sexist pig, said it is moral if you feel good after it, and immoral if you feel bad after it. Manu and Nadine do not feel bad, and that is immoral."
15. Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever (2002)
R | 91 min | Action, Crime, Mystery
Tasked with destroying each other, an FBI agent and a rogue DIA agent soon discover that a much bigger enemy is at work.
Director: Wych Kaosayananda | Stars: Antonio Banderas, Lucy Liu, Talisa Soto, Gregg Henry
Votes: 21,020 | Gross: $14.29M
"There is nothing wrong with the title "Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever" that renaming it "Ballistic" would not have solved. Strange that they would choose such an ungainly title when, in fact, the movie is not about Ecks versus Sever but about Ecks and Sever working together against a common enemy--although Ecks, Sever and the audience take a long time to figure that out... "Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever" is an ungainly mess, submerged in mayhem, occasionally surfacing for cliches. When the FBI goes looking for Ecks, for example, they find him sitting morosely on a bar stool, drinking and smoking. That is of course always where sad former agents are found, but the strange thing is, after years of drinking, he is still in great shape, has all his karate moves, and goes directly into violent action without even a tiny tremor of the DTs."
16. Basic (2003)
R | 98 min | Action, Crime, Drama
A D.E.A. Agent investigates the disappearance of a legendary Army Ranger Drill Sergeant and several of his cadets during a training exercise gone severely awry.
Director: John McTiernan | Stars: John Travolta, Samuel L. Jackson, Connie Nielsen, Tim Daly
Votes: 66,444 | Gross: $26.54M
"...By the end, I wanted to do cruel and vicious things to the screenplay. There's a genre that we could call the Jerk-Around Movie, because what it does is jerk you around. It sets up a situation and then does a bait and switch. You never know which walnut the truth is under. You invest your trust and are betrayed."
17. Battlefield Earth (2000)
PG-13 | 117 min | Action, Adventure, Sci-Fi
It's the year 3000 A.D., and the Earth is lost to the alien race of Psychlos. Humanity is enslaved by these gold-thirsty tyrants, who are unaware that their 'man-animals' are about to ignite the rebellion of a lifetime.
Director: Roger Christian | Stars: John Travolta, Forest Whitaker, Barry Pepper, Kim Coates
Votes: 83,054 | Gross: $21.47M
"Battlefield Earth" is like taking a bus trip with someone who has needed a bath for a long time. It's not merely bad; it's unpleasant in a hostile way. The visuals are grubby and drab. The characters are unkempt and have rotten teeth. Breathing tubes hang from their noses like ropes of snot. The soundtrack sounds like the boom mike is being slammed against the inside of a 55-gallon drum. The plot... Some movies run off the rails. This one is like the train crash in "The Fugitive." I watched it in mounting gloom, realizing I was witnessing something historic, a film that for decades to come will be the punch line of jokes about bad movies."
18. Ben (1972)
PG | 94 min | Drama, Horror, Thriller
A lonely boy befriends Ben, the leader of a violent swarm of killer rats.
Director: Phil Karlson | Stars: Lee Montgomery, Joseph Campanella, Arthur O'Connell, Rosemary Murphy
Votes: 3,426 | Gross: $0.77M
"I wonder how Ben learned English. I seem to recall from "Willard," last summer's big rat movie, that Willard trained Ben to heel, beg, roll over, play dead and sic Ernest Borgnine. Not bad for a rat. But when did Ben learn English? It takes Berlitz six weeks of intensive training to get a French businessman to the point where he can proposition a girl on Rush St. -- and here's Ben learning instinctively."
19. Betty Blue (1986)
Unrated | 119 min | Drama, Romance
A lackadaisical handyman and aspiring novelist tries to support his younger girlfriend as she slowly succumbs to madness.
Director: Jean-Jacques Beineix | Stars: Jean-Hugues Anglade, Béatrice Dalle, Gérard Darmon, Consuelo De Haviland
Votes: 23,327 | Gross: $2.00M
"...Have you ever had the experience of going to a movie and trying to make sense of the plot, and trying to figure out why anyone has wasted his life and money on the project, only to suddenly have a dazzling insight? That's what happened to me during "Betty Blue." Reviews have been written debating the movie's view of madness, of feminism, of the travail of the artist. They all miss the point. "Betty Blue" is a movie about Beatrice Dalle's boobs and behind, and everything else is just what happens in between the scenes where she displays them."
20. The Beyond (1981)
R | 87 min | Horror
A young woman inherits an old hotel in Louisiana where, following a series of supernatural "accidents", she learns that the building was built over one of the entrances to Hell.
Director: Lucio Fulci | Stars: Catriona MacColl, David Warbeck, Cinzia Monreale, Antoine Saint-John
Votes: 25,278 | Gross: $0.12M
``The Beyond'' opens in ``Louisiana 1927,'' and has certain shots obviously filmed in New Orleans, but other locations are possibly Italian, as was (probably) the sign painter who created the big ``DO NOT ENTRY'' sign for a hospital scene. It's the kind of movie that alternates stupefyingly lame dialogue with special effects scenes in which quicklime dissolves corpses and tarantulas eat lips and eyeballs.... In a film filled with bad dialogue, it is hard to choose the most quotable line, but I think it may occur in Liza's conversations with Martin, the architect hired to renovate the hotel. ``You have carte blanche,'' she tells him, ``but not a blank check!'' The movie is being revived around the country for midnight cult showings. Midnight is not late enough."
21. Beyond and Back (1978)
G | 93 min | Documentary
A documentary that explores the subject of near death experiences.
Director: James L. Conway | Stars: Brad Crandall, Vern Adix, Linda Bishop, Janet Bylund
Votes: 186 | Gross: $23.78M
"The movie's another one of those pseudo-scientific laundry lines of half-baked psychic theories. There may be something to the theories, all right, but there's never anything to the movies. They're booked into half the theaters in town and promoted with a hard-sell TV campaign, on the theory that enough suckers . . . ah, victims will be parted from their money before the word gets out that it's a turkey."
22. The Blue Lagoon (1980)
R | 104 min | Adventure, Drama, Romance
In the Victorian period, two children are shipwrecked on a tropical island in the South Pacific. With no adults to guide them, the two make a simple life together, unaware that sexual maturity will eventually intervene.
Director: Randal Kleiser | Stars: Brooke Shields, Christopher Atkins, Leo McKern, William Daniels
Votes: 76,458 | Gross: $58.85M
"This movie made me itch. It's about a young girl and a young boy who are shipwrecked on a beautiful Pacific Island. It shows how they grow up, mostly at sunset. It follows their progress as they discover sex and smile sweetly at each other, in that order. It concludes with a series of scenes designed to inspire the question: If these two young people had grown up in civilized surroundings, wouldn't they have had to repeat the fourth grade?"
23. Boat Trip (2002)
R | 94 min | Comedy
Two straight men mistakenly end up on a "gays only" cruise.
Director: Mort Nathan | Stars: Cuba Gooding Jr., Horatio Sanz, Roselyn Sanchez, Vivica A. Fox
Votes: 32,360 | Gross: $8.59M
"Boat Trip" arrives preceded by publicity saying many homosexuals have been outraged by the film. Now that it's in theaters, everybody else has a chance to join them. Not that the film is outrageous. That would be asking too much. It is dim-witted, unfunny, too shallow to be offensive, and way too conventional to use all of those people standing around in the background wearing leather and chains and waiting hopefully for their cues. This is a movie made for nobody, about nothing."
24. Body of Evidence (1992)
R | 99 min | Drama, Thriller
A lawyer defends a woman accused of killing her older lover by having sex with him.
Director: Uli Edel | Stars: Madonna, Willem Dafoe, Joe Mantegna, Anne Archer
Votes: 16,368 | Gross: $13.28M
"What about the story here? It has to be seen to be believed -- something I do not advise. There's all kinds of murky plot debris involving nasal spray with cocaine in it, ghosts from the past, bizarre sex, and lots of nudity. We are asked to believe that Madonna lives on a luxury houseboat, where she parades in front of the windows naked at all hours, yet somehow doesn't attract a crowd, not even of appreciative lobstermen."
25. The Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day (2009)
R | 118 min | Action, Crime, Thriller
The MacManus brothers are living a quiet life in Ireland with their father, but when they learn that their beloved priest has been killed by mob forces, they go back to Boston to bring justice to those responsible and avenge the priest.
Director: Troy Duffy | Stars: Sean Patrick Flanery, Norman Reedus, Billy Connolly, Clifton Collins Jr.
Votes: 66,876 | Gross: $10.27M
"Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day" is an idiotic ode to macho horseshite (to employ an ancient Irish word)... The lads borrow a page from their old Poppy and don leather vests with build-in holsters for either four or six handguns, I forget. These they typically use while leaping in slo-mo off concealed trampolines while firing two guns each at the camera. If they always jump side by side, does that make it harder for their enemies to miss at least one? Can you fly forward through the air while firing two heavy-duty handguns without your arms jerking back and smacking you in the chin? Would that violate one of Newton's laws? Just askin'."
26. The Bounty Hunter (I) (2010)
PG-13 | 110 min | Action, Comedy, Romance
A bounty hunter learns that his next target is his ex-wife, a reporter working on a murder cover-up. Soon after their reunion, the always-at-odds duo find themselves on a run-for-their-lives adventure.
Director: Andy Tennant | Stars: Jennifer Aniston, Gerard Butler, Gio Perez, Joel Marsh Garland
Votes: 134,305 | Gross: $67.06M
"I stared with glazed eyes at "The Bounty Hunter." Here is a film with no need to exist. Among its sins is the misuse of Jennifer Aniston, who can be and has been very funny, but not in dreck like this. Lacking any degree of character development, it handcuffs her to a plot of exhausted action comedy cliches -- and also to a car door and a bed."
27. Breaking the Rules (1992)
PG-13 | 100 min | Comedy, Drama
Two friends take their dying buddy on one last road trip.
Director: Neal Israel | Stars: Jason Bateman, C. Thomas Howell, Jonathan Silverman, Annie Potts
Votes: 736
"The movie has to be seen to be believed. It is a long, painful lapse of taste, tone, and ordinary human feeling. Perhaps it was made by beings from another planet, who were able to watch our television in order to absorb key concepts such as cars, sex, leukemia and casinos, but formed an imperfect view of how to fit them together... One appalling scene follows another... Was there no one to cry out, "Stop this madness?" No one to read the script and see that it was without sense or sensibility?"
28. The Brood (1979)
R | 92 min | Horror, Sci-Fi
A man tries to uncover an unconventional psychologist's therapy techniques on his institutionalized wife, amidst a series of brutal murders.
Director: David Cronenberg | Stars: Oliver Reed, Samantha Eggar, Art Hindle, Henry Beckman
Votes: 34,269
"Now here's a particularly nasty little number. "The Brood" is an el sleazo exploitation film, camouflaged by the presence of several well-known stars but guaranteed to nauseate you all the same. That's after it bores you first."
29. The Bucket List (2007)
PG-13 | 97 min | Adventure, Comedy, Drama
Two terminally ill men escape from a cancer ward and head off on a road trip with a wish list of to-dos before they die.
Director: Rob Reiner | Stars: Jack Nicholson, Morgan Freeman, Sean Hayes, Beverly Todd
Votes: 259,662 | Gross: $93.47M
"The Bucket List" is a movie about two old codgers who are nothing like people, both suffering from cancer that is nothing like cancer, and setting off on adventures that are nothing like possible. I urgently advise hospitals: Do not make the DVD available to your patients; there may be an outbreak of bedpans thrown at TV screens."
30. Caligula (1979)
Unrated | 156 min | Drama, History
A dramatization of the ascent to Caesar and subsequent reign of Caligula, one of the most notorious leaders of ancient Rome. We see his ambition, his scheming, his perversion and decadence, his brutality and his lunacy.
Director: Tinto Brass | Stars: Malcolm McDowell, Peter O'Toole, Helen Mirren, Teresa Ann Savoy
Votes: 38,320 | Gross: $23.44M
"Caligula" is sickening, utterly worthless, shameful trash. If it is not the worst film I have ever seen, that makes it all the more shameful: People with talent allowed themselves to participate in this travesty. Disgusted and unspeakably depressed, I walked out of the film after two hours of its 170-minute length. That was on Saturday night, as a line of hundreds of people stretched down Lincoln Ave., waiting to pay $7.50 apiece to become eyewitnesses to shame. I wanted to tell them ... what did I want to tell them? What I'm telling you now. That this film is not only garbage on an artistic level, but that it is also garbage on the crude and base level where it no doubt hopes to find its audience. "Caligula" is not good art, It is not good cinema, and it is not good porn."
31. Camille 2000 (1969)
R | 115 min | Drama, Romance
In Rome, a drug-addicted courtesan falls in love with a man who insists that she gives up her lavish, orgiastic lifestyle for fidelity, but tragedy soon ensures.
Director: Radley Metzger | Stars: Danièle Gaubert, Nino Castelnuovo, Eleonora Rossi Drago, Roberto Bisacco
Votes: 836
"Camille 2000" is shot in color. It is dubbed into English instead of subtitled. It is wide screen. It has a pretty girl in it. Her name is Daniele Gaubert. Whoever painted that big sign in front of the theater has an accurate critical sense. The sign says: "See Daniele Gaubert presented in the nude ... and with great frequency." That captures the essence of Metzger's art."
32. The Cannonball Run (1981)
PG | 95 min | Action, Comedy, Sport
A wide variety of eccentric competitors participate in a wild and illegal cross-country road race. However, the eccentric entrants will do anything to win the road race, including low-down, dirty tricks.
Director: Hal Needham | Stars: Burt Reynolds, Roger Moore, Farrah Fawcett, Dom DeLuise
Votes: 39,909 | Gross: $72.18M
"THE CANNONBALL RUN is an abdication of artistic responsibility at the lowest possible level of ambition. In other words, they didn't even care enough to make a good lousy movie. CANNONBALL was probably always intended as junk, as an easy exploitation picture. But it's possible to bring some sense of style and humor even to grade-zilch material. This movie doesn't even seem to be trying."
33. Catwoman (2004)
PG-13 | 104 min | Action, Crime, Fantasy
A shy woman, endowed with the speed, reflexes, and senses of a cat, walks a thin line between criminal and hero, even as a detective doggedly pursues her, fascinated by both of her personas.
Director: Pitof | Stars: Halle Berry, Sharon Stone, Benjamin Bratt, Lambert Wilson
Votes: 125,737 | Gross: $40.20M
"She becomes Catwoman, but what is a catwoman? She can leap like a cat, strut around on top of her furniture, survive great falls and hiss. Berry looks great doing these things, and spends a lot of time on all fours, inspiring our almost unseemly gratitude for her cleavage. She gobbles down tuna and sushi. Her eyes have vertical pupils instead of round ones. She sleeps on a shelf. The movie doesn't get into the litter box situation. What does she think about all of this?"
34. Che! (1969)
PG | 96 min | Biography, Drama, History
An intentionally noncommittal version of the Cuban revolution told through flashbacks, the film recounts Che's switch from doctor to politico in Castro's campaign.
Director: Richard Fleischer | Stars: Omar Sharif, Jack Palance, Cesare Danova, Robert Loggia
Votes: 1,079 | Gross: $5.45M
"From the beginning, it sounded like a bad dream. Hollywood was making a movie about Che Guevera. Why? Probably because somebody smelled easy money, having been inspired by the sales figures on Che posters. That must have been the reason, because "Che!" is abundant evidence that no one connected with this stinkeroo gave a damn about Che Guevera, Fidel Castro, the Cuban Revolution or anything else requiring more than five seconds' thought."
35. Christopher Columbus: The Discovery (1992)
PG-13 | 120 min | Adventure, Biography, Drama
Genoese navigator overcomes intrigue in the court of King Ferdinand and Queen Isabella of Spain and gains financing for his expedition to the East Indies.
Director: John Glen | Stars: Marlon Brando, Tom Selleck, Georges Corraface, Rachel Ward
Votes: 3,224 | Gross: $8.25M
"Columbus encounters friendly Indians, of which one -- the chief's daughter -- is positioned, bare-breasted, in the center of every composition. (I believe the chief's daughter is chosen by cup size.) Columbus sails back to Europe and the story is over. Another Columbus movie is promised us this fall. It cannot be worse than this. I especially look forward to the chief's daughter."
36. Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant (2009)
PG-13 | 109 min | Action, Adventure, Fantasy
Teenager Darren Shan meets a mysterious man at a freak show who turns out to be a vampire. After a series of events, Darren must leave his normal life and go on the road with the Cirque du Freak, becoming a creature of the night.
Director: Paul Weitz | Stars: Chris Massoglia, John C. Reilly, Salma Hayek, Josh Hutcherson
Votes: 48,055 | Gross: $14.05M
"Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant" includes good Vampires, 'evil Vampanese, a Wolf-Man, a Bearded Lady, a Monkey Girl with a long tail, a Snake Boy, a dwarf with a 4-foot forehead and a spider the size of your shoe, and they're all boring as hell. The movie has good special effects and suitably gruesome characters, but it's bloodless. It's also a mess..."
37. Constantine (2005)
R | 121 min | Action, Fantasy, Horror
Supernatural exorcist and demonologist John Constantine helps a policewoman prove her sister's death was not a suicide, but something more.
Director: Francis Lawrence | Stars: Keanu Reeves, Rachel Weisz, Djimon Hounsou, Shia LaBeouf
Votes: 373,828 | Gross: $75.98M
"The forces of hell manifest themselves in many ways. One victim is eaten by flies. A young girl is possessed by a devil, and Constantine shouts, "I need a mirror! Now! At least three feet high!" He can capture the demon in the mirror and throw it out the window, see, although you wonder why supernatural beings would have such low-tech security holes."
38. Cop Out (2010)
R | 107 min | Action, Comedy, Crime
Jimmy's rare baseball card is robbed. Since it's his only hope to pay for his daughter's upcoming wedding, he recruits his cop partner Paul to track down the robber, a memorabilia-obsessed gangster.
Director: Kevin Smith | Stars: Bruce Willis, Tracy Morgan, Juan Carlos Hernández, Cory Fernandez
Votes: 90,332 | Gross: $44.88M
"Cop Out" tells your standard idiotic story about buddy cops who screw up, get suspended by the captain and redeem themselves by overthrowing a drug operation while searching for the valuable baseball card Jimmy wants to sell to pay for his daughter's wedding. Paul spends an unreasonable amount of time dressed as a cell phone, considering there is nothing to prevent him from taking it off."
39. Corky Romano (2001)
PG-13 | 86 min | Comedy, Crime
The loser son of a Mafia honcho must go undercover for the FBI.
Director: Rob Pritts | Stars: Chris Kattan, Peter Falk, Vinessa Shaw, Peter Berg
Votes: 13,726 | Gross: $23.98M
"...It's a desperately unfunny gangster spoof... "Corky Romano" is like a dead zone of comedy. The concept is exhausted, the ideas are tired, the physical gags are routine, the story is labored, the actors look like they can barely contain their doubts about the project."
40. Critters 2 (1988)
PG-13 | 86 min | Comedy, Horror, Sci-Fi
Eggs of the small but voracious alien creatures called Crites are left behind on earth and, after hatching, set their appetites on the small farm town of Grover's Bend.
Director: Mick Garris | Stars: Scott Grimes, Liane Curtis, Terrence Mann, Don Keith Opper
Votes: 16,830 | Gross: $3.81M
"Critters 2: The Main Course" is a movie about furry little hand puppets with lots of teeth, who are held up to salad bars by invisible puppeteers while large numbers of actors scream and pronounce unlikely dialogue."
41. Cyborg (1989)
R | 86 min | Action, Sci-Fi, Thriller
A martial artist hunts a killer in a plague-infested urban dump of the future.
Director: Albert Pyun | Stars: Jean-Claude Van Damme, Deborah Richter, Vincent Klyn, Alex Daniels
Votes: 34,174 | Gross: $10.17M
"The movie takes place in a future world in which all civilization has been reduced to a few phony movie sets. Leather-clad neo-Nazis stalk through the ruins, beating each other senseless and talking in Pulpspeak, which is like English, but without the grace and modulation. It's cold in the future, and it's wet, but never so cold or wet that the costumes do not bare the arm muscles of the men and the heaving bosoms of the women."
42. Daddy Day Care (2003)
PG | 92 min | Comedy, Family
Two men named Charlie Hinton and Phil Ryerson get laid off and have to become stay-at-home fathers when they can't find jobs. This inspires them to open their own day care center.
Director: Steve Carr | Stars: Eddie Murphy, Jeff Garlin, Anjelica Huston, Steve Zahn
Votes: 73,709 | Gross: $104.30M
"Daddy Day Care" is a woeful miscalculation, a film so wrong-headed audiences will be more appalled than amused. It imagines Eddie Murphy and sidekick Jeff Garlin in charge of a day-care center that could only terrify parents in the audience, although it may look like fun for their children. The center's philosophy apparently consists of letting kids do whatever they feel like, while the amateur staff delivers one-liners."
43. Death Race (2008)
R | 105 min | Action, Sci-Fi, Thriller
Ex-con Jensen Ames is forced by the warden of a notorious prison to compete in our post-industrial world's most popular sport: a car race in which inmates must brutalize and kill one another on the road to victory.
Director: Paul W.S. Anderson | Stars: Jason Statham, Joan Allen, Tyrese Gibson, Ian McShane
Votes: 218,773 | Gross: $36.32M
"Hitchcock said a movie should play the audience like a piano. “Death Race” played me like a drum. It is an assault on all the senses, including common. Walking out, I had the impression I had just seen the video game and was still waiting for the movie."
44. Death Race 2000 (1975)
R | 80 min | Action, Comedy, Sci-Fi
In a dystopian future, a cross country automobile race requires contestants to run down innocent pedestrians to gain points that are tallied based on each kill's brutality.
Director: Paul Bartel | Stars: David Carradine, Sylvester Stallone, Simone Griffeth, Mary Woronov
Votes: 30,845 | Gross: $8.00M
"This is a film about a futuristic cross‑country race in which the winner is determined, not merely by his speed, but also by the number of pedestrians he kills. You get 100 points for someone in a wheelchair, 70 points for the aged, 50 points for kids and so on... Well, folks, the theater was up for grabs. The audience was at least half small children, and they loved it. They'd never seen anything so funny, I guess, and I was torn between walking out immediately and staying to witness a spectacle more dismaying than anything on the screen: the way small children were digging gratuitous bloodshed."
45. Death Wish II (1982)
R | 89 min | Action, Crime, Drama
Architect Paul Kersey once again becomes a vigilante when he tries to find the five street punks who murdered his daughter and housekeeper, this time on the dark streets of Los Angeles.
Director: Michael Winner | Stars: Charles Bronson, Jill Ireland, Vincent Gardenia, J.D. Cannon
Votes: 18,095 | Gross: $16.10M
"What's most shocking about "Death Wish II" is the lack of artistry and skill in the filmmaking. The movie is underwritten and desperately underplotted, so that its witless action scenes alternate with lobotomized dialogue passages. The movie doesn't contain an ounce of life. It slinks onto the screen and squirms for a while, and is over."
46. Deathmaster (1972)
PG | 84 min | Horror
Quarry is a mysterious, articulate stranger who draws a cult like following of local hippies. Rather than showing them peace and love, he has more sinister plans for them, as he is a vampire.
Director: Ray Danton | Stars: Robert Quarry, Bill Ewing, Brenda Dickson, John Fiedler
Votes: 411
"These people are not very bright. They are so dumb, in fact, that they have had to learn to speak the English language by watching old AIP exploitation movies, and their dialog is eight years out of date. They talk like Frankie Avalon trying to pass for hip, translated from the German. Count Khorda (for such is his name) makes them a proposition: "Would you like to trade a lifetime of petty passions for an eternity of ecstasy," They would, I guess. Well, wouldn't you?"
47. Deep Rising (1998)
R | 106 min | Action, Adventure, Horror
A group of heavily armed hijackers board a luxury ocean liner in the South Pacific Ocean to loot it, only to do battle with a series of large-sized, tentacled, man-eating sea creatures who had already invaded the ship.
Director: Stephen Sommers | Stars: Treat Williams, Famke Janssen, Anthony Heald, Kevin J. O'Connor
Votes: 40,752 | Gross: $11.20M
"The owner of the ship (Anthony Heald) makes several speeches boasting about how stable it is; it can stay level even during a raging tempest. I wonder if those speeches were inserted after the filmmakers realized how phony their special effects look. Every time we see the ship, it's absolutely immobile in the midst of churning waves."
48. Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo (2005)
R | 83 min | Comedy
Deuce is tricked again into man-whoring by T.J., only in Amsterdam while other man-whores are being murdered in his midst.
Director: Mike Bigelow | Stars: Rob Schneider, Eddie Griffin, Jeroen Krabbé, Til Schweiger
Votes: 53,360 | Gross: $22.26M
"Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo" makes a living prostituting himself. How much he charges I'm not sure, but the price is worth it if it keeps him off the streets and out of another movie. "Deuce Bigalow" is aggressively bad, as if it wants to cause suffering to the audience. The best thing about it is that it runs for only 75 minutes.... Speaking in my official capacity as a Pulitzer Prize winner, Mr. Schneider, your movie sucks."
49. The Devil's Rain (1975)
PG | 86 min | Horror
A satanist cult leader is burnt alive by the local church. He vows to come back to hunt down and enslave every descendant of his congregation, by the power of the book of blood contracts, in which they sold their souls to the devil.
Director: Robert Fuest | Stars: Ernest Borgnine, Eddie Albert, Ida Lupino, William Shatner
Votes: 5,090
"But . . . what IS the Devil's Rain? This is a question frequently asked in "The Devil's Rain" and, believe me, frequently answered. Picture it this way: All the good things of life are on one side of a sheet of plate glass, and you're on the other, and it's raining on your side, bunky."
50. Did You Hear About the Morgans? (2009)
PG-13 | 103 min | Comedy, Drama, Romance
In New York City, an estranged couple who witness a murder are relocated to small town Wyoming as part of the Witness Protection Program.
Director: Marc Lawrence | Stars: Hugh Grant, Sarah Jessica Parker, Sam Elliott, Elisabeth Moss
Votes: 42,770 | Gross: $29.58M
"What possible reason was there for anyone to make "Did You Hear About the Morgans?" Or should I say "remake," because this movie has been made and over and over again, and oh, so much better."
51. Doom (2005)
R | 105 min | Action, Horror, Sci-Fi
Space Marines are sent to investigate strange events at a research facility on Mars but find themselves at the mercy of genetically enhanced killing machines.
Director: Andrzej Bartkowiak | Stars: Karl Urban, Rosamund Pike, Dwayne Johnson, Deobia Oparei
Votes: 118,632 | Gross: $28.21M
"Toward the end of the movie, there is a lengthy point-of-view shot looking forward over the barrel of a large weapon as it tracks the corridors of the research station. Monsters jump out from behind things and are blasted to death, in a sequence that abandons all attempts at character and dialogue and uncannily resembles a video game. Later, when the names of the actors appear on the screen, they are also blasted into little pieces. I forget whether the director, Andrzej Bartkowiak, had his name shot to smithereens, but for the DVD, I recommend that a monster grab it and eat it."
52. The Dukes of Hazzard (2005)
PG-13 | 104 min | Comedy
Cousins Bo, Luke, and Daisy Duke, and their uncle Jesse, egg on the authorities of Hazzard County, Boss Hogg and Sheriff Coltrane.
Director: Jay Chandrasekhar | Stars: Seann William Scott, Johnny Knoxville, Jessica Simpson, Alice Greczyn
Votes: 81,847 | Gross: $80.27M
"It's a retread of a sitcom that ran from about 1979 to 1985, years during which I was able to find better ways to pass my time. Yes, it is still another TV program I have never ever seen. As this list grows, it provides more and more clues about why I am so smart and cheerful.... Here is a lame-brained, outdated wheeze about a couple of good ol' boys who roar around the back roads of the South in the General Lee, their beloved 1969 Dodge Charger. As it happens, I also drove a 1969 Dodge Charger. You could have told them apart because mine did not have a Confederate flag painted on the roof.... Bo and Luke are involved in a mishap that causes their faces to be blackened with soot, and then, wouldn't you know, they drive into an African-American neighborhood, where their car is surrounded by ominous young men who are not amused by blackface, or by the Confederate flag painted on the car. I was hoping maybe the boyz n the hood would carjack the General, which would provide a fresh twist to the story, but no, the scene sinks into the mire of its own despond."
53. Dungeons & Dragons (2000)
PG-13 | 107 min | Action, Adventure, Fantasy
Profion, a tyrant, attempts to overthrow a peaceful kingdom ruled by a tough empress.
Director: Courtney Solomon | Stars: Justin Whalin, Jeremy Irons, Zoe McLellan, Bruce Payne
Votes: 36,254 | Gross: $15.22M
"Dungeons & Dragons" looks like they threw away the game and photographed the box it came in. It's an amusing movie to look at, in its own odd way, but close your eyes and the dialogue sounds like an overwrought junior high school play... The plot does not defy description, but it discourages it..."
54. Easy Come, Easy Go (1967)
PG | 95 min | Adventure, Comedy, Music
Navy frogman, Ted Jackson (Elvis Presley), balances his time between twin careers as a deep sea diver and nightclub singer. During a dive, Ted spots sunken treasure and returns with hope to retrieve it.
Director: John Rich | Stars: Elvis Presley, Dodie Marshall, Pat Priest, Pat Harrington Jr.
Votes: 1,874 | Gross: $4.25M
"Elvis looks about the same as he always has, with his chubby face, petulant scowl and absolutely characterless features. Here is one guy the wax museums will have no trouble getting right. He sings a lot, but I won't go into that. What I will say, however is that after two dozen movies he should have learned to talk by now."
55. Enough (I) (2002)
PG-13 | 115 min | Crime, Drama, Thriller
After running away fails, a terrified woman empowers herself in order to battle her abusive husband.
Director: Michael Apted | Stars: Jennifer Lopez, Billy Campbell, Tessa Allen, Juliette Lewis
Votes: 47,719 | Gross: $40.01M
"Enough" is a nasty item masquerading as a feminist revenge picture. It's a step or two above "I Spit On Your Grave," but uses the same structure, in which a man victimizes a woman for the first half of the film, and then the woman turns the tables in an extended sequence of graphic violence. It's surprising to see a director like Michael Apted and an actress like Jennifer Lopez associated with such tacky material."
56. Erik the Viking (1989)
PG-13 | 107 min | Adventure, Comedy, Fantasy
Erik the Viking and his men travel across the sea to find Valhalla to ask the gods to end the Age of Ragnarok.
Director: Terry Jones | Stars: Tim Robbins, John Cleese, Mickey Rooney, Eartha Kitt
Votes: 14,474 | Gross: $1.93M
"Every once in a while a movie comes along that makes me feel like a human dialysis machine. The film goes into my mind, which removes its impurities, and then it evaporates into thin air. "Erik the Viking" is a movie like that, an utterly worthless exercise in waste and wretched excess, uninformed by the slightest spark of humor, wit or coherence."
57. Exit to Eden (1994)
R | 113 min | Comedy, Crime, Romance
Elliot heads for the sexual fantasy island, Eden. He takes some photos of diamond smugglers. They and undercover cops want the photos and follow him to Eden.
Director: Garry Marshall | Stars: Dana Delany, Dan Aykroyd, Rosie O'Donnell, Paul Mercurio
Votes: 7,326 | Gross: $6.84M
"...It's supposed to be a kinky sex comedy, but it keeps getting distracted. On the first page of my notes, I wrote "Starts slow." On the second page, I wrote "Boring." On the third page, I wrote "Endless!" On the fourth page, I wrote: "Bite-size Shredded Wheat, skim milk, cantaloupe, frozen peas, toilet paper, salad stuff, pick up laundry." The movie is based on a novel by Anne Rice, who is said to know a lot about bizarre sexual practices. Either she learned it all after writing this book, or the director, Garry Marshall, just didn't have his heart in it. The movie is not only dumb and illconstructed, but tragically miscast. The actors look so uncomfortable they could be experiencing alarming intestinal symptoms."
58. The Exterminator (1980)
R | 104 min | Action, Crime, Drama
A man's best friend is killed on the streets of New York City. The man (Robert Ginty) then transforms into a violent killer, turning New York City into a great war zone, and Christopher George is the only one to stop him.
Director: James Glickenhaus | Stars: Robert Ginty, Samantha Eggar, Christopher George, Steve James
Votes: 6,547
"“The Exterminator” is a sick example of the almost unbelievable descent into gruesome savagery in American movies. It's a direct rip-off of “Death Wish,” a 1974 Charles Bronson hit about a man who kills muggers to avenge the death of his wife. “Death Wish” was violent, yes, but it remained within certain boundaries. It established a three-dimensional character, it gave him reasons for his actions, it allowed us to sympathize with those reasons and yet still disapprove of the murders he was committing. “The Exterminator” does none of those things. It is essentially just a sadistic exercise in moronic violence, supported by a laughable plot."
59. Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas (1998)
R | 118 min | Adventure, Comedy, Drama
An oddball journalist and his psychopathic lawyer travel to Las Vegas for a series of psychedelic escapades.
Director: Terry Gilliam | Stars: Johnny Depp, Benicio Del Toro, Tobey Maguire, Michael Lee Gogin
Votes: 301,263 | Gross: $10.68M
"...Both Duke and the Doctor are one-dimensional walking chemistry sets, lacking the perspective on themselves that they have in both the book and the strip. The result is a horrible mess of a movie, without shape, trajectory or purpose--a one joke movie, if it had one joke."
60. The First Time (1969)
PG-13 | 90 min | Comedy, Drama
Three teen guys decide to lose their virginity. Some really want to and some are peer pressured into it.
Director: James Neilson | Stars: Jacqueline Bisset, Wes Stern, Rickey Kelman, Wink Roberts
Votes: 566
"The people who made "The First Time" must have been born at the age of 40, about 30 years ago. This is a movie about three teenage kids and how one of them makes love for the first time -- and not a single second of the movie, not one, is an accurate portrait of young men at that age. I gather the kids are around 16 or 17 years old. Yet they have the personalities of 13-year-olds, the emotions of 9-year-olds, the naivete of 6-year-olds, the mannerisms of child stars and the vocabularies of teenagers circa 1916. Booth Tarkington surpassed this movie in daring and psychological depth when he wrote "Penrod" 50 years ago."
61. Flashdance (1983)
R | 95 min | Drama, Music, Romance
An 18-year-old female amateur dancer who performs nightly at a dancing bar, and works as a welder during the day, dreams of joining the Pittsburgh ballet school.
Director: Adrian Lyne | Stars: Jennifer Beals, Michael Nouri, Lilia Skala, Sunny Johnson
Votes: 59,461 | Gross: $94.90M
"Flashdance" is like a movie that won a free 90-minute shopping spree in the Hollywood supermarket. The director (Adrian Lynn, of the much better "Foxes") and his collaborators race crazily down the aisles, grabbing a piece of "Saturday Night Fever," a slice of "Urban Cowboy," a quart of "Marty" and a 2-pound box of "Archie Bunker's Place." The result is great sound and flashdance, signifying nothing."
62. Freddy Got Fingered (2001)
R | 87 min | Comedy
An unemployed cartoonist moves back in with his parents and younger brother Freddy. When his parents demand he leave, he begins to spread rumors that his father is sexually abusing Freddy.
Director: Tom Green | Stars: Tom Green, Rip Torn, Marisa Coughlan, Eddie Kaye Thomas
Votes: 51,309 | Gross: $14.25M
"This movie doesn't scrape the bottom of the barrel. This movie isn't the bottom of the barrel. This movie isn't below the bottom of the barrel. This movie doesn't deserve to be mentioned in the same sentence with barrels.... The day may come when "Freddy Got Fingered" is seen as a milestone of neo-surrealism. The day may never come when it is seen as funny."
63. Friends (1971)
R | 101 min | Drama, Romance
A rich English boy meets an orphaned French girl and as they become friends, create a world that is far away from the adult world we live in.
Director: Lewis Gilbert | Stars: Sean Bury, Anicée Alvina, Ronald Lewis, Toby Robins
Votes: 1,129
"Friends" is the most sickening piece of corrupt slop I've seen in a long time. It's so cynical in its manipulation of youth, innocence, sunsets and all the rest that you squirm with embarrassment. And the movie is all the more horrible because you realize that its maker, Lewis Gilbert, no doubt intended this to be a "sincere personal statement" (as they say in the movies) after his "commercial" projects like "The Adventurers" and "You Only Live Twice."
64. Frozen Assets (1992)
PG-13 | 96 min | Comedy
A man is hired to run a bank which turns out to be a sperm bank.
Director: George Miller | Stars: Shelley Long, Corbin Bernsen, Larry Miller, Dody Goodman
Votes: 586 | Gross: $0.38M
"I didn't feel like a viewer during "Frozen Assets." I felt like an eyewitness at a disaster. If I were more of a hero, I would spend the next couple of weeks breaking into theaters where this movie is being shown, and leading the audience to safety. And if I'd been an actor in the film, I would wonder why all of the characters in "Frozen Assets" seem dumber than the average roadkill... Here is a movie to watch in appalled silence. To call it one of the year's worst would be a kindness."
65. G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra (2009)
PG-13 | 118 min | Action, Adventure, Sci-Fi
An elite military unit comprised of special operatives known as G.I. Joe, operating out of The Pit, takes on an evil organization led by a notorious arms dealer.
Director: Stephen Sommers | Stars: Dennis Quaid, Channing Tatum, Marlon Wayans, Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje
Votes: 214,947 | Gross: $152.27M
"G. I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra" is a 118-minute animated film with sequences involving the faces and other body parts of human beings. It is sure to be enjoyed by those whose movie appreciation is defined by the ability to discern that moving pictures and sound are being employed to depict violence. Nevertheless, it is better than "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen."
66. Gods and Generals (2003)
PG-13 | 219 min | Biography, Drama, History
The rise and fall of confederate general Thomas "Stonewall" Jackson, as he meets with military success against the Union from 1861 to 1863, when he is accidentally killed by his own soldiers.
Director: Ron Maxwell | Stars: Stephen Lang, Robert Duvall, Jeff Daniels, Donzaleigh Abernathy
Votes: 17,194 | Gross: $12.87M
"Here is a Civil War movie that Trent Lott might enjoy. Less enlightened than "Gone With the Wind," obsessed with military strategy, impartial between South and North, religiously devout, it waits 70 minutes before introducing the first of its two speaking roles for African Americans; "Stonewall" Jackson assures his black cook that the South will free him, and the cook looks cautiously optimistic. If World War II were handled this way, there'd be hell to pay."
67. Godzilla (I) (1998)
PG-13 | 139 min | Action, Sci-Fi, Thriller
French nuclear tests irradiate an iguana into a giant monster that heads off to New York City. The American military must chase the monster across the city to stop it before it reproduces.
Director: Roland Emmerich | Stars: Matthew Broderick, Jean Reno, Maria Pitillo, Hank Azaria
Votes: 203,387 | Gross: $136.31M
"CANNES, France--Going to see "Godzilla" at the Palais of the Cannes Film Festival is like attending a satanic ritual in St. Peter's Basilica. It's a rebuke to the faith that the building represents. Cannes touchingly adheres to a belief that film can be intelligent, moving and grand. "Godzilla" is a big, ugly, ungainly device to give teenagers the impression they are seeing a movie. It was the festival's closing film, coming at the end like the horses in a parade, perhaps for the same reason."
68. Goodbye Uncle Tom (1971)
Unrated | 123 min | Drama
Two documentary filmmakers go back in time to the pre-Civil War American South, to film the slave trade.
Directors: Gualtiero Jacopetti, Franco Prosperi | Stars: Stefano Sibaldi, Susan Hampshire, Dick Gregory, Gualtiero Jacopetti
Votes: 1,749
"The vile little crud-squad of Jacopetti and Prosperi has been getting away with movies like "Farewell Uncle Tom" for so long now that maybe they think audiences will stomach anything. This time they don't even kid us that they're sincere; their vomit-bag of racism and perversion-mongering isn't even covered up with the usual slime of sanctimonious BS... Make no mistake. This movie itself humiliates its actors in the way the slaves were humiliated 200 years ago. A man without a hand is photographed shoving mash into his mouth from a trough. Very young girls are mocked in auction scenes. Pregnant women -- women who are really pregnant -- are corralled into a scene about the "breeding" of slaves. The fact that this film could find a booking in a legitimate motion-picture theater is depressing."
69. The Green Berets (1968)
G | 142 min | Drama, War
Col. Mike Kirby picks two teams of crack Green Berets for a mission in South Vietnam. First off is to build and control a camp that is trying to be taken by the enemy the second mission is to kidnap a North Vietnamese General.
Directors: Ray Kellogg, John Wayne, Mervyn LeRoy | Stars: John Wayne, David Janssen, Jim Hutton, Aldo Ray
Votes: 13,860 | Gross: $21.71M
"The Green Berets" simply will not do as a film about the war in Vietnam. It is offensive not only to those who oppose American policy but even to those who support it. At this moment in our history, locked in the longest and one of the most controversial wars we have ever fought, what we certainly do not need is a movie depicting Vietnam in terms of cowboys and Indians. That is cruel and dishonest and unworthy of the thousands who have died there."
70. The Grudge (2004)
PG-13 | 91 min | Horror, Mystery, Thriller
An American nurse living and working in Tokyo is exposed to a mysterious supernatural curse, one that locks a person in a powerful rage before claiming their life and spreading to another victim.
Director: Takashi Shimizu | Stars: Sarah Michelle Gellar, Jason Behr, Clea DuVall, William Mapother
Votes: 150,782 | Gross: $110.36M
"I eventually lost all patience. The movie may have some subterranean level on which the story strands connect and make sense, but it eluded me. The fragmented time structure is a nuisance, not a style. The house is not particularly creepy from an architectural point of view, and if it didn't have a crawl space under the eaves, the ghosts would have to jump out from behind sofas."
71. The Guardian (1990)
R | 92 min | Drama, Fantasy, Horror
A young couple with a newborn baby don't realize that the nanny they hired is a magical nymph who sacrifices infants to an evil tree.
Director: William Friedkin | Stars: Jenny Seagrove, Dwier Brown, Carey Lowell, Brad Hall
Votes: 6,385 | Gross: $17.04M
"Of the many threats to modern man documented in horror films - the slashers, the haunters, the body snatchers - the most innocent would seem to be the druids. What, after all, can a druid really do to you, apart from dropping fast-food wrappers on the lawn while worshipping your trees?"
72. Half Past Dead (2002)
PG-13 | 98 min | Action, Crime, Thriller
A man goes undercover in a hi-tech prison to find information to help prosecute those who killed his wife. While there he stumbles onto a plot involving a death-row inmate and his $200 million stash of gold.
Director: Don Michael Paul | Stars: Morris Chestnut, Steven Seagal, Matt Battaglia, Ja Rule
Votes: 16,733 | Gross: $15.36M
"Half Past Dead" is like an alarm that goes off while nobody is in the room. It does its job and stops, and nobody cares. It goes through the motions of an action thriller, but there is a deadness at its center, a feeling that no one connected with it loved what they were doing. There are moments, to be sure, when Ja Rule and Morris Chestnut seem to hear the music, but they're dancing by themselves."
73. Hatchet II (2010)
R | 85 min | Action, Comedy, Horror
Marybeth escapes the clutches of the bayou-butcher Victor Crowley and returns to the swamp with an army of hunters and gunmen, determined to end Crowley's reign of horror once and for all.
Director: Adam Green | Stars: Danielle Harris, Kane Hodder, Tony Todd, Parry Shen
Votes: 15,077 | Gross: $0.06M
"You want gore, you get gore. "Hatchet II" plays less like a slasher movie than like the highlight reel from a slasher movie. It comes billed as, I dunno, satire or homage. Homage it certainly is, to the tradition of movies where everyone starts out alive at the beginning and ends up pretty much dead at the end. If satire means doing what your target does but doing it twice as much, then it’s satire, too... There are many good movies opening this weekend. "Hatchet II" is not one of them. Tickets are not cheap and time is fleeting. Why would you choose this one? That’s a good topic for a long, thoughtful talk with yourself in the mirror."
74. Heaven's Gate (1980)
R | 219 min | Adventure, Drama, Western
During the Johnson County War in 1890 Wyoming, a sheriff born into wealth does his best to protect immigrant farmers from rich cattle interests.
Director: Michael Cimino | Stars: Kris Kristofferson, Christopher Walken, John Hurt, Sam Waterston
Votes: 17,126 | Gross: $3.48M
"know, I know: He's trying to demystify the West, and all those other things hotshot directors try to do when they don't really want to make a Western. But this movie is a study in wretched excess. It is so smoky, so dusty, so foggy, so unfocused and so brownish yellow that you want to try Windex on the screen. A director is in deep trouble when we do not even enjoy the primary act of looking at his picture.... This movie is $36 million thrown to the winds. It is the most scandalous cinematic waste I have ever seen, and remember, I've seen Paint Your Wagon."
75. Hell Night (1981)
R | 101 min | Horror, Thriller
Four college pledges are forced to spend the night in a deserted old mansion, where they are stalked by the monstrous survivor of a family massacre years earlier.
Director: Tom DeSimone | Stars: Linda Blair, Vincent Van Patten, Peter Barton, Kevin Brophy
Votes: 8,751
"It was that legendary Chicago film exhibitor Oscar Brotman who gave me one of my most useful lessons in the art of film-watching. "In ninety-nine films out of a hundred," Brotman told me, "if nothing has happened by the end of the first reel É nothing is going to happen." This rule, he said, had saved him countless hours over the years because he had walked out of movies after the first uneventful reel... I was running this conversation through my memory while watching HELL NIGHT. You know a movie is in trouble when what is happening on the screen inspires daydreams. I had lasted through the first reel, and nothing had happened. Now I was somewhere in the middle of the third reel, and still nothing had happened. By "nothing," by the way, I mean nothing original, unexpected, well-crafted, interestingly acted, or even excitingly violent. HELL NIGHT is a relentlessly lackluster example of the Dead Teenager Movie..."
76. Hellbound: Hellraiser II (1988)
R | 97 min | Horror, Thriller
Kirsty is brought to an institution after the horrible events of Hellraiser (1987), where the occult-obsessive head doctor resurrects Julia and unleashes the Cenobites and their demonic underworld.
Director: Tony Randel | Stars: Doug Bradley, Ashley Laurence, Clare Higgins, Kenneth Cranham
Votes: 56,061 | Gross: $11.09M
"Kirsty!" we hear. And "Tiffany!" And "Kirsty!!!" and "Tiffany!!!" And "Kirstiyyyyyyy!!!!!" And "Tiffanyyyyyyy!!!!!" I'm afraid this is another one of those movies that violates the First Rule of Repetition of Names, which states that when the same names are repeated in a movie more than four times a minute for more than three minutes in a row, the audience breaks out into sarcastic laughter, and some of the ruder members are likely to start shouting "Kirsty!" and "Tiffany!" at the screen."
77. The Hot Chick (2002)
PG-13 | 104 min | Comedy, Fantasy
An attractive and popular teenager, who is mean-spirited toward others, finds herself in the body of an older man, and must find a way to get back to her original body.
Director: Tom Brady | Stars: Rob Schneider, Rachel McAdams, Anna Faris, Matthew Lawrence
Votes: 102,513 | Gross: $35.08M
"The movie resolutely avoids all the comic possibilities of its situation, and becomes one more dumb high school comedy about sex gags and prom dates.... Through superhuman effort of the will, I did not walk out of "The Hot Chick," but reader, I confess I could not sit through the credits. The MPAA rates this PG-13. It is too vulgar for anyone under 13, and too dumb for anyone over 13."
78. How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days (2003)
PG-13 | 116 min | Comedy, Romance
Benjamin Barry is an advertising executive and ladies' man who, to win a big campaign, bets that he can make a woman fall in love with him in 10 days.
Director: Donald Petrie | Stars: Kate Hudson, Matthew McConaughey, Adam Goldberg, Kathryn Hahn
Votes: 269,577 | Gross: $105.81M
"..."How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days" is not, alas, pitched at that modest level of sophistication, and provides us with two young people who are like pawns in a sex game for the developmentally shortchanged... He puts up with this mistreatment because he has his own bet to win, and also because, doggone it, he has fallen in love with this vaporous fluffball of narcissistic cluelessness. That leaves only one big scene for us to anticipate, or dread: the inevitable moment when they both find out the other made a bet. At a moment like that, a reasonably intelligent couple would take a beat, start laughing, and head for the nearest hot-sheets haven. But no. These characters descend from the moribund fictional ideas of earlier decades, and must react in horror, run away in grief, prepare to leave town, etc., while we in the audience make our own bets, about their IQs."
79. I a Man (1967)
99 min | Drama
About a male hustler who talks with and sleeps with a series of women.
Directors: Paul Morrissey, Andy Warhol | Stars: Tom Baker, Nico, Valerie Solanas, Ingrid Superstar
Votes: 177
"..."I, a Man" is not a movie. It is an elaborate, deliberately boring joke... "I, a Man" is not dirty, or even funny, or even anything but a very long and pointless home movie. Tom Baker, the man, visits a series of women who talk to him about whatever occurs to them. The sound track is deliberately fuzzed up: You can't understand most of the dialog, which is apparently the idea and may even be an act of mercy. After 90 minutes of this, the movie is over and you can leave."
80. I Am David (2003)
PG | 90 min | Adventure, Drama
A twelve-year-old boy escapes from a Bulgarian Communist concentration camp and sets out on a journey to reach Denmark.
Director: Paul Feig | Stars: Ben Tibber, Jim Caviezel, Joan Plowright, Hristo Shopov
Votes: 8,126 | Gross: $0.28M
"I know, I know, I'm supposed to get sentimental about this heart-warming tale. But I couldn't believe a moment of it, and never identified with little David, who is played by young Ben Tibber as if he was lectured to mind his manners. In an era with one effective child performance after another, here is a bad one."
81. I Hate Valentine's Day (2009)
PG-13 | 98 min | Comedy, Romance
A florist, who abides by a strict five-date limit with any man, finds herself wanting more with the new restaurateur in town.
Director: Nia Vardalos | Stars: Nia Vardalos, John Corbett, Judah Friedlander, Stephen Guarino
Votes: 8,828 | Gross: $0.01M
"I Hate Valentine’s Day” is a romantic comedy with one peculiarity: The heroine is stark, staring mad... Yet she looks so sweet. And knows she does. Yes, this is the second movie in close to a month, after “My Life in Ruins,” in which Nia Vardalos goes through the entire film smiling brightly and almost continuously. Nobody smiles that much unless they suffer from the rare giocondaphobia, or Constantly Smiling Syndrome, a complaint more often seen among viewers of Rush Limbaugh and field hands in "Gone With the Wind"... The movie is set up as a valentine to Vardalos. She should try sending herself flowers."
82. I Know What You Did Last Summer (1997)
R | 101 min | Horror, Mystery
Four young friends bound by a tragic accident are reunited when they find themselves being stalked by a hook-wielding maniac in their small seaside town.
Director: Jim Gillespie | Stars: Jennifer Love Hewitt, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Anne Heche, Ryan Phillippe
Votes: 158,002 | Gross: $72.59M
"The best shot in this film is the first one. Not a good sign... The ads make much of the fact that ``I Know What You Did Last Summer'' is from ``the creators of `Scream.' '' That means both scripts are by Kevin Williamson. My bet is that he hauled this one out of the bottom drawer after ``Scream'' passed the $100 million mark... After the screening was over and the lights went up, I observed a couple of my colleagues in deep and earnest conversation, trying to resolve twists in the plot. They were applying more thought to the movie than the makers did. A critic's mind is a terrible thing to waste."
83. I Spit on Your Grave (1978)
R | 101 min | Horror, Thriller
An aspiring writer is repeatedly assaulted, humiliated, and left for dead by four men she systematically hunts down to seek revenge.
Director: Meir Zarchi | Stars: Camille Keaton, Eron Tabor, Richard Pace, Anthony Nichols
Votes: 31,159
"A vile bag of garbage named "I Spit on Your Grave" is playing in Chicago theaters this week. It is a movie so sick, reprehensible and contemptible that I can hardly believe it's playing in respectable theaters, such as Plitt's United Artists. But it is. Attending it was one of the most depressing experiences of, my life.... This is a film without a shred of artistic distinction."
84. I Spit on Your Grave (2010)
R | 108 min | Horror, Thriller
A writer who is brutalized during her cabin retreat seeks revenge on her attackers, who left her for dead.
Director: Steven R. Monroe | Stars: Sarah Butler, Jeff Branson, Andrew Howard, Daniel Franzese
Votes: 93,039 | Gross: $0.09M
"This despicable remake of the despicable 1978 film "I Spit on Your Grave" adds yet another offense: a phony moral equivalency. In the original, a woman foolishly thought to go on holiday by herself at a secluded cabin. She attracted the attention of depraved local men, who raped her, one after the other. Then the film ended with her fatal revenge. In this film, less time is devoted to the revenge, and more time to verbal, psychological and physical violence against her. Thus it works even better as vicarious cruelty against women."
85. I Still Know What You Did Last Summer (1998)
R | 100 min | Horror, Mystery, Thriller
The murderous fisherman with a hook is back to once again stalk the two surviving teens, Julie and Ray, who had left him for dead, as well as cause even more murder and mayhem, this time at a posh island resort.
Director: Danny Cannon | Stars: Jennifer Love Hewitt, Freddie Prinze Jr., Brandy Norwood, Mekhi Phifer
Votes: 78,625 | Gross: $40.00M
"Now that we've analyzed the tawdry tricks the movie uses to pound the audience like a Playskool workbench, is there anything else to be said about ``I Still Know What You Did Last Summer''? Not really. It contains no characters of any interest, no dialogue worth hearing, no originality of conception, no ambition other than to pocket the dollars of anyone unlucky enough to go to a movie named ``I Still Know What You Did Last Summer.'' When a movie begins, I imagine an empty room in my mind that is about to be filled. This movie left the room furnished only with dust and a few dead flies."
86. Jason X (2001)
R | 92 min | Action, Horror, Sci-Fi
Jason Voorhees is cryogenically frozen at the beginning of the 21st century, and is discovered in the 25th century and taken to space. He gets thawed, and begins stalking and killing the crew of the spaceship that's transporting him.
Director: James Isaac | Stars: Kane Hodder, Lexa Doig, Jeff Geddis, David Cronenberg
Votes: 61,483 | Gross: $13.12M
"This sucks on so many levels. --Dialogue from "Jason X" Rare for a movie to so frankly describe itself. "Jason X" sucks on the levels of storytelling, character development, suspense, special effects, originality, punctuation, neatness and aptness of thought. Only its title works."
87. Jeepers Creepers 2 (2003)
R | 104 min | Horror
Set a few days after the original, a championship basketball team's bus is attacked by The Creeper, the winged, flesh-eating terror, on the last day of his 23-day feeding frenzy.
Director: Victor Salva | Stars: Jonathan Breck, Ray Wise, Nicki Aycox, Garikayi Mutambirwa
Votes: 70,519 | Gross: $35.67M
"Victor Salva's "Jeepers Creepers 2" supplies us with a first-class creature, a fourth-rate story, and dialogue possibly created by feeding the screenplay into a pasta maker... To call the characters on the bus paper-thin would be a kindness. Too bad, then, that we spend so much time on the bus, listening to their wretched dialogue and watching as they race from one window to another to see what foul deeds are occurring outside... It is futile to bring logic to a film like this..."
88. Joe Dirt (2001)
PG-13 | 91 min | Adventure, Comedy, Drama
After being abandoned by his parents at the Grand Canyon, Joe Dirt tells the story of his journey to find his parents.
Director: Dennie Gordon | Stars: David Spade, Brittany Daniel, Dennis Miller, Adam Beach
Votes: 61,022 | Gross: $27.09M
"We professional movie critics count it a banner week when only one movie involves eating, falling into or being covered by excrement (or a cameo appearance by Carson Daly). We are not prudes. We are prepared to laugh. But what these movies, including "Joe Dirt," often do not understand is that the act of being buried in crap is not in and of itself funny."
89. Jungle 2 Jungle (1997)
PG | 105 min | Comedy, Family
A man learns he has a thirteen-year-old son who was raised in the jungle and brings the boy to New York City, turning his life upside down in the process.
Director: John Pasquin | Stars: Tim Allen, Martin Short, JoBeth Williams, Lolita Davidovich
Votes: 25,840 | Gross: $59.93M
"...no one is allowed to think in this movie. Not one single event in the entire plot can possibly take place unless every character in the cast has brains made of Bac-o-Bits. The plot of ``Jungle 2 Jungle'' has been removed from a French film called ``Little Indian, Big City.'' The operation was a failure and the patient dies. The only reason I am rating this movie at one star while ``Little Indian, Big City'' received zero stars is that ``Jungle 2 Jungle'' is too mediocre to deserve zero stars. It doesn't achieve truly awful badness, but is sort of a black hole for the attention span, sending us spiraling down into nothingness."
90. Just Friends (I) (2005)
PG-13 | 96 min | Comedy, Romance
While visiting his hometown during Christmas, a man comes face-to-face with his old high-school crush and best friend--a woman whose rejection of him turned him into a ferocious womanizer.
Director: Roger Kumble | Stars: Ryan Reynolds, Amy Smart, Anna Faris, Chris Klein
Votes: 127,199 | Gross: $32.62M
"In "Just Friends," Ryan Reynolds plays Chris, who looks like he gets his fat suits from Jiminy Glick's tailor. He wants to hook up with a sexy babe named Jamie, played by Amy Smart. Jamie likes Chris a whole lot, but only as a friend. When a girl says she likes you as a friend, what she means is: "Rather than have sex with you, I would prefer to lose you as a friend. Chris is crushed. In adventures that will no doubt he included in the deleted scenes segment of the DVD, he apparently moves to L.A., loses 150 pounds, becomes a hockey star, opens an account at SuperCuts and turns into a babe magnet... The problem with Chris is that although he's a cool dude in L.A., the moment he finds himself with Jamie again, he reverts to hapless dweebdom."
91. Just Go with It (2011)
PG-13 | 117 min | Comedy, Romance
On a weekend trip to Hawaii, a plastic surgeon convinces his loyal assistant to pose as his soon-to-be-divorced wife in order to cover up a careless lie he told to his much-younger girlfriend.
Director: Dennis Dugan | Stars: Adam Sandler, Jennifer Aniston, Brooklyn Decker, Nicole Kidman
Votes: 265,127 | Gross: $103.03M
"The people in this movie are dumber than a box of Tinkertoys. One fears they're so unfortunate it's not Politically Correct to laugh at them. That's not a problem because "Just Go With It" is so rarely funny... There is one funny scene in the movie. It involves a plastic surgery victim with roaming right eyebrow. You know the movie is in trouble when you find yourself missing the eyebrow."
92. Kick-Ass (2010)
R | 117 min | Action, Comedy, Crime
Dave Lizewski is an unnoticed high school student and comic book fan who one day decides to become a superhero, even though he has no powers, training or meaningful reason to do so.
Director: Matthew Vaughn | Stars: Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Nicolas Cage, Chloë Grace Moretz, Garrett M. Brown
Votes: 592,877 | Gross: $48.07M
"Shall I have feelings, or should I pretend to be cool? Will I seem hopelessly square if I find “Kick-Ass” morally reprehensible and will I appear to have missed the point? Let's say you're a big fan of the original comic book, and you think the movie does it justice. You know what? You inhabit a world I am so very not interested in. A movie camera makes a record of whatever is placed in front of it, and in this case, it shows deadly carnage dished out by an 11-year-old girl, after which an adult man brutally hammers her to within an inch of her life. Blood everywhere. Now tell me all about the context."
93. The Last Airbender (2010)
PG | 103 min | Action, Adventure, Family
Aang, a young successor to a long line of Avatars, must master all four elements and stop the Fire Nation from enslaving the Water Tribes and the Earth Kingdom.
Director: M. Night Shyamalan | Stars: Noah Ringer, Nicola Peltz Beckham, Jackson Rathbone, Dev Patel
Votes: 174,746 | Gross: $131.56M
"The Last Airbender" is an agonizing experience in every category I can think of and others still waiting to be invented. The laws of chance suggest that something should have gone right. Not here. It puts a nail in the coffin of low-rent 3D, but it will need a lot more coffins than that."
94. Last Rites (1988)
R | 103 min | Action, Crime, Drama
Angela, the beautiful Mexican mistress of a NY mobster, asks virginal Father Michael for protection after Zena, the mobster's wife, kills her cheating husband. Michael becomes torn between his vows, Angela and his sister - Zena.
Director: Donald P. Bellisario | Stars: Tom Berenger, Daphne Zuniga, Chick Vennera, Anne Twomey
Votes: 1,365 | Gross: $0.43M
"This is it - located at last and with only six weeks to spare - the worst film of 1988. "Last Rites" qualifies because it passes both acid tests: It is not only bad filmmaking, but it is offensive as well - offensive to my intelligence. Many films are bad. Only a few declare themselves the work of people deficient in taste, judgment, reason, tact, morality and common sense. Was there no one connected with this project who read the screenplay, considered the story, evaluated the proposed film and vomited?"
95. Battle of the Amazons (1973)
R | 100 min | Action, Fantasy
A tribe of vicious female warriors terrorizes the countryside, and especially the males, until one day the men and some local villagers decide to fight back.
Director: Alfonso Brescia | Stars: Lincoln Tate, Lucretia Love, Paola Tedesco, Mirta Miller
Votes: 242
"One thing is for sure: No movie in the last 20 years has been dubbed more ineptly. No, not even "Godzilla vs. the Smog Monster." In one scene, a man has his head split open with a ferocious blow from a sword. On the screen we see his lips opening in an anguished scream. On the soundtrack we hear him say, in English: "Oh, no!" It is possible to respect his opinion while questioning his sincerity. Another problem in the movie is that the actors who were hired to dub it into English have a hard time not laughing. There was one speech that went something like: "Zeno, surely you agree that no matter what Ilio, Antiope, Medio, Eraglia and Sinade say, Valeria is right!" Apart from the problems already enumerated above, an additional difficulty is that most of the pretty girls in the movie are Amazons. I had my own notions about why the men of her village would not fight to resist capture by the Amazons, but I kept them from Valeria. It's hard to be sure exactly when the movie takes place; there are spears and bows and arrows and swords, which suggests early times, but then again all of the women on both sides are fresh from the hair dryer. They also exhibit impressive technical advances in the art of brassiere-design."
96. The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (2003)
PG-13 | 110 min | Action, Adventure, Fantasy
In an alternate Victorian Age world, a group of famous contemporary fantasy, science fiction, and adventure characters team up on a secret mission.
Director: Stephen Norrington | Stars: Sean Connery, Stuart Townsend, Peta Wilson, Jason Flemyng
Votes: 183,850 | Gross: $66.47M
"The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen" assembles a splendid team of heroes to battle a plan for world domination, and then, just when it seems about to become a real corker of an adventure movie, plunges into incomprehensible action, idiotic dialogue, inexplicable motivations, causes without effects, effects without causes, and general lunacy. What a mess."
97. Life as We Know It (2010)
PG-13 | 114 min | Comedy, Drama, Romance
Two single adults become caregivers to an orphaned girl when their mutual best friends die in an accident.
Director: Greg Berlanti | Stars: Katherine Heigl, Josh Duhamel, Josh Lucas, Alexis Clagett
Votes: 138,850 | Gross: $53.37M
"Awww. Their best friends are killed in an auto accident, leaving behind their cute little 1-year-old daughter, Sophie. Holly Berenson and Eric Messer are appointed in the will as Sophie's joint custodians... So anyway, what happens in "Life As We Know It"? You'll never guess in a million years. Never. You might just as well give up right now. I don't like spoilers, so just let me say that Holly and Sam adopt Sophie and live happily ever after in the mansion. Awww."
98. A Lot Like Love (2005)
PG-13 | 107 min | Comedy, Drama, Romance
Unacquainted Emily and Oliver join the mile-high club together on the way from LAX to NYC--end of story. Except that they keep meeting constantly over the next seven years..
Director: Nigel Cole | Stars: Ashton Kutcher, Amanda Peet, Taryn Manning, Aimee Garcia
Votes: 71,180 | Gross: $21.84M
"Judging by their dialogue, Oliver and Emily have never read a book or a newspaper, seen a movie, watched TV, had an idea, carried on an interesting conversation or ever thought much about anything. The movie thinks they are cute and funny, which is embarrassing, like your uncle who won't stop with the golf jokes.... Later they Meet Cute again, walk into a bar, drink four shots of Jack Daniel's in one minute, and order a pitcher of beer. No, they're not alcoholics. This is just Movie Behavior; for example, at first she smokes and then she stops and then she starts again. That supplies her with a Personality Characteristic."
99. The Lovely Bones (2009)
PG-13 | 135 min | Drama, Fantasy, Thriller
Centers on a young girl who has been murdered and watches over her family - and her killer - from purgatory. She must weigh her desire for vengeance against her desire for her family to heal.
Director: Peter Jackson | Stars: Rachel Weisz, Mark Wahlberg, Saoirse Ronan, Susan Sarandon
Votes: 179,811 | Gross: $43.82M
"The Lovely Bones" is a deplorable film with this message: If you're a 14-year-old girl who has been brutally raped and murdered by a serial killer, you have a lot to look forward to. You can get together in heaven with the other teenage victims of the same killer, and gaze down in benevolence upon your family members as they mourn you and realize what a wonderful person you were. Sure, you miss your friends, but your fellow fatalities come dancing to greet you in a meadow of wildflowers, and how cool is that?"
100. Mad Dog Time (1996)
R | 93 min | Comedy, Crime, Drama
With his boss in the madhouse, a mobster is temporary boss of the criminal empire just as vicious rivals threaten the control of the empire.
Director: Larry Bishop | Stars: Michael J. Pollard, Henry Silva, Gabriel Byrne, Jeff Goldblum
Votes: 3,673 | Gross: $0.08M
"Mad Dog Time" is the first movie I have seen that does not improve on the sight of a blank screen viewed for the same length of time. Oh, I've seen bad movies before. But they usually made me care about how bad they were. Watching "Mad Dog Time" is like waiting for the bus in a city where you're not sure they have a bus line.... "Mad Dog Time" should be cut into free ukulele picks for the poor."
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