The Worst Movies of 2014
From bad to worst, in descending order, #10 being the absolute worst.
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- DirectorRidley ScottStarsChristian BaleJoel EdgertonBen KingsleyThe defiant leader Moses rises up against Egyptian Pharaoh Ramses II, setting six hundred thousand slaves on a monumental journey of escape from Egypt and its terrifying cycle of deadly plagues.Ridley Scott's epic failure is a classic Biblical tale, to quote Shakespeare, "told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing". What it does signify is everything that is wrong with modern Hollywood blockbusters. It is less offensive to Christian viewers than it will towards devotees of good storytelling. The decisions Scott takes with this tale will generate unintentional laughter in buckets. We live in an impatient Zeitgeist where every classic tale has to be rehashed and extended in the most soulless and artificial way possible under the pretense of "grit" and "realism". Newsflash: no matter what your religious beliefs are, do not let them interfere with the film's craft. Mr. Scott, as epic as you can be in your past superior films, you are no Cecil B. DeMille.
- DirectorMcGStarsKevin CostnerHailee SteinfeldConnie NielsenA dying CIA agent trying to reconnect with his estranged daughter is offered an experimental drug that could save his life in exchange for one last assignment.Well this was a chore to watch. The reliable Kevin Costner thankfully survives a McG/Luc Besson trainwreck that is half self-aware and half serious, and the result is a blundering, sloppy mess that is not unlike last year's "A Good Day to Die Hard".
- DirectorJohn R. LeonettiStarsWard HortonAnnabelle WallisAlfre WoodardA couple begins to experience terrifying supernatural occurrences involving a vintage doll shortly after their home is invaded by satanic cultists.I used up a free ticket to watch this mess and now I want it back. An absolutely nonsensical waste of time that spoils the goodwill left behind by James Wan's "The Conjuring", this half-assed prequel is simply a pale imitation of the former without any heart and some truly idiotic character moments that made me fidget about in my seat in impatience. No thanks to director John R. Leonetti (the cinematographer for Wan's "Insidious" and "The Conjuring"), who last became notable for directing one of the worst video-game movies ever, "Mortal Kombat: Annihilation".
- DirectorCamille DelamarreStarsPaul WalkerDavid BelleRZAAn undercover Detroit cop navigates a dangerous neighborhood that's surrounded by a containment wall with the help of an ex-con in order to bring down a crime lord and his plot to devastate the entire city.Watching this movie is like letting a group of monkeys pluck your eyeballs and eardrums out, and putting them in a blender along with the "District B13" DVD, with sprinkles of "F&F" thrown in. The result is a cartoonish, half-assed, utterly lazy excuse of an action film made by ADHD-inflicted morons with moments of unintentional comedy in between. Pity, because David Belle and the late Paul Walker deserve better.
- DirectorJosh BooneStarsShailene WoodleyAnsel ElgortNat WolffHazel and Gus are teenagers who meet at a cancer support group and fall in love. They both share the same acerbic wit and a love of books, especially "An Imperial Affliction", so they embark on a journey to visit an author in Amsterdam.There are lazy movies, and then there are movies that try so very badly to be good that they just implode under the strain. This film is one of them - a shame because it wastes its talented cast and intriguing story on a plodding film that seems to never end and drown itself in too much self-pity. Under the hands of a more capable director suited to the material, say David O. Russell, Marc Webb or James Ponsoldt, this film would have been a great one. Instead, it's destined for mediocrity.
- DirectorRenny HarlinStarsKellan LutzGaia WeissScott AdkinsThe origin story of the mythical Greek hero. Betrayed by his stepfather, the King, and exiled and sold into slavery because of a forbidden love, Hercules must use his formidable powers to fight his way back to his rightful kingdom.Everything about this dreck is unintentional comedy gold. Bad acting, bad directing, horrible writing, even more horrible special effects - kill me now, please. A movie so goddamned awful, it makes M. Night Shyamalan's "The Last Airbender" look like James Cameron's "Avatar". Renny Harlin, you used to make badass films ("Die Hard 2", "Cliffhanger", "The Long Kiss Goodnight"), what the hell happened, man?!
- DirectorGrégory LevasseurStarsAshley HinshawJames BuckleyDenis O'HareAn archaeological team attempts to unlock the secrets of a lost pyramid only to find themselves hunted by an insidious creature.If the writer's/director's idea of "horror" is pitch-black darkness where you can't see jack sh*t, with the requisite shaky camera that stalks archeologists that may as well grace the cover of Glamour magazine, as well as the most annoying comic relief of recent horror movies, then congratulations, they've just killed horror again just when gems like "Oculus" and "The Babadook" are about to restore it.
- DirectorIsabel CoixetStarsSophie TurnerClaire ForlaniRhys IfansA teenager finds her perfect life upended when she's stalked by a mysterious doppelganger who has her eyes set on assuming her identity.The cinema seats are quite comfy, with a power outlet handily nearby to charge your phones. Oh wait, there was a movie playing? I didn't notice, because nothing happens at all. Using good camerawork and music does not disguise bad acting and the fact that the plot is utter *beep* disguised as "artsy tween angst", an insult to the intelligence of anyone watching this dreadful dreck. "Game of Thrones" lass Sophie Turner is nice eye candy, but she simply cannot carry a film yet. Director Isabel Coixet has made some riverting, erotically charged food for thought in the past; here she implodes spectacularly as she tries to disguise superficial nonsense into something of intellect.
- DirectorVic ArmstrongStarsNicolas CageLea ThompsonCassi ThomsonA small group of survivors is left behind after millions of people suddenly vanish and the world is plunged into chaos and destruction.Sometimes I wonder why I do this to myself... Here is a tool that unifies both fierce seculars and devout Christians alike, in that they simultaneously groan at this monumentally awful movie in every aspect. It's so bad that a fever hit me for real just thinking about it. Nicolas Cage... you need a new agent. Like, yesterday.
- DirectorJulian CheahStarsRod ManikamSimon ArblasterMaggie MeyerAn ex-military man Daniel Wilson and his wife Lisa share a life which seems perfect in an environment of family people and cozy surrounding of trees and greenery. When they head to a local pub for a drink, the barmaid is raped by a gang member Frankie Harris. Wilson intervenes, beats up the thug Harris and throws him out of the place much to the pleasure of the other patrons. Later, the thug brings his gang and they beat up Daniel in a park. Daniel and Lisa comfort each other in their home unknowingly watched by the gang members outside. One night, Lisa is kidnapped from the house. Upon returning home, Daniel receives a ransom note and phone call. He agrees to pay the gang but the trouble does not stop here and escalates to a full-scale war on both sides. Jennifer manages to track herself to the lair of the villains. Realising that they lack men, the heroes approach a rival gang of the villains and meet Jack and Ashlee. The five of them: Daniel, Shane, Jennifer, Jack and Ashlee proceed to the villains' lair in the Australian outback and engage in a long and final battle with the gangsters where only one side will emerge victorious.Look no further, this is the worst of the year. It takes a certain set of balls to reach here, but of course, who else but Malaysia's Julian Cheah can sink this low? He returns to disgrace the silver screen further, this time wreaking havoc in Australia with his partners in crime in this quarter-assed revenge tale that makes Steven Seagal's direct-to-video filmography look like "Schindler's List" in comparison. His 2010 violation "Killer Clown" is still the worst film I've ever seen in my life, and this excuse of a movie has once again violated my film-making spirit, albeit less so than "Clown". If you're a depressed, aspiring filmmaker, and live on a high-rise apartment, think of your family and friends, never see this movie.