Empire Magazine's "50 Worst Movies Ever"
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- DirectorJoel SchumacherStarsArnold SchwarzeneggerGeorge ClooneyChris O'DonnellBatman and Robin try to keep their relationship together even as they must stop Mr. Freeze and Poison Ivy from freezing Gotham City.Why it's on the list: Gaining nearly three times as many votes as the next entry, this was a runaway loser. From the neon design to the overblown script to the infamous Batnipples, it's become a byword for franchise-killing and bad movie-making.
Redeeming feature: A good half of the population would argue for Alicia Silverstone's arse in the Batgirl suit; the rest for George Clooney in a tux. - DirectorRoger ChristianStarsJohn TravoltaForest WhitakerBarry PepperIt's the year 3000 A.D., and the Earth is lost to the alien race of Psychlos. Humanity is enslaved by these gold-thirsty tyrants, who are unaware that their 'man-animals' are about to ignite the rebellion of a lifetime.
- DirectorMarco SchnabelStarsMike MyersJessica AlbaRomany MalcoPitka, an American raised outside of his country by gurus, returns to the States in order to break into the self-help business. His first challenge is to settle the romantic troubles and subsequent professional skid of a star hockey player whose wife left him for a rival athlete.
- DirectorJerry JamesonStarsJason RobardsRichard JordanDavid SelbyOnce they said God himself couldn't sink her. Then they said no man on Earth could reach her. But an underwater research agency, headed by Admiral James Sandecker, is assigned the job of finding the doomed ship in her North Atlantic grave.
- DirectorJason FriedbergAaron SeltzerStarsKal PennJennifer CoolidgeFred WillardA spoof on previous years' epic movies (The Da Vinci Code (2006), The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe (2005) + 20 more), TV series, music videos and celebs. 4 orphans are on an epic adventure.
- DirectorMichael CiminoStarsKris KristoffersonChristopher WalkenJohn HurtDuring the Johnson County War in 1890 Wyoming, a sheriff born into wealth does his best to protect immigrant farmers from rich cattle interests.
- DirectorSteven SoderberghStarsJames SpaderAndie MacDowellPeter GallagherA sexually repressed woman's husband is having an affair with her sister. The arrival of a visitor with a rather unusual fetish changes everything.
- DirectorM. Night ShyamalanStarsMark WahlbergZooey DeschanelJohn LeguizamoA science teacher, his wife, and a young girl struggle to survive a plague that causes those infected to commit suicide.
- DirectorRussell MulcahyStarsChristopher LambertSean ConneryVirginia MadsenIn the future, Highlander Connor MacLeod must prevent the destruction of Earth under an anti-ozone shield.
- DirectorTommy WiseauStarsTommy WiseauJuliette DanielleGreg SesteroIn San Francisco, an amiable banker's seemingly perfect life is turned upside down when his deceitful fiancée embarks on an affair with his best friend.
- DirectorJason FriedbergAaron SeltzerStarsSean MaguireKevin SorboCarmen ElectraA spoof of 300 (2006) and many other movies, TV series/shows/commercials, video games and celebrities. King Leonidas of Sparta and his army of 12 go to war against Xerxes of Persia to fight to the death for Sparta's freedom.
- DirectorBrian RobbinsStarsEddie MurphyThandiwe NewtonTerry CrewsA mild-mannered guy, who is married to a monstrous woman, meets the woman of his dreams, and schemes to find a way to be with her.
- DirectorJeremiah S. ChechikStarsRalph FiennesUma ThurmanSean ConneryTwo British Agents team up to stop Sir August de Wynter from destroying the world with a weather-changing machine.
- DirectorJason FriedbergAaron SeltzerStarsCarmen ElectraVanessa LacheyNicole ParkerOver the course of one evening, an unsuspecting group of twenty-somethings find themselves bombarded by a series of natural disasters and catastrophic events.
- DirectorPitofStarsHalle BerrySharon StoneBenjamin BrattA shy woman, endowed with the speed, reflexes, and senses of a cat, walks a thin line between criminal and hero, even as a detective doggedly pursues her, fascinated by both of her personas.
- DirectorEdward D. Wood Jr.StarsGregory WalcottTom KeeneMona McKinnonEvil aliens attack Earth and set their terrible "Plan 9" into action. As the aliens resurrect the dead of the Earth, the lives of the living are in danger.Why it's on the list?: Possibly the most entertaining movie on this entire list, Ed Wood's masterpiece mixes nonsensical dialogue, stock footage, dreadful effects and short recycled clips of star Bela Lugosi, who died during filmmaking, used with scant regard for narrative coherence. Still, there's an exuberance and ambition to it that most of the films here can only dream of.
Redeeming feature: If you've seen the Tim Burton film Ed Wood, you'll probably feel all warm and cosy about even the most demented bits. In fact, it now has mostly positive reviews by those who have always seen it as a hilarious / avant garde cult movie rather than an incoherent disaster. - DirectorKeenen Ivory WayansStarsMarlon WayansShawn WayansBusy PhilippsTwo disgraced FBI agents go way undercover in an effort to protect hotel heiresses the Wilson sisters from a kidnapping plot.
- DirectorLawrence KasdanStarsMorgan FreemanThomas JaneJason LeeFriends on a camping trip discover that the town they're vacationing in is being plagued in an unusual fashion by parasitic aliens from outer space.
- DirectorMartin BrestStarsBen AffleckJennifer LopezJustin BarthaLarry Gigli is assigned by a crime boss to kidnap the brother of a prominent district attorney. A beautiful woman known only as Ricki is sent to stay with him to make sure he doesn't mess up the job.
- DirectorGuy RitchieStarsMadonnaAdriano GianniniBruce GreenwoodA snooty socialite is stranded on a Mediterranean island with a communist sailor.
- DirectorUwe BollStarsChristian SlaterTara ReidStephen DorffA detective of the paranormal slowly unravels mysterious events with deadly results.
- DirectorJoseph SargentStarsLorraine GaryLance GuestMario Van PeeblesChief Brody's widow believes that her family is deliberately being targeted by another shark in search of revenge.Why it's on the list: To steal from Dennis Pennis, this is a C-movie in every sense of the word. Alongside a shonky script and hoary dream sequences, it's got a replica Great White so rubbery you could lop it into tiny pieces and stick it on your pencil, several glaring continuity errors, and a confused-looking Michael Caine in desperate need of a new agent. Oh, and a shark eating an plane.
Redeeming feature: It's got a shark eating an plane. - DirectorTom GreenStarsTom GreenRip TornMarisa CoughlanAn unemployed cartoonist moves back in with his parents and younger brother Freddy. When his parents demand he leave, he begins to spread rumors that his father is sexually abusing Freddy.
- DirectorJan de BontStarsSandra BullockJason PatricWillem DafoeA computer hacker breaks into the computer system of the Seabourn Legend cruise liner and sets it speeding on a collision course into a gigantic oil tanker.
- DirectorMichael BayStarsShia LaBeoufMegan FoxJosh DuhamelSam Witwicky leaves the Autobots behind for a normal life. But when his mind is filled with cryptic symbols, the Decepticons target him and he is dragged back into the Transformers' war.Why it's on the list: Another sequel that sees a massive drop-off in quality from its more tightly-plotted predecessor - and the first Transformers was no masterpiece - this is a rare case where improvements in special effects put filmmaking back, with the more intricate robots proving impossible to tell apart in a fight - apart from the racist and sexist stereotypes, anyway. A nonsensical plot, skewed tone and tin ear for cultural sensitivity combine to make it the silliest film of 2009.
Redeeming feature: John Turturro, who appeared to be in a different movie from everyone else - again. And Optimus Prime's scenes are totally worth watching. Also, ka-BOOM! - DirectorVondie Curtis-HallStarsMariah CareyEric BenétMax BeesleyA young singer dates a disc jockey who helps her get into the music business, but their relationship become complicated as she ascends to super stardom.
- DirectorSteven E. de SouzaStarsJean-Claude Van DammeRaul JuliaMing-Na WenIn the midst of a civil war in South East Asia, a general intensifies the climate of violence by kidnapping 63 UN delegates. To free the hostages, a colonel leads a group of fighters, who will have to use all their skills to be successful.
- DirectorRoger KumbleStarsCameron DiazThomas JaneChristina ApplegateChristina Walters spent years avoiding men, then suddenly met her perfect match while hanging with her best friends, Courtney and Jane. When she finds out that he has left town, she and Courtney set out on a trip.
- DirectorRichard KellyStarsDwayne JohnsonSarah Michelle GellarSeann William ScottDuring a three-day heat wave just before a huge 4th of July celebration, an action star stricken with amnesia meets up with a porn star who is developing her own reality TV project, and a policeman who holds the key to a vast conspiracy.
- DirectorKeenen Ivory WayansStarsAnna FarisJon AbrahamsMarlon WayansA year after disposing of the body of a man they accidentally killed, a group of dumb teenagers are stalked by a bumbling serial killer.
- DirectorHarald ZwartStarsSteve MartinJean RenoEmily MortimerInsp. Jacques Clouseau teams up with a squad of International detectives who are just as bumbling as he is. Their mission: Stop a globe-trotting thief who specializes in stealing historical artifacts.
- DirectorFrank MillerStarsGabriel MachtSamuel L. JacksonScarlett JohanssonRookie cop Denny Colt returns from the beyond as The Spirit, a hero whose mission is to fight against the bad forces in Central City.
- DirectorKurt WimmerStarsMilla JovovichCameron BrightNick ChinlundA beautiful haemophage infected with a virus that gives her superhuman powers has to protect a boy in a futuristic world, who is thought to be carrying antigens that would destroy all hæmophages.
- DirectorChris SivertsonStarsLindsay LohanJulia OrmondNeal McDonoughA young woman who was missing reappears, but she claims to be someone else entirely.
- DirectorUwe BollStarsJonathan CherryTyron LeitsoClint HowardA group of college students travels to a mysterious island to attend a rave, which is soon taken over by bloodthirsty zombies.
- DirectorStefen FangmeierStarsEd SpeleersSienna GuilloryJeremy IronsIn his homeland of Alagaesia, a farm boy happens upon a dragon's egg -- a discovery that leads him on a predestined journey where he realizes he's the one person who can defend his home against an evil king.
- DirectorJohn MooreStarsMark WahlbergMila KunisBeau BridgesComing together to solve a series of murders in New York City are a police detective and an assassin, who will be hunted by the police, the mob, and a ruthless corporation.
- DirectorLawrence GutermanStarsJamie KennedyTraylor HowardAlan CummingTim Avery, an aspiring cartoonist, finds himself in a predicament when his dog stumbles upon the mask of Loki. Then after conceiving an infant son "born of the mask", he discovers just how looney child raising can be.
- DirectorCourtney SolomonStarsJustin WhalinJeremy IronsZoe McLellanProfion, a tyrant, attempts to overthrow a peaceful kingdom ruled by a tough empress.
- DirectorSidney J. FurieStarsChristopher ReeveGene HackmanMargot KidderThe Man of Steel crusades for nuclear disarmament and meets Lex Luthor's latest creation, Nuclear Man.
- DirectorStephen SommersStarsHugh JackmanKate BeckinsaleRichard RoxburghThe famed monster hunter is sent to Transylvania to stop Count Dracula, who is using Dr. Frankenstein's research and a werewolf for nefarious purposes.
- DirectorMichael WinnerStarsChris ReaFelicity KendalJohn CleeseWhen the doctors tell Harry Sterndale to get his affairs in order, he does just that - with a vengeance. With nothing to lose, Harry is out to give everyone who ever "done him wrong" something to remember him by: exactly what they deserve.
- DirectorHarold RamisStarsJack BlackMichael CeraOlivia WildeAfter being banished from their tribe, two hunter-gatherers encounter Biblical characters and eventually wind up in the city of Sodom.
- DirectorLana WachowskiLilly WachowskiStarsKeanu ReevesLaurence FishburneCarrie-Anne MossThe human city of Zion defends itself against the massive invasion of the machines as Neo fights to end the war at another front while also opposing the rogue Agent Smith.
- DirectorDavid S. GoyerStarsWesley SnipesKris KristoffersonParker PoseyBlade, now a wanted man by the FBI, must join forces with the Nightstalkers to face his most challenging enemy yet: Dracula.
- DirectorWillard HuyckStarsLea ThompsonJeffrey JonesTim RobbinsA sarcastic humanoid duck is pulled from his homeworld to Earth where he must stop an alien invasion with the help of a nerdy scientist and a struggling female rock singer.
- DirectorJessy TerreroStarsDwayne AdwaySnoop DoggTom ArnoldThings get raucously funny aboard the maiden flight of a black-owned airline, thanks to some last-minute passenger additions.
- DirectorPeter ChelsomStarsWarren BeattyDiane KeatonNastassja KinskiTwo loving middle aged couples get caught in a series of marital misadventures over reasons of fidelity.
- DirectorPaul VerhoevenStarsElizabeth BerkleyKyle MacLachlanGina GershonA mysterious young drifter who calls herself Nomi Malone hitches a ride to Las Vegas, Nevada, and begins working as a strip club dancer, and sets about clawing her way to the top of the Vegas showgirls.
- DirectorSam RaimiStarsTobey MaguireKirsten DunstTopher GraceA strange black entity from another world bonds with Peter Parker and causes inner turmoil as he contends with new villains, temptations, and revenge.Who's responsible?: Director/writer Sam Raimi, co-writing brother Ivan and screenwriter Alvin Sargent, an unholy alliance of studio suits and Venom fans, including producer Avi Arad.
Why it's on the list: The one where Spidey went dark, we got three villains for the price of one as a lump of unexplained space goo drives Peter Parker to the eyeliner drawer. Three villains might've been a good thing had they not trampled all over each other's screentime and narrative coherence. Audiences lapped it up - it remains Sony Picture's biggest grossing movie - but with Sam Raimi at the helm and a small army of FX gurus on board, it could and should have been so much more.
Redeeming feature: J.K. Simmons chewing up Peter, and the screen, with his trademark gusto.