Quotes for
Count Dracula (Character)
from Dracula (1931)

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Van Helsing (2004)

Count Vladislaus Dracula: Igor... Do unto others...
Igor: Before they do it unto me!

Dr. Victor Frankenstein: I'll take him away, far away, where no-one will ever find him.
Count Vladislaus Dracula: Oh, no, Victor. The time has come for me to take command of him.
Dr. Victor Frankenstein: What are you saying?
Count Vladislaus Dracula: Why do you think I brought you here, gave you this castle, equipped your laboratory?
Dr. Victor Frankenstein: You said... you said you believed in my work.
Count Vladislaus Dracula: And I do. But now that it is, as you yourself have said, "A triumph of science over God", it must now serve my purpose.

[Van Helsing transforms into a werewolf, the one thing that can kill Dracula]
Count Vladislaus Dracula: We are both part of the same great game, Gabriel! But we need not find ourselves on opposing sides of the board...
[the Werewolf roars. Dracula transforms into a giant bat, and attacks him]

[Dracula sees Igor poking the werewolf with a cattle prod]
Count Vladislaus Dracula: Igor!
Igor: Yes, Master?
Count Vladislaus Dracula: Why do you torment that thing so?
Igor: It's what I do.

Count Vladislaus Dracula: You can't kill me, Victor.
[Dracula pushes himself onto the sword Dr. Frankenstein is wielding]
Count Vladislaus Dracula: I'm already dead.

Anna Valerious: You make my skin crawl.
Count Vladislaus Dracula: That's not all I can do.
[Is about to bite her neck but Van Helsing saves her]

Count Vladislaus Dracula: Hello, Gabriel.
[grinning to himself]
Count Vladislaus Dracula: You don't remember me? Allow me to refresh your memory I am Count Vladilaus Dracula, we have some history you and I.

Dr. Victor Frankenstein: I could never allow him to be used for such evil.
Count Vladislaus Dracula: I could. In fact, my brides are insisting on it.

Count Vladislaus Dracula: There, there, my lovelies. Do not worry, I shall find another bride.
[Dracula's brides are appalled]
Verona: What?
Verona: Have you no heart?
Count Vladislaus Dracula: No! I have no heart, I feel no love. Nor fear, nor joy, nor sorrow. I am hollow... and I will live forever.
Aleera: Oh, my lord...
Verona: It is not so bad.
[Dracula's mood changes on a dime, and he begins to laugh]
Count Vladislaus Dracula: I'm at war with the world! And every living soul in it! But soon... the final battle will begin.
Aleera: Do we mean so little to you?
[said before Verona asks if Dracula has no heart]

Count Vladislaus Dracula: Success!
Dr. Victor Frankenstein: Oh Count, it's just you.
[sighs in relief]
Count Vladislaus Dracula: I was beginning to lose faith, Victor.
[looks down at the angry mob]
Count Vladislaus Dracula: A pity your moment of triumph is being spoiled over a little thing like grave robbery.

Count Vladislaus Dracula: How does it feel to be a puppet on my string?

Dr. Victor Frankenstein: Good God... I would kill myself before helping in such a task.
Count Vladislaus Dracula: Feel free. I don't actually need you anymore, Victor. I just need him... he is the key.

Count Vladislaus Dracula: [after feeling Marishka die] if it's not the Christians, it's the Moors! Why can't they just leave us alone. We never kill more than our fill. And less than our share. Can they say the same?

Count Vladislaus Dracula: [Dracula's bride cower in fear] No, no, no. Do not fear me, everybody else fears me. Not my brides.

Count Vladislaus Dracula: I can tell the character of a man by the sound of his heartbeat.
[claps his hand in a rhythm of a heartbeat]
Count Vladislaus Dracula: Usually when I approach...
[claps faster]
Count Vladislaus Dracula: I can almost dance to the beat.
[claps slower]
Count Vladislaus Dracula: Strange that yours is so steady.

Van Helsing: How do you know me?
Count Vladislaus Dracula: So, would you like me to refresh your memory? A few details from you sordid past?
Count Vladislaus Dracula: [Van Helsing thrusts a crucifix at Dracula. Dracula shrieks and angrily swats it away, then calms down, smiling beatifically, as if nothing happened] Perhaps that is a conversation for another time. But before you go, let me reintroduce myself.
[bows majestically]
Count Vladislaus Dracula: I am Count Vladislaus Dragulia. Born 1422. Murdered 1462.

[the Werewolf arrives back at Castle Frankenstein and lands next to Dracula, growling menacingly. Dracula ignores him]
Count Vladislaus Dracula: Werewolves are such a nuisance during their first full moon, so hard to control.
[just as the Werwolf is about to lunge at him, he stops and transforms back to Velkan, writhing in pain. Dracula strides majestically past him]
Count Vladislaus Dracula: I send you on a simple errand, to find out who our new friend is, and you have to stop for a little visit with your sister.
Velkan: Leave her out of this, Count! She doesn't know your secret, and I am soon to take it to my grave.
Count Vladislaus Dracula: Don't wish for death so quickly. I intend for you to be quite useful.
Velkan: I would rather die than help you.
Count Vladislaus Dracula: Oh, don't be boring, everybody who says that dies.

[the Dwergi rip a blackened corpse out of the machine's pod and throw it down in front of Velkan]
Count Vladislaus Dracula: Look familiar?
[Velkan recognizes the crucifix around the corpse's neck]
Velkan: Father? No!
[charges at Dracula]
Count Vladislaus Dracula: [stops him easily with a finger] He proved useless. But I'm hoping with Werewolf venom running through your veins, you will be of greater benefit.

Count Vladislaus Dracula: Don't we make a lovely couple?
[Anna looks at the mirror. Dracula is not in the reflection]
Count Vladislaus Dracula: I'm looking for a new bride, Anna, someone strong and beautiful. All it takes is one bite from me.
Anna Valerious: [Dracula hugs her tighter] You have no heartbeat.
Count Vladislaus Dracula: Perhaps it just needs to be rekindled.

Count Vladislaus Dracula: [attacked by Van Helsing, as a werewolf] Don't you understand? We could be friends! Partners! Brothers-in-arms!

Count Vladislaus Dracula: All I wanted was life, Gabriel. The continuation of my kind.
[Dracula holds up his left hand, his ring finger has long ago been cut off]
Count Vladislaus Dracula: And perhaps also, the return of my ring.

Igor: I am sorry, Master. We try and we try, but I fear we are not so smart as Doctor Frankenstein.
Count Vladislaus Dracula: Truly. It would appear that the good Doctor took the key to life to his grave.
[the Werewolf climbs up onto the parapet. Dracula waves him away, dismissive]
Count Vladislaus Dracula: Hunt them down. Kill them both.

Count Vladislaus Dracula: Welcome to my summer place.

Count Vladislaus Dracula: [to the other vampires] Ladies and gentlemen, I give to you... Van Helsing!

Count Vladislaus Dracula: Give me LIFE!

Count Vladislaus Dracula: You're too late, my friend! My children live!
Van Helsing: Then the only way to kill them is to kill you.
Count Vladislaus Dracula: Correct.
Van Helsing: So be it.

---

Love at First Bite (1979)

Count Dracula: I'm going out for a bite to drink.

[first lines]
Count Dracula: Children of the night, shut up!

Cindy Sondheim: We can go to bed, maybe get in a little quickie.
Count Dracula: No. With you, never a quickie. Always a longie.

Commissare Woman: Either you spend the rest of your life in an efficiency apartment with seven dissidents and one toilet, or you gather your aristocratic shit together and split.
Count Dracula: Renfield.
Renfield: Yes, master.
Count Dracula: What is an efficiency apartment?
Renfield: I don't know, master. What's a toilet?

Count Dracula: I never drink wine, and I do not smoke shit.

Count Dracula: Without me, Transylvania will be as exciting as Bucharest... on a Monday night.

[Rosenberg approaches Dracula in a restaurant]
Doctor Jeff Rosenberg: The second way to kill a vampire, Count; three silver bullets through the heart!
Cindy Soundheim: Jeffrey!
[Jeff shoots Dracula three times]
Count Dracula: No, Rosenberg, that is a werewolf
Doctor Jeff Rosenberg: A werewolf? Really? Are you sure?
[Guards start to take him away]
Doctor Jeff Rosenberg: [to the guards] No harm done! The man's all right! This was for a werewolf! No problem! Calm down! Take it easy! I'm a doctor! I know where I'm going!

Dr. Jeffrey Rosenberg: [triumphantly] Well, Count, what do you say to that?
[Pulls out a Star of David]
Dr. Jeffrey Rosenberg: [Dracula hides his face, then realizes what it is and removes his hands]
Count Dracula: I would say, leave Cindy alone and find yourself a nice Jewish girl, Doctor!
Dr. Jeffrey Rosenberg: Huh?
[looks at star]
Dr. Jeffrey Rosenberg: Ah shit! It's the other one, isn't it?

Renfield: I think they're from the government.
Count Dracula: How do you know?
Renfield: They're wearing shoes.

Alexei Rugalov: You dirty bat! You bit my mother!
Count Dracula: What is your name?
Rugalov: Alexei. Rugalov.
Count Dracula: No, Alexei. I bit your mother, and your grandmother.

Count Dracula: [reading an American phrase book] What is this? Copyright 1923? Renfield, you bumbling moron, this book is as out of date as... as I am.

Renfield: I thought you were having fun.
Count Dracula: Fun? How would you like to go around looking like a head waiter for 700 years?

Cindy Sondheim: Can I get you anything?
Count Dracula: A broom, perhaps?
Cindy Sondheim: Eh? Oh, I hate housework. It killed my mother.

Dr. Jeffrey Rosenberg: [speaking of]
Count Dracula: Where is he?
Cindy Sondheim: He'll be here.
Dr. Jeffrey Rosenberg: Another fly by night character.

Cindy Sondheim: I told you I have a man in here...
Count Dracula: *Now* you do.

Count Dracula: I heard a rooster crow.
Cindy Sondheim: A rooster? In New York *City*?

Count Dracula: We're going to make a hoist.
Renfield: Heist! Heist, heist.

Count Dracula: We've come to make a withdrawal. We have a very sick man in the car. He needs blood, desperately.
Bloodbank Guard: That's a hearse!
Count Dracula: So maybe we're a bit late.

Count Dracula: Do you think of me as special?
Cindy Sondheim: Yes, of course.
Count Dracula: So how can you think of yourself as nothing, when I love you?

Renfield: Master, please be careful!
Count Dracula: What is it?
Renfield: You nearly stepped on my dinner!
[a black beetle]
Count Dracula: Forgive me. Bon appetit!

Count Dracula: The wolf is a very misunderstood creature. He never kills for sport, only what is needed. And he always protects the young... and the old.

[a viewing in a funeral home]
Reverend Mike: I knew Brother Alvin... and he was a swinger!
Mourners: Yes! Praise the Lord! Praise the Lord! Alleluia! , etc.
Reverend Mike: He loved his booze, hahahaha. He loved his women.
Mourners: Yeah! And my wife, too! Yes, he did! Sure did! , etc
Reverend Mike: But must of all, he loved his Cadillac Saville, and it's a beaute. I know, because he left it to me, Hallelujah!
Mourners: Praise the Lord! Praise the Lord! , etc
Reverend Mike: I showed him how God wanted him to have a swell time while he was alive. Because, brothers and sisters, when you is gone, you is gone. And ain't no way , no how, nobody's going to bring you back here once you is dead!
[the coffin's lid rises, and Dracula sits up inside]
Count Dracula: Good Evening.
[the mourners scream in panic, and run out of the funeral home, knocking over the chairs]
Count Dracula: [to Reverend Mike] I am Count Dracula. I would like a large suite with a bath. I have a reservation.
[Reverend Mike screams and jumps through the stained glass window, shattering the glass]
Count Dracula: This is not the lobby of the Plaza Hotel?

Count Dracula: Ah, Cindy Sondheim, you should have lived in an earlier age. Things were simpler, less complicated. Do you know how many women had nervous breakdowns in the fourteenth century? Two.

[last lines]
Cindy Sondheim: Oh, this isn't so hard. I think I'm going to love imortality.
Count Dracula: There is one small disadvantage. We can only live by night.
Cindy Sondheim: Oh, that's all right with me. I mean, I could never really get my shit together till 7:00, anyway.

---

Dracula (1992)

Dracula: The blood is life... and it shall be mine.

Dracula: Renfield, you have betrayed me!

[Jonathan accidentally had a cut while shaving]
Jonathan Harker: I didn't hear you coming in.
Dracula: Take care how you cut yourself. It's more dangerous than what you think.
[Dracula sees blood and breaks the mirror]
Dracula: A foul bauble in man's vanity. Perhaps you should *grow* a beard.
[He licks the blood of the razor]
Dracula: The letters that I've requested, have you written them?
[Harker hands the letters without reply to him]
Dracula: Good.
[shaves Harker]
Dracula: Should you leave these rooms, you will not by any chance go to sleep in any other parts of the castle. It is old and has many bad memories. Be warned.

Dracula: I am the monster that breathing men would kill. I am Dracula.

Dracula: Do you believe in destiny? That even the powers of time can be altered for a single purpose? That the luckiest man who walks upon this earth is the one who finds... True love?

Dracula: You will, I trust, excuse me if I... do not join you... but I have already dined, and I never drink... wine.
Jonathan Harker: [looks at painting on the wall] An ancestor of yours? I see a resemblance.
Dracula: The Order of the Dracul... the Dragon. An ancient society, pledging my forefathers to defend the church against all enemies of Christ. Their relationship was not entirely... successful.
Jonathan Harker: Ahh...
[chuckles]
Jonathan Harker: Yes.
Dracula: [roars with rage as he draws a sword from the wall and points it at Harker's throat] This is no laughing matter! We Draculs have a right to be proud! What devil or witch was ever so great as Atilla, whose blood flows in these veins? Blood...
[laughs as he runs the blade across his hand]
Dracula: Is too precious a thing in these times.
[draws bloody hand to his mouth as if he is going to taste the blood, then pulls his hand away]
Dracula: The war-like days are over. The victories of my great race are but a tale to be told.
[casts the sword on the table]
Dracula: I am the last of my kind.
Jonathan Harker: I have offended you with my ignorance, Count... forgive me.

Dracula: [to Jonathan Harker] They say you are a man of good... taste.

Dracula: [about the wolves that are howling] Listen to them: the children of the night. What sweet music they make.

Dracula: I have crossed oceans of time to find you.

Dracula: Absinthe is the aphrodisiac of the self. The green fairy who lives in the absinthe wants your soul. But you are safe with me.

Mina: I want to be what you are. See what you see - love what you love.
Dracula: Mina, to walk with me you must die to your breathing life and be reborn to mine.
Mina: You are my love... and my life... always...
Dracula: Then... I give you life eternal. Everlasting love. The power of the storm. And the beasts of the earth. Walk with me... to be my loving wife... forever.

Dracula: I condemn you to living death. To eternal hunger for living blood.

[to Mina about the wolf]
Dracula: He likes you .

Dracula: I... love you too much to condemn you.

Dracula: I shall rise from my own death, to avenge hers with all the powers of darkness.

Dracula: What devil or witch was ever so great as Atilla whose blood flows in these veins?

Dracula: I am the last of my kind.

Dracula: I, who served the Cross. I, who commanded nations, hundreds of years before you were born.
Professor Abraham Van Helsing: Your armies were defeated. You tortured and impaled thousands of people.
Dracula: I was betrayed. Look at what your God has done to me!

Dracula: There is much to be learned from the beasts.

Dracula: [to Harker] Transylvania is not England. Our ways are not your ways. And to you there shall be many strange things.

Dracula: [having just spotted Mina in the streets of London] See me. See me now.

---

Dracula 2000 (2000)

Dracula: We are so much more complicated than our names.

Dracula: I don't drink... coffee.

Dracula: You made the world in your image. Now I make it in mine.

Dracula: I will show you what I have never shown another.

Dracula: Mary, you're afraid. Don't be.

Dracula: Dignity, doctor.

Valerie Sharp: I don't want to die.
Dracula: Then you never will.

Dracula: You cannot imagine what I've had to endure. I have felt the very wrath of God, chosen to suffer like no man before.

[Simon brandishes a Bible before the advancing Dracula]
Dracula: Propaganda.

Dracula: Everything I am is yours. And all you are is mine.

Abraham Van Helsing: I swear to Jesus Christ...
Dracula: [interrupts] He doesn't care!

Dracula: You haven't been feeding her.

Dracula: You think you can teach me about betrayal?

Dracula: Blood has always been the coin of our realm.

Dracula: [to the neon cross] You knew all this would come to pass.

Dracula: [to Mary] It was my last sunset on this earth that made me who I am.

Abraham Van Helsing: [as Dracula has him cornered] You... you can't have her. Ever!
Dracula: The years have not been kind to you, Abraham. But then why should they be? You stole them from me.
Abraham Van Helsing: I spared a century.
Dracula: Spared?From me? I've seen your century. You've all become so gifted at butchery. I feel like a novice.
Abraham Van Helsing: You want revenge? Take it! Right here, right now!
Dracula: You know not the depths of my vengence.
Abraham Van Helsing: If you harm my daughter, I swear to the Lord Christ.
Dracula: Shhhh. He doesn't care and in that you can trust... You fed on me like a parasite. You stole life from my blood and past it to another.
[laugh]
Dracula: She's my Mary now.
Abraham Van Helsing: No! Never! Never! She will end you!
Dracula: She will love me and... she will end like you.

J.T.: [very afraid] Don't kill me.
Dracula: There are worst things than death.

---

Dracula: Dead and Loving It (1995)

Lover at Picnic: Would you care for some wine?
Dracula: I never drink wine... oh, what the hell. Let me try it.

Dracula: [in a dream walking about in the daylight thinking it's real] Everything is so lovely and colorful, and the sun is so shinny!
[He spots to lovers having a picnic]
Dracula: Say there, I just can't help that it is so lovely out here today, but if I could just spare it for a piece of you're... chicken?
Lover at Picnic: Oh sure, and some wine?
Dracula: I never drink... wine
[thinks for about 3 seconds]
Dracula: Oh what the hell, let me try it.
[tastes the wine]
Dracula: ...It's good!
Renfield: [Running towards him shouting] Master! Master!
Dracula: [Happy to see him] Renfield, I'm drinking wine, and I'm eating chicken!
Renfield: Master, what are doing you doing, you can't be up during the daylight!
Dracula: Oh ho ho, relax Renfield, I'm cured!
[smoke starts coming out of him]
Renfield: Nooo nooo look!
Dracula: [realizing the smoke] I... made... a mistake... I must get back to my coffin!
[He wakes up in panic noticing the dark out the window then, calms down]
Dracula: It is night time, so it wasn't real, I was having... a daymare.

Dracula: Renfield, you were having a nightmare!
Renfield: A nightmare? But it was so real, so vivid. Two voluptuous women; grinding, heaving. I don't know how to describe it...
[pause]
Renfield: Have you ever been to Paris?

[Dracula is hypnotizing a valet at the theatre where Doctor Seward is enjoying an opera]
Dracula: You vill tell Doctor Seward there is a message for him in the lobby... and you will remember nothing of what I tell you.
[the valet goes to open Seward's chambers and nods her head. She opens the curtain to Seward's chambers and stands there with her mouth open for a few moments, then closes the curtain]
Usherette: [noticing Dracula standing there] Hello, can I help you sir?
Dracula: [mimicking her] Can I help you sir?
[normally]
Dracula: What's wrong with you, why did you not tell him?
Usherette: About what?
Dracula: About the message!
Usherette: For whom?
Dracula: Never mind! I vill tell him myself. And for your miserable performance, you will receive no tip!
Usherette: No tip?
Dracula: Ah! That, you remember!

[a bat poops on the stairs]
Dracula: Children of the night... What a mess they make.

Dracula: [waking up from a bad dream] Oh, it's night-time. I was having a daymare.

[Dracula picks up Jonathan by the throat]
Dracula: Arrogant mortal! You are in my world now and you will never leave this attic alive! I will destroy you, and then I will possess she whom you love the most. And there is not a single thing in the world you can do to stop me!
[Dracula laughs. Jonathan pokes him in the eyes and Dracula drops Jonathan]
Dracula: Ow!

[Dracula is outside Mina's room]
Dracula: [to the maid] Essie... Essie... Your eyelids are growing heavy You will sleep... sleep.
[Essie nods off to sleep]
Dracula: Mina... Mina, open your eyes!
[she does]
Dracula: Arise, Mina.
[she does]
Dracula: Walk to the door.
[Mina opens a door, and goes inside]
Dracula: Mina... you are in the closet. Open the door, and come out.
[she does]
Dracula: Now walk to the Terrace Door. Watch out for the foot...
[too late! Mina trips over the footstool, and goes flying]
Dracula: Stool. Stand up.
[Essie and Mina both rise]
Dracula: Not you. Sit!
[Mina sits]
Dracula: No, not you, *you* sit.
[Essie sits]
Dracula: *You* stand.
[both stand]
Dracula: No! Sit!
[both sit]
Dracula: No, you stand!
[both stand]
Dracula: You walk to the Terrace Door and you go back to sleep! *Watch out!*
[Essie and Mina bump into one another and fall to the floor. Dracula throws his arms in frustration]

Dracula: [after rising from his coffin and hitting his head on a chandelier] I must move the coffin or the chandelier.

Dracula: [his last line] Renfield, you asshole!

Van Helsing: Count Dracula. Hmm, curious. Are you descended from Vlad Tapish? The first Dracula?
Dr. Steward: Tapish?
Van Helsing: Ya. It means 'The Impaler.' He was a blood-thirsty butchah. He inflicted unspeakable tortures on the peasants: cutting off their hands and feet, gouging out their eyes and then impaling them on iron spikes!
Dracula: They had it coming.

Dracula: [carrying Essie out instead of Mina] You will be my bride throughout eternity. We'll share the endless passion of immortal love.
Essie: Oh I can't wait!
Dracula: [stares at her in surprise] NOT YOU!
Dracula: [takes her back inside and throws heron the floor, and carries Mina out, speaking very fast] You will be my bride throughout eternity, we'll share the endless passion of immortal love!

---

Mad Monster Party? (1969)

Dracula: What kind of a monster is he? A ghoul? A demon? A spook, or...?
Francesca: A human.
Dracula: They're the worst kind.

Dracula: Um... Due to the dilapidated condition of my wallet... Er, your ship. I think I had better fly.

Yetch: Point of order. Point of information. Point of importance.
Dracula: Speak up and stop pointing.

Francesca: As the doctor's rightful heir, I will be given his secrets and I shall share them with you.
Dracula: Why of course. Half a loaf if better than two in the bushes. Or something like that.
[to himself]
Dracula: Then I shall get rid of you and have all the secrets to myself.

Dracula: I'd give my eye teeth to possess that secret formula.

Dracula: Francesca, you have always been my type. O-negative, isn't it?

The Monster's Mate: [about the Mummy] I wonder how he got his invitation. He has an unlisted tomb. Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.
[about the Hunchback]
The Monster's Mate: Didn't I see him at the Transylvania Gardens in the main event?
Dracula: The Hunchback of Notre Dame ain't a boxer.
The Monster's Mate: Afraid it'll ruin his looks, eh? Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.

Baron von Frankenstein: [the Werewolf enters] Aw, Werewolf, 'delighted you're here, Were.
Dracula: Wolfie, you old dog! Ha ha. This convention is going to be a howling success.
[Werewolf howls]
Dracula: You see? I told you.

Dracula: [Has crashed into a tree; slurring] Permit me to introduth mythelf. I am Count Dracuwa.

Dracula: And now, friends, you'll see who was the original Batman.
[Transforms into a bat]

The Monster's Mate: Stop behaving like the Statue of Liberty. Put down that torch.
Dracula: Yes, we can still make a deal.
Francesca: Make a deal with you? Not so long as I have Wolfbane for you, vampire, and a torch for you, Monster. Or is it torch for a vampire and Wolfsbane for a monster? Wolfsbane for a werewolf, and a torch for a vampire. No, it's stake through the heart for a vampire and a silver bullet for a monster.
Dracula: I'll take the torch and you get the Wolfsbane.

---

Scooby-Doo and the Reluctant Werewolf (1988) (TV)

Dracula: What I want to know is, where's my werewolf?
Screamer: He's in Florida your majesty, he sent this postcard.
Dracula: Hmmmm...
[reading]
Dracula: Dear Drac, am having wonderful time in retirement, glad you're not here, Wolfy. Bah! How dare he retire just before the Monster Road Rally? Doesn't he know all the monsters of my realm have to be in the race?

Dracula: [after Crunch says something unintelligible] WHAT?
Brunch: He says "Ta-ta for now".

Vanna Pira: [reading about Shaggy] It says he's an American, and he's cute.
Dracula: A cute werewolf? Bah, the Hunch Bunch will take care of that.
Vanna Pira: Oh no! Not the Hunch Bunch!
Frankenstein: Not the Hunch Bunch!
Swamp Monster: Ohhhhh yuck!
Witch: They're so awful!
Frankenstein: And so horrible!
Dracula: Yes!
[laughs]
Dracula: The Hunch Bunch!

Dracula: Oh, Crunchy and Brunchyyyyy!

Shaggy: [looking at the swamp monster] Why that's a whole week of nightmares, huh.
[Swamp Monster laughs at Dreadonia]
Dreadonia: Hezzzzz talking about you.
Swamp Monster: He means you, knot-nose.
Dreadonia: Who you calling namezzzzz?
[Swings his tail at the Swamp Monster, Swamp Monster ducks. Takes a handful of slime from his chest and throws it at Dreadonia. Dreadonia ducks. The slime hits the fat witch in the face. The thin witch laughs. The fat witch hits the other with a broom. Frankenstein laughs. The thin witch walks up to him]
Witch: If you think that's funny, you'll laugh your head off at this!
[Waves her wand at Frankenstein. His face turns different colors and his head disappears. Bone-Jangles and the Mummy laugh as Frankenstein walks up to them and pops his head out from under his shirt. Then he grabs the mummy and throws him. Dracula gets caught in the bandages as well as the other monsters and lands with a crash. The mummy, stuck in a suit of armor, throws a spear]
Dracula: Wait a minute...
[the spear whizzes past Dracula and snags of the witches cloaks leaving them in their skirts. They pull out their wands and wave them]
Dracula: Wait... a... MINUTE!
[With his arms up, the spells burn holes through his cape. The witches put their wands behind their backs]

Dracula: Crunch, Brunch, bring the revival spray and awaken our guests.
Crunch: Bles Blaster,
[arrives wearing a revival spray pack]
Crunch: turn it on, turn it on.
Brunch: Roger old boy.
[turns the knob]
Crunch: [sticks the hose into Draculas face] Roger? But I'm not Roger, I'm Crunch!
Dracula: You're going to be history if you don't take that thing off my face.
Crunch: Bloops.

Brunch: Never fear, we shall get your werewolf tomorrow night, or our name isn't the hunch bunch.
Dracula: You'd better get him this time or your names will be mud, or maybe even blood.

Brunch: I fear the master will not be pleased.
Dracula: You said a mouthful, and it's very rude to talk with your mouth full.

Dracula: I thought I told you to fix that werewolf car so that he couldn't win the race.
Brunch: Ah yes master, but Shaggy unfixed it.
Dracula: Well then you un-unfix it.

Dracula: Please do have some spiderweb spaghetti.
Scooby- Doo: Sp-sp-sp-spiderweb?
Dracula: And you must try the plasma pizza.
[Scooby turns green]
Dracula: And the wart pudding.
[Scooby swallows and faints]
Scrappy Doo: [carrying Scooby off] Come on, Shaggy, let's get out of here.
Dracula: Wait! You haven't tried the finger sandwiches, made with REAL fingers.

[Dracula has tricked the Werewolf Wagon into a detour leading into the tar pits]
Dracula: Shaggy's road is the pits. Tar pits, that is.

---

Dracula (1931)

Count Dracula: For one who has not lived even a single lifetime, you're a wise man, Van Helsing.

Count Dracula: I am Dracula.
Renfield: Oh, it's really good to see you. I don't know what happened to the driver and my luggage and... Well, and with all this, I thought I was in the wrong place.
Count Dracula: I bid you welcome.
[Dracula goes up the stairs. Renfield starts to follow him. Suddenly, Dracula hears wolves howling]
Count Dracula: Listen to them. Children of the night. What music they make.
[Dracula goes up the steps and waits for Renfield, who, without difficulty, cuts open a hole in a huge spider's web using his walking stick]
Count Dracula: The spider spinning his web for the unwary fly. The blood is the life, Mr. Renfield.
Renfield: Why, er... yes.

Count Dracula: Van Helsing.
[Van Helsing turns to face Count Dracula]
Count Dracula: Now that you have learned what you have learned, it would be well for you to return to your own country.
Van Helsing: I prefer to remain and protect those whom you would destroy.
Count Dracula: You are too late. My blood now flows through her veins. She will live through the centuries to come, as I have lived.
Van Helsing: Should you escape us, Dracula. We know how to save Miss Mina's soul if not her life.
Count Dracula: If she dies by day. But I shall see that she dies by night.
Van Helsing: And I will have Carfax Abbey torn down, stone by stone, excavated a mile around. I will find your earth-box and drive that stake through your heart.
Count Dracula: Come here.
[Dracula raises his hand to hypnotise Van Helsing]
Count Dracula: Come here.
[Van Helsing takes three hypnotised steps towards Dracula but soon steps back, resisting Dracula's hypnotic power over him]
Count Dracula: Your will is strong, Van Helsing.
[Van Helsing reaches out for his crucifix as Dracula looms toward him]
Count Dracula: More wolfbane?
Van Helsing: More effective than wolfbane, Count.
Count Dracula: Indeed.
[Dracula lunges towards Van Helsing. Van Helsing holds up the crucifix. Dracula snarls and turns away. Van Helsing, in triumph, puts away the crucifix]

Count Dracula: I am Dracula. I bid you welcome.

Count Dracula: Listen to them. Children of the night. What music they make.

Count Dracula: Listen to them. Children of the night. What music *they* make.

Count Dracula: This is very old wine. I hope you will like it.
Renfield: Aren't you drinking?
Count Dracula: I never drink wine.

Count Dracula: To die, to be *really* dead, that must be glorious!
Mina Seward: Why, Count Dracula!
Count Dracula: There are far worse things awaiting man than death.

Count Dracula: The spider spinning his web for the unwary fly... The blood is the life, Mr. Renfield.

Count Dracula: [tries to hypnotize Van Helsing and fails] Your will is strong.
[tries to attack]
Van Helsing: [takes out a crucifix without fear] Indeed.

---

Dracula (1979)

Count Dracula: I am the king of my kind.

Count Dracula: Listen to them - children of the night. What sad music they make!

Count Dracula: Now it is you, my best beloved one. You will be flesh of my flesh, blood of my blood. You will cross land and sea to do my bidding. I need your blood. I need.

Count Dracula: "You are a wise man, Professor, for someone who has not yet lived even a single lifetime."
Prof. Abraham Van Helsing: "You flatter me, Count."
Count Dracula: "But not wise enough to return to your native Holland, immediately."
Prof. Abraham Van Helsing: "I prefer to remain."

Milo Renfield: "Please master. Hurt me, torture me, I deserve it. But Please, don't kill me."
Count Dracula: "Renfield, you disappoint me."

Count Dracula: Jonathan Harker tells me you speak some Romanian.
Lucy Seward: Well, hardly, I know...
[Dracula says a sentence in Romanian and Lucy smiles]
Count Dracula: There, you do understand.
Lucy Seward: [still smiling] Not really. I have no idea what you said.
Count Dracula: I said it would be nice to see you smile.
Lucy Seward: [pause] Then you should be pleased.
Count Dracula: Oh, I am.

Dr. Jack Seward: Count, some wine?
Count Dracula: No thank you, Doctor. I never drink wine.

Lucy Seward: Before you arrived we were looking at the ship's log.
Count Dracula: It wasn't lost at sea?
Lucy Seward: No. The very last entry was a strange word. A word that Mina thought meant "undead".
Count Dracula: Undead?
Mina Van Helsing: Yes. "Nosferatu".
Count Dracula: Ah! It means "not dead".

[Dracula, Lucy,and Mina are discussing "Nosferatu"]
Mina Van Helsing: Dead! Undead! I don't care, they all frighten me!
Lucy Seward: Oh, I love to be frightened!
Count Dracula: Do you?

Count Dracula: Lucy, come! Come to me!
[Lucy runs into Dracula's arms, and he embraces her]
Count Dracula: Now, you must go on a bit longer as a creature of this earth. Only until we have left behind those who would destroy us.
Lucy Seward: And then?
Count Dracula: Then you will join me on a higher plane feeding on them. We will create more of our kind, Lucy.

---

Count Dracula (1977) (TV)

Count Dracula: Welcome to my house, Mister Harker. Come freely. Go safely.
Jonathan Harker: Count Dracula?
Count Dracula: I am Count Dracula. Will you come in?... And, please, leave here some of the happiness that you bring.

[Renfield is asleep at the table in his cell]
Count Dracula: Good evening.
[Renfield awakes with a start. He looks around the room. His eyes fix on the window. Dracula is suspended outside his window]
Renfield: Master... Ohh... What do you offer me?
Count Dracula: More insects, with steel and sapphire on their wings.
Renfield: Ohhh...
[pants]
Renfield: ...Yes! Yes!
Count Dracula: Moths... With skull and crossbones on their backs.
Renfield: [pants harder] Yes!... Yes!
Count Dracula: Blood... Blood... Life... Years of life.
Renfield: Yes! Hold me, Master. Give me eternal life!

Jonathan Harker: You must know a great deal of the history of Transylvania.
Count Dracula: All there is to know, I'm afraid. Sometimes, I think, too much.

Vampire: [after Dracula has stopped them from feeding on Harker] You never loved me.
Vampire: You never loved.
Vampire: You never loved.
Count Dracula: [giving each a comforting touch] Oh yes I have.
[spreads his cape and beckons them]
Count Dracula: Come.
[the three all come in close to him, giggling]
Count Dracula: Shhh. I need him for a while. Then you shall have him. He will be yours. All yours. Now go, I must awaken him.
Vampire: And tonight, you can give us... nothing?
Vampire: Nothing?
[Dracula points to a carpet bag with something small and alive in it - the women pounce on it]

Count Dracula: I expect you are anxious to return to England.
Jonathan Harker: I should like to start back soon, it's true.
Count Dracula: Very well. Write a letter to your friends, saying that you have already left the Castle and arrived at Bistritz, where you are awaiting the weekly express.
Jonathan Harker: [suspiciously] May I ask with what object, sir?
Count Dracula: The posts are few, and uncertain. Writing now will ease the minds of Mister Hawkins and your fiancee.
Jonathan Harker: Count Dracula.
Count Dracula: Yes?
Jonathan Harker: I have been struck by a curious fact.
Count Dracula: Yes?
Jonathan Harker: I've not seen a single servant since I've been here. Yet my meals are served. My bed is made. Tell me, are we alone in the Castle?
Count Dracula: Alone? How could one be alone in this castle? In its most the past, the *living* past is present, surrounding us.
Jonathan Harker: That does *not* answer my question, sir. I've been here for three weeks and have not once stepped outside the Castle.
Count Dracula: I would gladly have shown you the countryside if you had expressed a wish to do so.
Jonathan Harker: When would we have gone? In the dead of night? I've never set eyes on you during the day.
Count Dracula: I have a large estate to manage.
Jonathan Harker: Nor have I seen you eat.
Count Dracula: I eat alone.
Jonathan Harker: [getting visibly upset] And who would have driven the coach?
Count Dracula: [maintains calm] My driver.
Jonathan Harker: You are lying, Count Dracula.
Count Dracula: You are losing your temper, Mister Harker.
Jonathan Harker: [calming down] Who took me back to my room last night?
Count Dracula: Back to your room? What do you mean?
Jonathan Harker: I slept by mistake in the library. I witnessed a... a nightmare, and woke up in my bed! How did I get there?
Count Dracula: Am I to be held responsible for a vivid imagination?

Count Dracula: [after Van Helsing repels him by holding up a crucifix and intoning a prayer] Ah yes, it always sounds so much more impressive in Latin.

Count Dracula: Do not help these men to fight against me. They are superstitious fools; they have been losing now for 2000 years. Do you know the significance of the kiss? You are nourishment to me. Blood of my blood. Flesh of my flesh. My beautiful wine press. We shall cross land and sea together. Land and sea.

Count Dracula: We must survive, all of us. The blood of a human for me, a cooked bird for you. Where is the difference?
Jonathan Harker: The difference between good and evil.

Count Dracula: I am bound to this earth, I make it my domain. You will die, in your miserable allotted span. I have centuries before me.
Jonathan Harker: Why in God's name did you ever leave your castle?
Count Dracula: We must recruit disciples - just as your leader has done.
Abraham Van Helsing: You shall not capture anymore souls.
Count Dracula: Souls?
[laughs scornfully]
Count Dracula: There is no blood to drink from souls - - if there be such things.
Abraham Van Helsing: We are pledged to rid the world of you.
Count Dracula: It will not be easy. I do not die like the bee when I string once - - I become stronger.

---

The Halloween That Almost Wasn't (1979) (TV)

Frankenstein's Monster: My feet hurt!
Count Dracula: Don't give me that! I happen to know those aren't your feet!
Frankenstein's Monster: What did you have to bring that up for?

Count Dracula: Hiya, Baby, it's me, Count Dracula.
Witch: I didn't think it was a humming bird.

Count Dracula: Igor, you did it again! How many times do I have to tell you? Keep my tomb door open at night and closed in the day. Open at night and closed in the day!

Frankenstein's Monster: Are they gone yet?
Count Dracula: Yes, it's safe for you to come out now and protect my life!

Count Dracula: Teeny tiny bat. Teeny tiny bat. Teeny tiny bat.

Count Dracula: What do I do now?
Igor: Master, believe me, they're just illusions. They cannot harm you.
Count Dracula: Can't do any me harm, huh? Who did that? Termites?

Count Dracula: Teeny tiny bat. Teeny tiny bat. Teeny tiny bat

Witch: Well, for heavens sake! You look just like me.
Girl dressed as witch: This is my favorite costume, because of you.
Witch: It is? Why?
Girl dressed as witch: Because you're one of my favorite people.
Boy dressed as Scarecrow: We love you just the way you are! All the kids feel that way.
Witch: You really love me? All right, I'll do it! Knowing you love me means more to me than any of his promises.
Count Dracula: Oh, then we can forget those silly conditions that you asked for?
Witch: Not on your life! You're going to keep every one of those promises just the same! Starting with the disco party right after I ride over the moon. So long, kids! This ride is just for you!

Count Dracula: It's one of those days I wish I was dead. And stayed dead.

---

"Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Buffy vs. Dracula (#5.1)" (2000)

[to Xander]
Dracula: You are strange and off-putting. Go now.

Dracula: Do you know why you cannot resist?
Buffy: 'Cause you're famous?

Dracula: I have no interest in you. Leave us.
Xander: No, we're not going to
[in Dracula's accent]
Xander: "leave you." And where'd you get that accent, Sesame Street?
[as the Count on Sesame Street]
Xander: Vun, two, three - three victims. Mwa ha ha.

Dracula: What is this?
Buffy: My true nature. You want a taste?

Dracula: Very impressive hunt. Such power.
Buffy: That was no hunt. That was just another day on the job. Care to step up for some overtime?
Dracula: We're not going to fight.
Buffy: Do you know what a Slayer is?
Dracula: Do you?

Buffy: [frustrated] Who are you?
Dracula: I apologize. I assumed you knew. I am Dracula.
Buffy: [unbelieving] Get out! So let me get this straight. You're...”Dracula." The guy. The Count.
Dracula: I am.
Buffy: And you're sure this isn't just some fanboy thing? Because... I've fought more than a couple of pimply overweight vamps that called themselves Lestat.
Dracula: You know who I am. As I would know without question that you are Buffy Summers.
Buffy: You've heard of me?
Dracula: Naturally. You're known throughout the world.
Buffy: Naw. Really?
Dracula: Why else would I come here? For the sun? I came to meet the renowned... killer.
Buffy: Yeah, I prefer the term "Slayer." You know, killer just sounds so...
Dracula: Naked?
Buffy: Like I... paint clowns or something. I'm the good guy, remember?
Dracula: Perhaps, but your power is rooted in darkness. You must feel it.
Buffy: [having had enough] No. You know what I feel? Bored.

---

Dark Prince: The True Story of Dracula (2000) (TV)

Vlad Dracula: Bruno, have I told not you I am indestructible?

Radu: You are going to kill me, aren't you?
Vlad Dracula: You are a traitor to your people. You betrayed our father!
Radu: I never betrayed our father! Besides, if it weren't for me, you'd still be in that Turk prison.
Vlad Dracula: You had that much influence over the Sultan? Even as a boy?
Radu: Especially as a boy.

Vlad Dracula: No...no...please! Lidia, come walk with me!
Lidia: I will always walk with you.
[kisses her cross, then jumps]

Radu: Why aren't you afraid? Why aren't you begging for your life, like any other man?!
Father Stefan: Because he's not like ANY OTHER MAN! And I knew it the moment he was delivered unto this world.
[to Dracula]
Father Stefan: God save me, had I one moment alone with you, I would have strangled you in your crib.
Vlad Dracula: You...you murdered my father!
Father Stefan: Because were your father unable to pay the Sultan's ransom...
Vlad Dracula: ...I'd be put to death.
Father Stefan: Our God has said to the prophets there would come an antichrist who would promise peace but deliver an apocalypse.
Vlad Dracula: My fight was never with God...it was with you!
Father Stefan: And that is why you are doomed, Vlad. Because you fight all of us. You fight your own blood, your own people, and your own church. Because you are an antichrist, and you are doomed.

---

"The Young Indiana Jones Chronicles: Transylvania, January 1918 (#2.22)" (1993)

General Targo: Good evening, Captain Jones.
Indiana Jones: How do you know my name?
General Targo: This is my home. I know all that goes on under it's roof.

General Targo: [Indy is aiming his pistol at the General's forehead] So theatrical, so melodramatic, so... American.

General Targo: It has been so long... But now the land will be safe. We will crush the intruders out and wash the earth with their blood. Their deaths will cleanse us. Their screams from the stake will lull us to sleep. For it is such a purity death has, such a perfect beauty.

General Targo: That was... impolite.

---

Akumajô Dorakiyura: Yami no juin (2005) (VG)

Dracula: I'll reduce you to ashes!

Dracula: Sympathy is merely a form of weakness.

Dracula: My soul may return to the abyss, but the curse will not be lifted!

Dracula: The powerful always judge the weak. The humans made their judgement of me, as well. Thus I sentenced them to extinction.

---

The Return of Dracula (1958)

[repeated line]
Jennie Blake: What? What did you say?
Count Dracula, posing as Bellac Gordal: Look at me, Jennie. You can see me if you try. You can see me in your mind. I can free your soul, Jennie. I can take you from the blackness into the light. Look at me , Jennie. Can you see me now?

Count Dracula, posing as Bellac Gordal: There is only one reality, Rachel: Death. I have come to bring you Death.

Rachel Mayberry: What are you?
Count Dracula, posing as Bellac Gordal: I think you know. I think you remember.

Rachel Mayberry: They've found out about Jennie. They're waiting for her.
Count Dracula, posing as Bellac Gordal: O yes? Well let them find her. She has fulfilled her purpose. We shall never be touched. The world shall spin and they all, all shall die. But not we.
Rachel Mayberry: I... I don't know.
Count Dracula, posing as Bellac Gordal: You only fear the unknown. Only this casing, this clumsy flesh stands between you and me. You are already balanced between two worlds. Eternity awaits you now.

---

Dracula cerca sangue di vergine... e morì di sete!!! (1974)

Count Dracula: The blood of these whores is killing me.

Count Dracula: If you really were clever, Anton, you would bring me a virgin from Italy and I wouldn't have to go.

Anton, the Count's Servant: Things look promising.
Count Dracula: O, you think so? I have no coffin to sleep in, the kitchen is full with impure meat, we've been travelling for days... No progress!

Count Dracula: It's very useful for a woman to practise home-making.

---

"Animaniacs: Draculee, Draculaa/Phranken-Runt (#1.29)" (1993)

Dracula: You can't make a fool out of me.
Yakko: [dress up Dracula in a fool outfit] Well, you can't blame a guy for trying.

Dracula: I am Count Dracula.
Yakko: Didn't you use to teach math on Sesame street.

Dracula: I am Count Dracula!
Yakko Warner: Didn't you use to teach math on Sesame Street?

---

Bud Abbott Lou Costello Meet Frankenstein (1948)

Larry Talbot: So! We meet again, Count Dracula.
Dracula: Dracula?
Wilbur Grey: Yes. That's who he says you are.
Dracula: Oh. My costume perhaps?
Chick Young: [jokingly] No. Talbot here thinks you're the real thing.
Wilbur Grey: Uh-huh. Right out of McDougal's House of Horrors.
Dracula: What an odd hallucination. But, the human mind is often inflamed with strange complexes. I suggest you consult your physician, Mr. Talbot.
Chick Young: [referring to Wilbur] And take him along with you, please.

Dracula: What we need is young blood... and brains...

---

Akumajô Dracula X: Gekka no yasukyôoku (1997) (VG)

Richter Belmont: Die, monster! You don't belong in this world!
Dracula: It is not by my hand that I am once again given flesh. I was brought here by humans who wish to pay me tribute.
Richter Belmont: Tribute? You steal mens' souls and make them your slaves!
Dracula: Perhaps the same could be said of all religions...
Richter Belmont: Your words are as empty as your soul. Mankind ill needs a savior such as you.
Dracula: What is a man?
[tosses goblet, which breaks]
Dracula: A miserable little pile of secrets. But enough talk, HAVE AT YOU!

Alucard: You have been doomed ever since you lost the ability to love.
Dracula: Ah, more sarcasm. For what profit is it for a man, if he were to gain the whole world and lose his own heart? Matthew 16:26, I believe.

---

Waxwork (1988)

Dracula: Raw meat. You do like raw meat?

Dracula: Steak tartar? Ah, yes. Steak tartar.

---

Scars of Dracula (1970)

Dracula: [to Paul] But you are. Before the castle was destroyed, strangers were always welcome. Please be seated. While your room is being prepared, you will take some wine?

Julie: Stop! Stop! Let me go! Let me go!
Klove: Have I pleased you, Master? Am I forgiven?
Dracula: You have done well.

---

Dracula (1958)

Count Dracula: I am Dracula and I welcome you to my house. I must apologize for not being here to greet you personally, but I trust you've found everything you needed.

Count Dracula: Sleep well, Mr. Harker.

---

Dracula A.D. 1972 (1972)

Johnny Alucard: Master, I did it, I summoned you!
Count Dracula: It was my will.

Count Dracula: You would play your brains against mine. Against me who has commanded nations?

---

The Monster Squad (1987)

[Dracula throws dynamite in the boys' tree house]
Dracula: Meeting adjourned.
[the tree house explodes]

Dracula: [holding Phoebe up by her throat] Give me the amulet, you BITCH!

---

The Satanic Rites of Dracula (1973)

Count Dracula: [Speaks to Van Helsing] In the days to come, you will pray for death... release...

Count Dracula: [to Prof Van Helsing] My revenge has spread over centuries and has just begun!

---

Nosferatu: Phantom der Nacht (1979)

Count Dracula: [Hearing howling] Listen...
[More howling]
Count Dracula: Listen. The children of the night make their music.

Count Dracula: Death is not the worst. There are things more horrible than death.

---

Dracula Has Risen from the Grave (1968)

Dracula: [to Maria] Now my revenge is complete.

Dracula: There is a girl...
Zena: What girl?
Dracula: The niece of the monsignor.
Zena: [with disgust] Maria?
Dracula: Bring her to me.
Zena: But what do you want her for? You've got me!
Dracula: [slaps her in the face] Bring her to me!

---

40 gradi all'ombra del lenzuolo (1976)

Dracula: We'll plunge together into a crimson lake!
Emilia Chiapponi: First you gotta plunge into something else.

---

Hollywood on Parade No. A-8 (1933)

Dracula: Betty... you have booped your last boop!

---

Die Hard Dracula (1998)

Dracula: "Try it sometime. Just put your lips together and suck."

---

House of Dracula (1945)

[first lines]
Dr. Edelman: What are you doing here? Who are you?
Count Dracula: I am Baron Latos. I have come to you for help.
Dr. Edelman: It's five o'clock in the morning.
Count Dracula: I must apologize for the intrusion. But travel is very difficult for me, and I've come a long way.
Dr. Edelman: I don't understand.
Count Dracula: Perhaps you will, after you've led me to the basement room of this castle.
Dr. Edelman: Eh - a very strange request. This castle is my home!
Count Dracula: Have no fear, doctor. Had conditions permitted, I would have presented myself in the usual manner.
Dr. Edelman: Well, it is most unusual...
Count Dracula: I will explain everything, before sunrise.

---

Her Morbid Desires (2008)

Count Dracula: [toasting] To courage, and how it fools men into thinking they can conquer the unconquerable.

---

Taste the Blood of Dracula (1970)

Dracula: They have destroyed my servant. They will be destroyed...

---

Dracula vs. Frankenstein (1971)

Dracula: I am known as the Count of Darkness, the Lord of the Manor of Corpathia.
[sic]

---

Yami no teio kyuketsuki Dracula (1980) (TV)

Dracula: [sees the burn in his hand] The Sign of the Cross. I have been used as an Instrument of Heaven!

---