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paul_haakonsen
I am a big fan of Asian cinema in particular, and I am quite fond of especially South Korean and Hong Kong movies.
My favorite genre is, and always have been, horror, with a preference to anything with zombies in it.
I believe that every movie should be given the chance of being seen - a belief that has lead me to watch many a questionable movies.
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Subject 101 (2022)
Made zero sense...
When I stumbled upon this 2022 movie titled "Subject 101", I happened to be drawn in by the movie's cover. I had never actually heard about the movie, but seeing that it was a horror/thriller movie, of course I opted to sit down and spend 86 minutes on watching it.
Sure, I didn't know what I was in for here, as I had never heard about the movie. So in a sense, I suppose that writer and director Tom Bewilogua had every opportunity readily available to impress and entertain me with this 2022 movie. I have to admit that I sat down to watch the movie with zero expectations.
Right, well this was definitely not a horror movie, so that was rather disappointing to find out. What was it then? A strange mixture of mystery and thriller. But it most certainly wasn't a horror movie.
The storyline in "Subject 101" failed to entertain me, and I was good and ready to turn off the dumpster fire that is "Subject 101" about halfway through. It was quite a struggle to sit through, because there was nothing interesting about the storyline, and it just made very little sense. So writer Tom Bewilogua failed to entertain and impress me with this movie.
I wasn't familiar with the cast ensemble in the movie, and that is actually something that I do enjoy whenever I sit down to watch a movie. I genuinely enjoy watching new talents and faces on the screen, as there are no associations to previously portrayed characters in other movies or TV series. The acting performances in "Subject 101" were actually good, despite the fact that the script was rubbish.
Visually then I found the movie to be a bit strange. It wasn't a movie that made use of an abundance of special effects. But the way that the movie was filmed and many of the shots were just odd and avantgarde. And that actually worked well in favor of the movie, giving it a strange and unique look.
"Subject 101" was a movie that failed to entertain me, and it definitely isn't a movie that I will ever watch again. Nor is it a movie that I would recommend you to waste your time, money or effort on.
My rating of "Subject 101" lands on a generous two out of ten stars.
Oblivion 2: Backlash (1996)
Oddly enjoyable...
When I stumbled upon the 1996 movie "Oblivion 2: Backlash" here in 2024, I had never actually heard about it. Nor have I heard about the first movie neither, so I didn't know whether or not having to have seen the first movie was crucial to understanding part two.
However, I opted to sit down and watch "Oblivion 2: Backlash" nonetheless, since it was a movie that I had never watched before. I wasn't aware that it was a sci-fi Western comedy movie, but that actually proved to be an interesting mixture of genres.
Writers Charles Band, Peter David, Mark Goldstein, John Rheaume and Greg Suddeth put together a script and storyline that actually was surprisingly entertaining. I surely hadn't expected the movie to turn out to be as entertaining as it did. It was a pretty straightforward script, but the combination of sci-fi, Western and comedy worked well in favor of the movie, and it was definitely something that I genuinely enjoyed.
I am surprised with the cast ensemble in the movie, which includes the likes of Andrew Divoff, Richard Joseph Paul, Meg Foster, Jackie Swanson, Carel Struycken, Maxwell Caulfield, Musetta Vander, Irwin Keyes, George Takei, Isaac Hayes and Julie Newmar. So there are some pretty big names and established talents on the cast list. I was quite surprised to see that. The acting performances in the movie were good, and there were some pretty interesting and memorable characters on the screen.
The swear that Doc Valentine (played by George Takei) did was just hilarious. That was a glorious touch to the movie.
The effects in "Oblivion 2: Backlash" were actually good, and quite a step up from the usual movies that Full Moon produced back in the day.
I found "Oblivion 2: Backlash" to be a rather enjoyable surprise of a movie, and it is actually well-worth sitting down and watching.
My rating of director Sam Irvin's 1996 movie "Oblivion 2: Backlash" lands on a six out of ten stars.
Sheborg Massacre (2016)
Cheesy and low budget, but watchable nonetheless...
When I sat down to watch this 2016 movie titled "Sheborg Massacre", I must admit that I wasn't really harboring a shred of high hopes for the movie. Why? Well, the movie's title and cover just wasn't exactly screaming top notch movie. But with it being a movie that I hadn't already seen, much less actually heard about, of course I opted to give writer and director Daniel Armstrong the benefit of the doubt.
The storyline in the movie was pretty straightforward, for better or worse. While the storyline wasn't neither rocket science or Shakespearian theater, then writer Daniel Armstrong did manage to put together something that was cheesy enough to actually be entertaining.
Of course I wasn't familiar with a single actress or actor on the cast list. The acting performances in the movie were actually fair.
The fight scenes in the movie were hilarious to watch, especially since in many of the scenes you can see the punches thrown are not even remotely close to making contact with whomever was being punched. That got a good chuckle out of me.
This is a low budget movie, no doubt about it. But I will say that writer and director Daniel Armstrong actually managed to turn it into something oddly enjoyable. There is just something fundamentally cheesy about the entire movie that actually works in favor of the overall impression of the movie.
The special effects in the movie were exactly that - special. I loved the stuffed toy dogs that were supposed to be dead dogs, and the spaghetti in tomato sauce that was supposed to be their innards. Very low key effects and they got a good chuckle out of me. Points for trying, at least. Something that speaks well in favor of the movie is the sheer amount of blood and mayhem that there is throughout the course of the 87 minutes that the movie ran for.
It looked and felt like the people involved in making "Sheborg Massacre" had a blast making the movie.
While "Sheborg Massacre" doesn't have the contents to become a cult classic, it definitely is well-worth checking out if you enjoy low budget cheesy sci-fi action movies.
My rating of "Sheborg Massacre" lands on a five out of ten stars.
Tarot (2024)
Watchable, but somewhat generic horror movie...
Needless to say that with my love of the horror genre, then of course I opted to sit down and watch the 2024 horror movie "Tarot", as I happened to stumble upon it by random chance. I had actually never heard about the movie prior to watching it, so all I knew about it was that it was a horror movie with a tarot card theme.
Writers Spenser Cohen, Anna Halberg and Nicholas Adams put together a fair enough script. I will say that it wasn't really an outstanding horror movie, but it made for an adequate enough viewing experience. I suppose if you're a newcomer to the horror genre then you will find more enjoyment in "Tarot" than what I did with more than 40 years experience of watching horror movies. The concept idea of the movie definitely had potential, but it was just delivered in a generic manner.
I found the script to be somewhat simplistic, and directors Spenser Cohen and Anna Halberg were just using one jump scare after another to keep the audience at the edge of their seats. Sure, I don't mind jump scares, but it has a tendency of growing tedious and boring when it is overdone. And sadly, that was the case in "Tarot". I do like, however, the way that each of the readings came into reality for each of the characters in the movie; that definitely was an inventive and creative feat from the writers.
In fact, writers Spenser Cohen, Anna Halberg and Nicholas Adams were playing it safe and using generic horror tropes. And when you get to see every single character of the cards standing far away in the background of a main character, silhouetted and shrouded in darkness, you just start to shrug at it. Doing it once, it works and has effect, but doing it over and over again just makes it repetitive and redundant. Plus, the majority of the movie was shot in near darkness, come on, really? That worked in the 1980s, but today I prefer to watch horror movies where I can see clearly what is going on, and not have most of the screen shrouded in shadows or complete darkness. And sadly, that was also the case in "Tarot".
Of the entire cast ensemble in "Tarot", I was only familiar with Jacob Batalon. I will say, though, that they had a good cast ensemble together for the movie, and the acting performances were definitely fair.
Visually, then I will say that "Tarot" was good. I liked the effects and the creatures in the movie. Thankfully that helped to keep the movie afloat and keeping it watchable. But the majority of the movie was shrouded in perpetual shadows or darkness, which took away a lot from the overall enjoyment of the movie.
Sure, "Tarot" is a watchable horror movie, but it is hardly an outstanding or memorable horror experience. And it is not a movie that will grace my screen a second time. If you enjoy horror movies, you should check out directors Spenser Cohen and Anna Halberg's 2024 movie, you might just like it, as it wasn't actually a bad movie.
My rating of "Tarot" lands on a flat five out of ten stars.
The Boss' Wife (1986)
But where was the comedy...?
I had never heard about this 1986 comedy from writer and director Ziggy Steinberg prior to sitting down and watching it for the first time here in 2024. In fact, I didn't even know who was starring in it when I opted to watch it.
The storyline in "The Boss' Wife" was mediocre. I can't claim that I was particularly entertained throughout the course of the 83 minutes that the movie ran for. The narrative was bland and sort of devoid of comedy, and that made sitting through the movie not a particularly enjoyable thing.
Something that spoke in favor of the movie was the cast ensemble. There were some good talents on the cast ensemble, just a shame that they had so little to work with. The movie had the likes of Daniel Stern, Fisher Stevens, Martin Mull, Robert Costanzo and Christopher Plummer on the cast list.
Sure, "The Boss' Wife" was watchable, but it was also a very forgettable movie. And come tomorrow, I am sure that the movie has faded from my memory already. And this is definitely not a movie that I will be returning to watch a second time.
My rating of this lackluster comedy from 1986 lands on a very generous four out of ten stars.
Boy Kills World (2023)
Surprisingly good...
Well, if you enjoy movies with a lot of emphasis on raw action, gunfights and martial arts, such as "John Wick" for example, then you're in luck if you opt to sit down and watch the 2023 movie "Boy Kills World". Director Moritz Mohr delivered a movie that was rather action-packed from start to end.
The storyline in the movie was pretty straightforward, though a bit simplistic, as it was a simple revenge movie. But then again, action movies such as this doesn't really need a complex or cerebral narrative. Nay, you just lean back, munch on the snacks and enjoy the over-the-top action. Writers Tyler Burton Smith, Arend Remmers and Moritz Mohr put together a fast paced action flick.
And over-the-top action is exactly what "Boy Kills World" is. There is an abundance of fight scenes, which I have to admit that I definitely enjoyed. It was choreographed quite nicely and executed nicely as well. So it was like watching a ballet of action and violence. And I have to say that Bill Skarsgård definitely carried the movie quite well.
The movie does have a good cast ensemble, with the likes of Bill Skarsgård, Jessica Rothe, Michelle Dockery, Brett Gelman, Yayan Ruhian, Sharlto Copley and Famke Janssen. And the acting performances in the movie were good.
Something I didn't really enjoy in the movie, and it was there from start to end, was the voice over done by H. Jon Benjamin to give the mute and deaf character Boy an internal voice. I grew very tired of listening to that rather quickly. But of course that is a matter of personal preference.
Visually then "Boy Kills World" is good. The action is nicely brought to the screen in a very dynamic and adrenaline-filled manner, and the special effects look good as well. The wardrobe department also worked their magic quite well in the movie.
I will say that I was rather surprised with the outcome of this movie, because I wasn't expecting a Bill Skarsgård movie to be that much in your face. And I have to say that I was genuinely entertained throughout the entire 111 minutes that the movie ran for.
However, "Boy Kills World" hardly seems like a movie that will make it to my screen a second time, as there just isn't enough contents to the script to make it a movie that I will be watching a second time.
My rating of "Boy Kills World" lands on a well-deserved seven out of ten stars.
Slime City Massacre (2010)
Meh...
Granted, when I sat down here in 2024 to watch the 2010 movie "Slime City Massacre", I wasn't exactly harboring much of any expectations. Why? Well, the movie's title and its cover just permeates low budget to High Heavens. But still, with it being a movie that I hadn't seen, much less actually heard of, then I opted to sit down and watch the movie.
The storyline was pretty straightforward. But it wasn't exactly a particularly grant viewing experience. The storyline, as written by Gregory Lamberson, was a bit silly and generic, even for a low budget horror movie such as it turned out to be. It looked and felt like something from Troma, and even Lloyd Kaufman showed up for a second or two.
I found the movie to have a bit too much focus on lewd scenes. And it was scenes that really didn't help further the narrative of the movie. So it felt like an excuse for writer and director Gregory Lamberson to cram in some of his own kinks.
The special effects in the movie were low key. But on the upside, then it wasn't exactly the worst of special effects I've seen in movies. So that counted for something. Though, keep in mind that you're not in for anything grand or memorable.
I am sure that there is an audience out there who appreciates low budget horror movie such as this. I just wasn't really a part of that target audience.
While I did watch the 1988 movie "Slime City" before, I have to say that I had entirely forgotten about it, so I didn't realize that this 2010 movie was a sequel to that movie, not before finding out by perusing the IMDb page.
My rating of "Slime City Massacre" lands on a three out of ten stars. The majority of the rating here is definitely for the effort that the movie-makers put into this project.
El tesoro de las cuatro coronas (1983)
This was terrible...
Needless to say that I have never actually heard about this 1983 movie titled "El Tesoro De Las Cuatro Coronas" (aka "Treasure of the Four Crowns") prior to stumbling upon it here in 2024- I saw that it was a fantasy movie, and thus I opted to give it a chance.
The first 20 minutes of the movie made zero sense. But sure, I guess it was entertaining back in the day to watch Tony Anthony run and jump around as he was dodging one trap after another, with a whole lot of items of strings coming towards the camera. And when the cast started to spontaneously explode, I was good and ready to turn off the movie.
But I stuck with it, hoping that the movie would become more of an actual movie and not just showcasing Tony Anthony avoiding ridiculous traps. But it never got better. Sure, writers Lloyd Battista, Jim Bryce, Jerry Lazarus, Tony Anthony and Gene Quintano added more contents to the storyline, but it just wasn't sufficient to make it an interesting movie.
I managed a staggering 40 minutes of painful watching, then I just gave up. When the scene with the flying key was over, I just had enough and tossed the towel in the ring.
Of course I wasn't familiar with a single actor or actress on the cast list. However, I can't claim that I was particularly impressed with what I saw on the screen. Not that the acting performances were bad, not at all. I just wasn't impressed with the performances delivered in the movie, as they were rather forgettable.
I love how you clearly can see the strings holding up the various creatures and items as they come flying directly at the camera. But hey, the effect worked as intended, just a shame you can see the strings.
There is a lot, and I mean a lot, of things coming right at you on the screen, I guess it was because of the glorious 1980s 3D special effects that peaked for a bunch of movies, but never really working out all that well.
A lot of the scenes in the movie were seriously out of focus, which made it quite a struggle to sit through. I suppose it was the glorious 1980s 3D effects coming into play once again.
"El Tesoro De Las Cuatro Coronas" is a dumpster fire of a movie. And definitely not a movie that I will ever return to attempt finish watching.
My rating of director Ferdinando Baldi's 1983 movie lands on a two out of ten stars.
Vanished in Yosemite (2023)
It was actually entertaining...
When I sat down to watch the 2023 TV thriller "Vanished in Yosemite" here in 2024, I must admit that I wasn't really harboring much of any grand expectations to the movie. I had never actually heard about it, so I didn't know what I was in for here.
And now that the movie has ended, I will say that writers Doug Campbell and Andrea Shawcross actually put together an enjoyable script and narrative for the movie. Sure, it was a TV thriller in every sense of that meaning, but I will admit that I was genuinely entertained.
There was something rather entertaining about the narrative. Perhaps it was the way that the narrative was constructed and presented, but it definitely worked for me. So thumbs up to the writers for that accomplishment. Sure, it could be said that it was a generic script not unlike many other movies similar to it. But it was entertaining nonetheless, and that is what mattered.
I wasn't familiar with a single actress or actor on the cast list. But they had a good ensemble of talents to portray the various characters and roles.
If you enjoy kidnapping thrillers, then "Vanished In Yosemite" is actually worth taking 85 minutes to sit down and watch.
My rating of director Doug Campbell's 2023 movie "Vanished In Yosemite" lands on a six out of ten stars.
A Most Atrocious Thing (2024)
Made with love of the horror comedy genre...
Stumbling upon the 2024 horror comedy "A Most Atrocious Thing" by random chance here in 2024, of course I opted to sit down and watch it. In fact, it being a horror comedy that I hadn't already seen was sufficient to make me sit down and watch it. But I have to say that I was definitely also lured in by the movie's cover.
Sure, I had zero expectations to what writers Christian Hurley, Ben Oliphint, Dylan DeVol and Max Shepardson had to offer. So you could say that they had every opportunity to entertain me here.
The storyline was actually good, because it was a mixture between "Evil Dead" and "Cabin Fever". I have to say that I actually enjoyed the script and the narrative in the movie. Sure, it felt like a homage to "Evil Dead", but it worked out nicely.
I am usually skeptic about movie that also star the writers and/or directors. But it played out well enough in this movie. Why? Well, because "A Most Atrocious Thing" was made with a lot of spirit and love of the horror comedy genre. It was very obvious that the writers and directors were fans of the genre and brought their own spin on the horror comedy to the screen in an entertaining manner.
Needless to say that I wasn't familiar with the cast ensemble in the movie. But the actors did put on good performances throughout the course of the 75 minutes that the movie ran for.
The deer in the movie looked so fake that it was hilarious to look at. It actually worked out well enough in favor of the movie, since it was so fake that it added to the overall enjoyment of the movie, provided you don't mind questionable creature effects. It should be noted, though, that the special effects in the movie were otherwise actually good for a movie of this caliber.
My rating of directors Christian Hurley and Ben Oliphint's 2024 movie "A Most Atrocious Thing" lands on a six out of ten stars.
Atlas (2024)
Surprisingly entertaining...
Well, truth be told, then I wasn't exactly harboring a whole lot of expectations to this 2024 action sci-fi movie titled "Atlas" as it was a sci-fi movie about AI and it was starring Jennifer Lopez. So yeah, that wasn't exactly sounding like a winning combination.
But as always, I let a movie that I haven't already seen, the benefit from the doubt, and thus I opted to sit down and watch the movie as it was readily available on Netflix. And color me impressed.
This movie was really entertaining. I enjoyed the storyline, though the blatant 'AI is a bad thing' doctrine that permeated the entire movie, was something that you can get to look past, and just enjoy the movie for the popcorn sci-fi action flick that it is. Writers Leo Sardarian and Aron Eli Coleite managed to put together an enjoyable and entertaining sci-fi action script, you just have to casually brush off the bombardment of 'AI is bad'.
Sure, the script and storyline was not spot on perfect. There were plot holes and things that didn't make much of any sense. In a world where they had lasers, spaceships, interstellar travel, armored robotic suits, etc., it just made little sense why handheld firearms still would fire old fashioned bullets. Or just how Harlan Shepherd had managed to harvest the materials for building a city fortress over the past 28 years on a remote planet far away from everything. But hey, just shrug it off as you much on the popcorn, and don't fuzz too much about it.
Even Jennifer Lopez impressed me with this movie. I actually think that this movie was the best movie of hers that I have sat through. It was nice to see her branch out and away from the generic, sappy and cliché romantic comedies that she has a tendency of popping up in. I wasn't familiar with Simu Liu, but he put on a good performance in the movie and was a nicely casted actor for the movie. It was also nice to see Mark Strong in the movie, just a shame that he wasn't given a role with more screen time.
Visually then I was really impressed with the special effects and CGI in the movie. It looked good and it looked realistic. I liked how much attention to detail they had put into the effects in "Atlas", and it really added a lot to the overall impression of the movie.
If you enjoy a good old fashioned action sci-fi movie where things doesn't necessarily make scientific sense, then sit down and watch "Atlas". Oh, and bring a bucket of popcorn. This is actually a sci-fi movie that I thoroughly enjoyed, and one that I warmly recommend.
My rating of "Atlas" lands on a well-deserved seven out of ten stars.
Miss Dial (2013)
Surprisingly good...
Alright then. I happened to stumble upon the 2013 comedy "Miss Dial" here in 2024, by random luck actually. And it was a movie that I had never heard about. And thus, since I hadn't already seen the movie, of course I took the time to sit down and watch what writer and director David H. Steinberg had to deliver.
Truthfully, then I figured that I would be in for a sappy comedy here. But that was based on the cover and the movie's title, since I didn't know what I was in for.
Color me impressed. Writer and director David H. Steinberg churned out a script and storyline that proved to be heartfelt, entertaining, enjoyable and also memorable. Sure, it was a bit sappy and generic, but it worked out nicely. And I have to admit that I was genuinely entertained throughout the course of the 88 minutes that the movie ran for.
I found the storyline to be original enough to stand out among many other romantic comedies, and that definitely was because of the talent of writer and director David H. Steinberg.
Of the entire cast ensemble, I was only familiar with Sara Rue, whom was in a supportive role here. I will say that leading actress Robinne Lee (playing Erica) and leading actor Same Jaeger (playing Kyle) carried the movie quite nicely.
I would say that "Miss Dial" is actually worth sitting down to watch if you enjoy romantic comedies.
My rating of this 2013 romantic comedy from writer and director David H. Steinberg lands on a six out of ten stars.
Darkness of Man (2024)
Sluggish action thriller without much of any action or thrills...
Stumbling upon the 2024 action thriller "Darkness of Man" by random chance, and seeing that it was starring Jean-Claude Van Damme, of course I opted to sit down and watch it. Solely because it was a movie that I hadn't already seen, much less actually heard about, and for the nostalgia of watching Jean-Claude Van Damme on the screen.
Sure, I can't claim that I was harboring much of any grand expectations to "Darkness of Man", as Jean-Claude Van Damme haven't exactly been spewing out overly great movies for the better part of two decades. But hey, I opted to give director James Cullen Bressack's movie a fair chance, if for nothing else, then just for the sheer nostalgia of fondly remembering Jean-Claude Van Damme from the prime of his career.
The storyline was a bit sluggish. There wasn't really much of any momentum to the narrative and it felt like the movie was running in Neutral throughout long parts. So writers James Cullen Bressack, Alethea Hnatko-Cho and Jean-Claude Van Damme didn't exactly conjure up something overly memorable or entertaining here.
The acting performances in the movie were fair, and it is showing that Jean-Claude Van Damme is getting older, naturally. So you shouldn't expect this movie to be up to par with something like "Bloodsport", for example. There are a couple of nice appearances on the screen, albeit rather short appearances, by the likes of Kristanna Loken, Shannen Doherty, Cynthia Rothrock, Zack Ward and Eric Roberts.
While I did manage to sit through the entire movie, I was only mildly entertained. But this is definitely not a movie that will be returning to watch a second time. "Darkness of Man" was a semi-watchable action thriller, without an abundance of action or thrills.
My rating of "Darkness of Man" lands on a generous four out of ten stars.
Abigail (2019)
It definitely had potential...
I virtually had no idea what I was in for here, when I sat down to watch the 2019 movie "Abigail" from director Aleksandr Boguslavskiy. In fact, I had never even heard about the movie prior to stumbling upon it by random chance here in 2024. I will say, though, that the movie's cover was interesting enough to make me stop and take notice, and thus opting to sit down and watching it without knowing what I was in for.
Writers Dmitriy Zhigalov, Aleksey Slushchev and Aleksandr Boguslavskiy put together a storyline that I felt was a bit cluttered. I didn't really fully understand what was going on, nor whom the many different characters were and what their motivations were.
Of the entire cast ensemble in the movie, I was only familiar with actor Eddie Marsan. It should be noted, though, that the acting performances in the movie were relatively fair. Nothing outstanding to be witnessed here, truth be told.
The movie stated that it was an English language movie, but it was quite a surprise that it was a voice over or dub. And a terrible one at that. The voice acting was flat and devoid of emotion and life, making it sound unnatural and laughable to listen to. I am amazed that voice over work still can be so poor, and it just takes away so much from a movie. I have always loathed dubbing in movies, and after this movie, I very much still do. If they had only opted to keep the movie in its original language and abhor from the horrible dubbing, then the movie would have fared better with me, and I would have enjoyed it a lot more.
Visually then I will say that "Abigail" was good. They definitely put a lot of effort and work into the wardrobe, props, locations, special effects, etc. There was a very distinctive atmospheric feel to the movie.
I didn't find "Abigail" to be a particularly impressive movie, because of the cluttered storyline and narrative, and most certainly also because of the monotonous dubbing.
My rating of director Aleksandr Boguslavskiy's 2019 adventure movie "Abigail" lands on a generous four out of ten stars.
Alice in Terrorland (2023)
A bizarre take on the classic Lewis Carroll tale...
Another horror movie that I hadn't heard about prior to stumbling upon it by random chance. And with it being a horror movie that I had never seen nor heard of, of course I had to sit down and watch it. Horror is my go-to genre for entertainment, so of course there was no doubt about me sitting down to watchng what writer and director Richard John Taylor had to deliver here.
However, from the glorious 3.2 rating here on IMDb, which was the rating when I sat down to watch the movie, I have to say that I wasn't exactly harboring much of any expectations or hopes to the movie. But still, I opted to watch it on the off chance that the movie might actually be entertaining to me.
The storyline in "Alice in Terrorland" was somewhat of a swing and a miss in terms of properly entertaining me. Sure, there were aspects to it that proved good, but the overall impression of the narrative was not something that I found to be overly enjoyable or entertaining. So it was a bit of a struggle to sit through the movie. And truth be told, the pacing of the narrative was rather monotonous and bland, which resulted in a somewhat boring viewing experience.
Sure, I will give writer Richard John Taylor points for managing to take Lewis Carroll's classic tale and spin a modern twist on it. Just a shame that it failed to properly entertain me.
I was not familiar with anyone on the cast list, and that is actually something that I do enjoy when I sit down and watch a movie. The acting performances in the movie were good, though I have to say that I couldn't point anyone out for putting on a memorable performance.
Visually then I will say that the movie was fair. The props, wardrobes, etc. Looked good and had a certain atmospheric feel to it that definitely added something to the overall impression of the movie.
Now, I am sure that there is an audience out there for a bizarre movie such as what "Alice in Terrorland" turned out to be. So give it a chance, if you find odd movies to be your thing.
My rating of "Alice in Terrorland" lands on a three out of ten stars.
Light (2024)
This was truly abysmal...
Well, without ever having heard about this 2024 sci-fi thriller titled "Light", I opted to sit down and watch it, as I stumbled upon it by random chance. I didn't really know what I was in for, but the movie's synopsis sounded interesting enough.
Now, had I noticed that the movie had scored a staggering 2.7 rating here on IMDb prior to sitting down and watching it, I might have skipped on the movie entirely. However, I can understand why the movie has landed such a low rating, because this movie was a swing and a miss from writer and director Matt Woollard.
The storyline is supposed to have an alien creature stalking a crash-landed mother on a dark planet. But instead of that, which actually was an interesting concept, we are treated to 93 minutes of close-ups of Christine Roche and Gia Lily's faces in some low budget space suits, with a purple filter added to the camera, while they are delivering monotone dialogue. Yeah, there was absolutely nothing interesting happening throughout the course of the movie.
I wasn't familiar with the cast ensemble in the movie. Not that it really mattered, because the acting was severely restricted, as the actresses and actors virtually had nothing to work with.
"Light" looks and feels like it was shot in a 5 foot by 5 foot stage, making it look very low key and low budget.
If you enjoy sci-fi more than life itself, then you might get a kick out of watching writer and director Matt Woollard's 2024 movie. However, if you sit down to watch a movie with the intention of being entertained, then "Light" is not a movie that I would recommend you waste your precious time, money or effort on. Some of us suffered through this dumpster fire of a movie, so you don't have to; you're very welcome.
My rating of "Light" lands on a very generous one out of ten stars.
Hunting Housewives (2024)
Laughably ridiculous...
I have to admit that when I sat down to watch the 2024 movie "Hunting Housewives", I was expecting it to be a comedy. I mean, given the movie's title and the fact that it was starring Denise Richards, well I thought I was in for a laugh or two.
The storyline in "Hunting Housewives" was just insanely laughable. I mean, Mark Dodds plan was just so far out there, but at least it was good for a laugh or two. I really can't believe that people actually greenlighted the script that writer Paula Tiberius conjured up for this movie.
And how convenient that Mark managed to set up an abundance of cameras in the wilderness at the exact location where the plane crashes. How convenient. Quite a coincidence, huh? And the fact that none of the ladies stumble upon the cameras before the last quarter of the movie is even more impressive. And even more impressive was the fact that Mark put his company's logo on the back of the cameras. Seriously? Was this script written by a toddler?
Of the entire cast ensemble, I was actually only familiar with actress Denise Richards. The acting performances in the movie were actually fair, despite the rubbish script that the actors and actresses had to work with.
This is definitely not a movie that I would recommend you wasting 85 minutes on watching. Some of us suffered through this ordeal, so you don't have to. You're quite welcome. It is definitely not a movie that I will ever return to watch a second time, because it was horrible to sit through the first time around.
My rating of director Marco Deufemia's 2024 swing and a miss thriller lands on a two out of ten stars.
Chasing Raine (2024)
An action thriller devoid of action and thrills...
Needless to say that I had of course never heard about the 2024 action thriller titled "Chasing Raine" prior to stumbling upon it by sheer blind luck and opting to sit down and watch it. Sure, I didn't know what I was in for here, aside from it being an action thriller, but with it being a movie that I hadn't already seen, of course the movie got a fair chance.
Writers and directors Lee Bateman and Quinanthony Bateman put together a rather monotonous and bland script and storyline. The narrative was progressing at an incredibly sluggish pace, which made it quite a struggle to sit through the movie without falling asleep.
I wasn't familiar with the cast ensemble in the movie, which is usually something I enjoy when I sit down to watch a movie. While the acting performances in "Chasing Raine" were fair enough, it just wasn't memorable or outstanding performances. But then again, the actors and actresses didn't really have much of anything in terms of script, dialogue or character gallery to work with.
For an action thriller, I was surprised at the lack of both action and thriller contents to the script. It neither felt nor looked like an action thriller. And if you enjoy action thrillers, do yourself a favor and give "Chasing Raine" a wide berth, it just simply isn't worth spending 101 minutes on watching.
My rating of "Chasing Raine" lands on a generous two out of ten stars.
Sasquatch Sunset (2024)
This was definitely something else...
Granted, I had never heard about this 2024 movie titled "Sasquatch Sunset" prior to sitting down to watch it. So I didn't know what I was in for here, aside from it apparently being a comedy with sasquatches.
Well, this movie wasn't really much of a comedy, and I wasn't brought to any laughs throughout the course of the 88 minutes that the movie ran for. It was, however, a very, very unique movie. I must admit that in my many years of watching movies, then I have never actually experienced anything like what directors David Zellner and Nathan Zellner delivered here. "Sasquatch Sunset" is a movie that will find easily find a liking with everyone in the audience as it is a rather odd and unique movie experience.
You actually come to care for the sasquatches as they trek through the wilderness and you sort of form an attachment to them, basking in their accomplishments and grieving with them in their loss and sadness. And that was a nice accomplishment from writer David Zellner and performers Jesse Eisenberg, Riley Keough, Christophe Zajac-Denek and Nathan Zellner.
I must admit that I actually enjoyed watching "Sasquatch Sunset", because it was not a mainstream movie. And the fact that it wasn't a comedy didn't really matter, because the movie proved to be entertaining nonetheless.
"Sasquatch Sunset" is a visually impressive movie. I really liked the sasquatch designs, because they looked realistic and believable. Well, as realistic and believable as imaginary creatures can get. The costume designs were really good and added a lot of flavor to the movie. But not only was the costume designs good, but the entire way that the movie was shot, with the nature locations and the cinematography, that was quite aesthetic as well, adding great layers to the overall impression of the movie.
And in all my years of watching movies, I never thought I would ever see sasquatches fornicate, defecate and urinate on the screen. But here it is, in all its natural glory.
The movie only has four names on the cast list, and with Jesse Eisenberg being the only familiar name. I will say, though, that the acting performances in the movie were good, despite there being no dialogue.
If you enjoy movies that deviate from the norm and from the mainstream cinema, then you definitely should take the time to sit down and watch "Sasquatch Sunset". I was genuinely entertained throughout the course of the entire movie.
My rating of "Sasquatch Sunset" lands on a six out of ten stars.
The Fall Guy (2024)
Bland...
This was not a movie that I was in any particular rush to sit down and watch. But eventually got around to doing so, as I had the opportunity to do so.
The storyline in "The Fall Guy", as written by Glen A. Larson and Drew Pearce, was okay. It wasn't an outstanding or memorable storyline. Sure, it was watchable, but it felt somewhat flat and generic at times.
I found "The Fall Guy" to be entertaining for what it was, but it was hardly an outstanding movie for me. It just wasn't really tickling me in the right places, and I have to say that I was expecting a tad more from director David Leitch's 2024 movie than what "The Fall Guy" turned out to be.
The acting performances in the movie were fair. I am not particularly a big fan of Ryan Gosling, and "The Fall Guy" was hardly among his better of movies. And Emily Blunt, well, you know what you get with her in movies, so there's that.
Visually then the movie was good, and it was the action scenes and sequences that kept the movie afloat and kept it watchable.
While I did manage to sit through this movie in its 126 minutes runtime, which felt long, then I was only mildly entertained. "The Fall Guy" is not a movie that I will sit down to watch a second time, as it was enough of a struggle to sit through it the first time.
My rating of "The Fall Guy" lands on a very generous five out of ten stars.
Teddiscare (2024)
Another terrible Polonia movie...
Needless to say that I had never actually heard about the 2024 horror movie "Teddiscare" prior to sitting down to watch it. I happened to stumble upon the movie by random luck, and I have to say that the movie's cover was actually interesting enough to make me stop and take notice. It had a very 1980s classic horror feel to it, and that is what drew me in.
However, had I known that this was a Mark Polonia movie, then I would have avoided it like the plague. Yeah, that guy just doesn't make good movies. For some reason it feels like he has made a sport out of finding the most inept and untalented actors and actresses. And "Teddiscare" was no different.
The movie is terrible. No doubt about it, and the cover was the best thing about the ordeal. In fact, the movie's cover had nothing to do with the movie, as it was merely a guy walking around in a teddy bear mascot costume bought off of Wish. So yeah, it was a major disappointment to see that.
I wouldn't have to say that I wasn't familiar with a single actor or actress on the cast list, except for Jeff Kirkendall, whom apparently is in every single Mark Polonia movie. The acting performances in "Teddiscare" were nothing to write home about.
Visually, then this movie is bad. Especially the CGI animated blood spray. That was just horrible to look at.
Now, I am sure that there is a small niche of hardcore Mark Polonia fans out there that will find some perverse enjoyment in "Teddiscare". But for the casual viewer and those wanting to be entertained by a proper movie, then don't waste 82 minutes of your life on watching this dumpster fire of a movie. Some of us suffered through this, so you don't have to; you're very welcome.
My rating of "Teddiscare" lands on a two out of ten stars.
Reptilians (2024)
Time to strap on your tinfoil hats...
Alrighty then, well I thought that this was actually a sci-fi movie of sorts, so imagine my surprise when it turned out to be a documentary.
Now, I've seen my fair share of dubious and questionable documentaries, but "Reptilians" from writer and director Silas James Rowland definitely is the icing on the cake. When and if you opt to sit down to watch "Reptilian", you have to ensure that you are wearing your tinfoil hat a few sizes too tight.
This was definitely the most laughable documentary I've seen in ages. Talk about a laughable concept conjured up to people with way too vivid imaginations and too much time on their hands. Seriously? A race of reptilian humanoids Hellbent to take over the world? I don't know whether to laugh or cry at the absurdity that people actually being this stuff.
The visual effects and CGI effects in "Reptilians" was not particularly great. It looked and felt like something taken out of a shoddy computer game.
It takes a certain type of crackpot to believe in the topic that "Reptilians" deals with. But they are out there, sadly so.
I would not recommend you to waste 76 minutes of your life to sit down and watching "Reptilians". It just simply isn't worth the time or effort. Some of us suffered through this and took on for the team. You're very welcome.
My rating of writer and director Silas James Rowland's 2024 documentary "Reptilians" lands on a one out of ten stars.
Mission of the Shark: The Saga of the U.S.S. Indianapolis (1991)
Enjoyable movie...
I had never even heard about this 1991 movie titled "Mission of the Shark: The Saga of the U. S. S. Indianapolis" before stumbling upon it by random chance here in 2024. And of course I opted to sit down and watch the movie, as I was familiar with the story upon which the movie is based.
Writer Alan Sharp put together a fair script for director Robert Iscove to bring to the screen. It was a nicely paced script and narrative, and it was an entertaining and enjoyable storyline, despite of it being based on a real tragedy.
Something that really impressed me about this movie was the cast ensemble. Talk about having a lot of talented actors on the cast list, with the likes of Stacy Keach, David Caruso, Don Harvey, Richard Thomas, Robert Cicchini, Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa, Steve Landesberg, Andrew Prine and Dale Dye. And the acting performances in the movie were quite good.
Visually then the movie was good. While it wasn't a movie that was throwing special effects left and right, there were some good visual effect that helped further the narrative and actually looked realistic. And the shark attack scenes were also nicely made.
All in all, "Mission of the Shark: The Saga of the U. S. S. Indianapolis" is worth sitting down to watch if you haven't already seen it. However, I have to say that there is zero replay value to the movie. Once you've seen it, there is nothing else to get from the narrative, and thus it is a movie that will be shelved indefinitely after having been watched.
My rating of "Mission of the Shark: The Saga of the U. S. S. Indianapolis" lands on a six out of ten stars.
Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead (2024)
This was brutal...
Right, when I stumbled upon the 2024 movie "Don't Tell Mom The Babysitters Dead", I didn't know that they had remade the 1991 movie from director Stephen Herek. And my first thought was "but why?". Yet, I opted to sit down and watch the movie with an open mind and give director Wade Allain-Marcus's 2024 movie a fair chance.
But not even five minutes into it, it was painstakingly clear that this was going to suck big time. Yup, I figured that this movie would be a pointless remade that was remade solely for the purpose of being potically correct and inclusive. And guess what, my intuition was right.
The narrative in the movie was similar to the 1991 movie where writers Neil Landau and Tara Ison put together an enjoyable and entertaining script and storyline. But this watered-down 2024 remake from writer Chuck Hayward just paled in comparison. Sure, there were some fair enough aspects to it, but it was overshadowed by the looming sense of how pointless the remake was and some insanely recially stereotypical characters that just did nothing to further the enjoyment of the movie.
And even upgrading the movie to today's sad state of society and the inclusiveness and political correctness just didn't fare well on the screen. It was too forced and desperate from writer Chuck Hayward.
The comedy in the movie fell flat and I actually weren't brought to laughter even once throughout the course of the 99 minutes that the movie ran for.
I actually wasn't familiar with a single actor or actress on the cast list. And that is actually usually something I do enjoy in movies, but it just didn't play out all that well here, because of the stereotypical character gallery, annoying music and general pointlessness of the entire movie.
Wow, the music in this abysmal remake of a movie was atrocious. I absolutely loathed the music that played throughout the course of the suffering that was the 99 minutes that the movie ran for.
If you've ever watched the 1991 movie from director Stephen Herek, then stick with that one, and just completely ignore and look past this 2024 remake, because it was a dumpster fire. However, if you haven't watched the 1991 movie, then you might actually find something watchable here, I guess. I just didn't enjoy this movie.
My rating of this utterly pointless remake lands on a generous two out of ten stars. Seriously? Why remake the 1991 movie?
Science Fiction Volume One: The Osiris Child (2016)
Sort of a forgettable action sci-fi...
Needless to say that I hadn't heard about this 2016 action sci-fi movie titled "Science Fiction Volume One: The Osiris Child" prior to sitting down and watching it. But then again, given my general lack of interest in most things sci-fi, then I can't claim that I have been looking up sci-fi movies. I happened to stumble upon this movie by random chance here in 2024 and opted to sit down and watch it.
I have to say that I wasn't really harboring much of any expectations, because I virtually didn't know what I was in for here. But in a sense, then writers Shane Abbess and Brian Cachia, with the former also directing the movie, had every opportunity to entertain me and impress me with this movie.
The storyline was a bit forgettable. Sure, it made for an adequate enough viewing experience, I suppose. But I can't claim to be impressed with the narrative, because it was a bit bland. But I am sure that diehard sci-fi fans would be enjoying this movie way more than I did.
I wasn't familiar with the cast ensemble in the movie, aside from Temuera Morrison. The acting performances were actually fair throughout the course of the movie, making it all the more bearable to sit through.
Visually then I will say that the CGI effects were good. And with this being an action sci-fi movie, then having proper and believable CGI effects is a make or break deal. Luckily, the CGI was good in the movie, and added to the overall enjoyment of the entire movie.
While I did manage to sit through "Science Fiction Volume One: The Osiris Child" in its entire 95 minute runtime, I can honestly say that I am never returning to watch it a second time. The movie's cover oversold the movie by a mile.
My rating of director Shane Abbess's 2016 movie "Science Fiction Volume One: The Osiris Child" lands on a five out of ten stars.