Bloodfordracula Reviews

Incident at Loch Ness (2004)

The Hilarious Werner Herzog

[10/10 · 2 October 2004]

I just got back from seeing INCIDENT AT LOCH NESS. This is one of the two funniest films I've ever seen. I've never sat in a movie theater with an audience that laughed this much and this hard. Two thirds of the audience even stayed for the credits.

I'm so glad that a broader audience now has the chance to see what a funny and fascinating person Werner Herzog is (they even show clips from some of Herzog's films for the uninitiated). The acting performances are incredible (with the exception of Zak Penn and Kitana Baker who are still believable, most of the time). When the movie was over I overheard people talking about whether what they had just seen was real or fake.

Go see it immediately. It's deliciously hilarious and the best film of the year.

Rating: 10 out of 10.

Pirates (1986)

One of Polanski's Most Underrated Films

[10/10 · 26 May 2004]

Pirates is one of Roman Polanski's most underrated films along with The Fearless Vampire Killers and the Tenant. While the latter two films are masterpieces, Pirates is a very good pirate film that's never received it's due.

Polanski redefines the pirate film while still paying tribute to the swashbuckling genre. This film is the perfect companion piece to The Fearless Vampire Killers. Walter Matthau gives an excellent performance as the fearless Pirate and the rest of the cast's performances hit all the right notes. Polanski's direction is masterful as always. The photography and musical score are also very good. From a purely technical standpoint this film is excellent. The script is really the only thing that keeps this film from attaining greatness.

MGM who now hold the DVD rights (they now own the rights to the entire Cannon film library) must release this film as soon as possible in it's uncut, 124 minute widescreen glory (I suggest emailing MGM).

Film rating: 9 out of 10.

The Ninth Gate (1999)

A Great Film - Highly Underrated

[10/10 · 31 July 2003]

The Ninth Gate is a great film and one of Roman Polanski's most underrated films. Twenty years from now people will give this film the respect it deserves and hail it to be the great film that it is.

Fist of all The Ninth Gate is not an action film. It's a slow-paced psychological thriller very similar in tone and style to Polanski's earlier films Chinatown and Frantic. Johnny Depp and Frank Langella both give great performances. Darius Khondji's photography is amazing and it has an even more amazing score by Kilar. The majority of the film was shot on location and is like a guided tour through Europe.

Ignore the negative reviews and comments from people who've been brainwashed and blinded by the current Hollywood fast-food style of film making with the intention of only appealing to the lowest common denominator. A review doesn't make a good film better or a bad film worse. A superb film. Rating 10 out of 10.

Stroszek (1977)

ONE OF THE 10 GREATEST FILMS EVER MADE!

[10/10 · 31 July 2003]

Werner Herzog's Stroszek (1977) is one of the ten greatest films ever made. It's almost equally as good as Herzog's The Enigma of Kasper Hauser (1974) and Aguirre the Wrath of God (1973).

Bruno S., the unknown soldier of cinema once again gives one of the finest performances I've ever seen. Eva Mattes is also wonderful as the prostitute Eva who along with Bruno and Herr Scheitz decide to emigrate from Berlin to Wisconsin to fulfill the elusive American dream. This tragicomedy is one of the bleakest films I've ever seen and also one of the funniest.

Herzog's brilliant film making style gives the entire film the look and feel of a documentary, yet like all of his films Stroszek is highly stylized. An absolute masterpiece! Rating: A 10 out of 10.

Hamlet (1990)

The Best Film Adaptation of Hamlet

[10/10 · 30 July 2003]

Franco Zeffirelli's Hamlet is the definitive film adaptation of the most famous play ever written. This is a brilliant film by a genius filmmaker. This version surpasses Kenneth Branaugh's overblown version and is even better than Laurence Olivier's film.

This is a very realistic and naturalistic version set during 13th Century (the period Shakespeare set his play in). The acting is amazing; Mel Gibson and Glen Close both give the best performances of their careers and everyone else is also fantastic. The film was shot entirely on location in real castles, it has amazing photography by David Watkin and a great score by Ennio Morricone. Rating: A 10 out of 10.

Signs of Life (1968)

Werner Herzog's First Feature Film: A Masterpiece

[10/10 · 29 July 2003]

Signs of Life is Werner Herzog's very first feature film and also one of his best. The script may have even inspired Stephen King's novel The Shining. In Signs of Life we have an injured soldier and his wife working as the caretakers of a military fortress on a Greek island. The soldier eventually goes mad with boredom and tries to kill his wife and everyone else.

Werner Herzog wrote the award winning script in 1964 and made the film in 1967 with only $20,000 at age twenty-five with a stolen 35mm movie camera. Herzog's script is amazing and all of the actors perform flawlessly. Signs of Life has great photography and a great use of Greek music and has Herzog's distinctive slow pace which may seem like torture to the average viewer who's been forced-fed a steady diet of fast food images.

Fata Morgana (1971)

Haunting and Hypnotic.

[10/10 · 26 June 2003]

Fata Morgana is an absolute masterpiece. It's Werner Herzog's most unconventional film. It doesn't have a plot or story. Instead of a story, we're given a collection of images, words and music that work so wonderfully together. It's not a documentary either. Some of the people in this film are directed and given lines to read. It has some of the most beautiful and haunting images. Herzog shoots real mirages and we see cars and people floating around in the middle of the desert who aren't actually there but hundreds of miles away reflected like in a mirror. The use of music in this movie is so brilliant - from Leonard Cohen, Mozart, and the Third Ear Band. Imagine Stanley Kubrick's 2001: A Space Odyssey in the desert; that's what this movie is like. This film is so hypnotic that it has the ability to make you feel as though your spirit has left your body. A must see. It will change the way you view films. Rating: 10 out of 10.

Young Toscanini (1988)

Obscure Zeffirelli

[10/10 · 25 June 2003]

This film is the great Franco Zeffirelli's most obscure film and one of his most underrated. C Thomas Howell gives a very good performance as Toscanini. It has beautiful photography, great sets, locations and costumes. The film's only weakness is the script. Some parts are a bit too melodramatic. Although not his best, this film is better than Zeffirelli's ENDLESS LOVE and his latest film CALLAS FOREVER. A good film overall and worth seeing if you're a Zeffirelli or Toscanini fan. An 8 out of 10.

The Fearless Vampire Killers (1967)

Polanski's Gothic Masterpiece

[10/10 · 13 January 2003]

The Fearless Vampire Killers is one of Roman Polanski's best films. This gothic fairy tale has a beautiful child-like innocence to it, yet at the same time it's both funny and scary. This film is far superior in every way to the highly overrated Young Frankenstein and is even better than Polanski's Chinatown. It has amazing cinematography and an amazing score by Kristopher Komeda. Everything in this film works wonderfully and the acting, including Polansk's performance as a bumbling vampire hunter is flawless. It's tragic that Warner Bros hasn't released this film on DVD yet.

Invincible (2001)

Herzog's Ecstatic Truth

[10/10 · 10 January 2003]

'Invincible' is an unbelievably powerful film. After an eleven year absence from feature films Invincible proves that Werner Herzog is the greatest living film-maker. Although far from being his best film ('The Enigma of Kaspar Hauser' and 'Aguirre the Wrath of God' are his best) this film has an amazing power and is reminiscent of 'The Enigma of Kaspar Hauser'. Jouko Ahola's performance as Zische Breitbart is the most innocent portrayal I've ever seen given by an actor. This is a film that requires more than one viewing to really understand it's power and depth. By the final scene I was crying uncontrollably.

Nosferatu the Vampyre (1979)

This is the Greatest Vampire Film Ever Made.

[10/10 · 10 January 2003]

Not only is Werner Herzog's 'Nosferatu the Vampyre' the greatest vampire film ever made but it's also one of the greatest films of all-time. Every shot in this film is a work of art. The music is amazing from Popol Vuh to Wagner's 'Das Rhinegold'. Klaus Kinski's performance is a one of the greatest performances ever committed to film. This film has far more depth than Murnau's 'Nosferatu' and is superior in every way. If you like this film you'll love Werner Herzog's 1974 film 'The Enigma of Kaspar Hauser' and his 1973 film 'Aguirre the Wrath of God'.

Brother Sun, Sister Moon (1972)

Franco Zeffirelli is a Genius!

[10/10 · 9 January 2003]

Franco Zeffirelli is responsible for three of the greatest films ever made: 'Romeo and Juliet', 'Jesus of Nazareth' and 'Brother Sun, Sister Moon'. This film displays Zeffirelli's genius at it's clearest and is a perfect amalgamation of his other two films, 'Romeo and Juliet' and 'Jesus of Narareth'. Ennio Guarnieri's photography is amazing. Any single frame is this movie is a work of art that could be framed and hung up on a wall. Like in his previous film 'Romeo and Juliet', Zeffirelli brings a a sense of urgency to this film. Donovan's music is beautiful even though he only wrote four of the songs. The rest of the songs, including 'Brother Sun, Sister Moon' were written by Italian composer Riz Ortolani. If you love 'Romeo and Juliet' or 'Jesus of Nazareth' you'll love this film.

Romeo and Juliet (1968)

Franco Zeffirelli's Masterpiece

[10/10 · 9 January 2003]

Not only is 'Romeo and Juliet' Franco Zeffirelli's best film but it is without question the greatest Shakespeare film ever made and one of the five greatest films of all time. Every shot in this film is a work of art. Nino Rota's score is so powerful and hauntingly beautiful. The performances are excellent but it is Franco Zeffirelli's magic touch that makes this film so amazing. Zeffirelli brings a sense of urgency to every movement and every word spoken. This movie has to be one of the most underrated films ever made. If you love this movie watch Franco Zeffirelli's 1973 film 'Brother Sun, Sister Moon' - this film is almost as great as 'Romeo and Juliet' and it is just as powerful and beautiful.

The Enigma of Kaspar Hauser (1974)

Werner Herzog: Like A Prophet

[10/10 · 6 January 2003]

Not only is THE ENIGMA OF KASPAR HAUSER Werner Herzog's best film but I also believe it to be the greatest film ever made along with Stanley Kubrick's A CLOCKWORK ORANGE. KASPAR HAUSER has some of the most incredible and powerful images ever filmed.

The opening shot is that of a rye field blowing in the wind; we hear Pachelbel's 'Cannon' and the following words appear on the screen; "Don't you hear that horrible screaming all around you? The screaming men call silence." This sequence perfectly captures the spirit of this film; the beauty of suffering seen through the eyes of a human that is untainted and unformed by society.

This film changed my life. I now see the world with a new set of eyes. It has the most amazing photography, brilliant use of music and an amazing performance by Bruno S.; a schizophrenic street musician who never acted before and who had been incarcerated for most of his life.

Storia di una capinera (1993)

Zeffirelli's Poetic Genius

[8/10 · 28 October 2002]

Franco Zeffirelli is a genius and is by far the greatest Italian director of all time (yes, greater than Fellini and Visconti). This film is one of the most exquisitely photographed films ever made. The Sparrow is an incredible tragedy about forbidden love, and reminiscent of Zeffirelli's greatest film Romeo and Juliet. Angela Bettis is amazing in her portrayal of a girl that must choose between god and lover. A 10 out of 10.